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Original poster

DS spending far too long in the shower every single day

204 replies

goaskmum · 18/04/2022 22:21

With rising living costs I am concerned about the length of time my DS spends in the shower everyday, usually he spends about 15-20 minutes in it which imo is far too long, funny how me and the rest of our household are in and out within 5 minutes!

I have asked DS several times to reduce the time he spends in the shower and he does nothing about it, he shows a complete disregard to the increasing living costs.

This is more a WWYD - I have said to him that if he wants to spend that length of time in the shower he is going to have to contribute to the gas costs every month as I can’t keep up with it all , I am also considering switching off the boiler when the 5 minute mark passes.

I don’t really know how else I can deal with his selfishness!

OP posts:
BarbaraofSeville · 19/04/2022 12:31

@DoggoShark

It will be interesting to see how the bills later this year will change some peoples habits.

Maybe it will change mumsnet too. No more threads looking down on anyone that doesn’t shower 25 times a day.....🤭

Well you'd think, but seeing as there's been at least two threads in the last few days where multiple people have said that people with less than perfect teeth should 'just get implants', because everyone has thousands of pounds they can just pull out of their arse for cosmetic dentistry, I won't hold my breath.
Kanaloa · 19/04/2022 12:33

Wasting water and electricity, both of which are expensive resources, is never a good thing.
Good things for your mental health:
Going for a lovely long walk - free
Reading a book - free once the book has been purchased
Talking with friends - free

Reading with the light on? WASTEFUL! Talking in the phone to friends? WASTEFUL!!!

Good things for your mental health are - a lovely walk down to the local river to give your clothes a scrub - free and not wasteful! Gathering berries from bushes to eat - free and doesn’t waste any cooking resources. How gross to be sitting with the LIGHTS on reading. Selfish.

Cyw2018 · 19/04/2022 12:52

@Kanaloa

*Wasting water and electricity, both of which are expensive resources, is never a good thing. Good things for your mental health: Going for a lovely long walk - free Reading a book - free once the book has been purchased Talking with friends - free*

Reading with the light on? WASTEFUL! Talking in the phone to friends? WASTEFUL!!!

Good things for your mental health are - a lovely walk down to the local river to give your clothes a scrub - free and not wasteful! Gathering berries from bushes to eat - free and doesn’t waste any cooking resources. How gross to be sitting with the LIGHTS on reading. Selfish.

You forgot the chemicals and energy involved in the bleaching process of the paper, not to mention the trees that are cut down to make it, and the fact that many books are pretty much disposable now (charity shops often won't take them). WASTEFUL!
Choux · 19/04/2022 13:00

I'll be timing my next shower - not for competitive showering, just for interest.

I am a fast showerer though. I expect I am 30 seconds for each section: water heat up, get wet, lather, rinse. So 2 mins for no hair wash / shave days.

When hair washing I'd add 2 x 2 mins for shampoo and rinse then 3 mins for deep conditioner and 2 mins to rinse. So 9 mins for a hair wash but in the 3 mins waiting for conditioner I would wash body and shave so total shower time would only be 10 mins.

I would then get my relaxation fix by having a coffee.

ExplodingElephants · 19/04/2022 13:10

He’s having fun time no doubt 😆 My brother used to be in there for 2 hours sometimes! I feel your pain though.

BreakfastDinnerTea · 19/04/2022 13:11

@RampantIvy

It isn't nonsense *@CarryonCovid*. I am 63. The hot water tank only held so much water and when it was gone it was gone as it was only on twice a day. We didn't have the boiler on all day to keep water hot.

I remember having a cold bath on my wedding day because my sister had used all the hot water.

It's not nonsense for me either. Born in 79 and remember very well what you deserve five about hot water tanks and the immersion.

We had to share water and I hated it, but wasn't much my Mum could do because she really couldn't afford to use the immersion so everyone can have hot baths and showers everyday.

Sitdownplease · 19/04/2022 13:13

@crackingreward

A daily 4 minute shower isn't a hardship FFS

It would be for me. I have no idea how people shower so rapidly. I only do the basics as well so wash hair (no conditioner) and wash body (never shave) there is no way I could do that in 4 mins. I am away to shower now do I'm going to do it as fast as I can and time it Grin

I have shoulder length hair.

Get in shower. Wet hair, shampoo and rinse. 2 minutes. If I condition which I don't do every wash that goes on.

Pick up my loofa/puff thing. Stick shower gel on it. Scrub body top to bottom. Under water. Rinse hair and body. Get out.

5-6 minutes tops.

Funny how we are all so different. I couldn't imagine needing more.

crackingreward · 19/04/2022 13:47

@Sitdownplease

I took it back after timing it Grin

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 19/04/2022 13:52

@ChiefWiggumsBoy

If you have a combi boiler then put a tap on so he gets a cold shock!

Increase his board by £30 at least.

That doesn't make a difference to my shower! It goes slightly cooler but not enough for a shock!
ENoeuf · 19/04/2022 14:28

@crackingreward your posts have really made me laugh.

DieSchottin93 · 19/04/2022 15:50

In second year at uni my flatmate would take 45 minutes to have a shower, it drove me mad Angry Her excuse was that the water pressure was rubbish (top floor flat) and the flat was cold (which were both true statements) so she "had" to spend a long time under the shower, yet I managed to shower in just under 10 minutes Hmm

I have waist length hair and at a push I can wash my hair, face and body in 5 minutes but I'd say I average about 7-8 minutes.

BigYellowTaxiT · 19/04/2022 16:07

I have super long showers as it is the only place I can go that helps when having an autistic meltdown due to noise/being overwhelmed. It is my safe space. I have been known to be in there for an hour before. Water is incredibly soothing to me and I use it to de-stress and manage my autism.

Luckily I live on my own and pay my own bills. I don’t drive my car much, haven’t been on a plane/abroad for years and years, run my dishwasher/washing machine maybe once a week, don’t have a tumble dryer, don’t watch much tv, don’t have kids, generate maybe 1 bin bag of rubbish a week, have reduced my use of plastic, don’t buy clothes unless I really need them etc etc etc so I’m okay with having long showers and I don’t give a fuck what people say or think.

avocadotofu · 19/04/2022 16:25

I think there must be a middle ground between your 5 minute showers and his. Personally I couldn't shower in 5 minutes. I think it usually takes me between 10-15 minutes. I think I'd just ask him for the extra money as the shower is clearly important to him.

RampantIvy · 19/04/2022 16:29

I have super long showers as it is the only place I can go that helps when having an autistic meltdown due to noise/being overwhelmed. It is my safe space. I have been known to be in there for an hour before. Water is incredibly soothing to me and I use it to de-stress and manage my autism.

Would not having a bath provide the same respite?

BigYellowTaxiT · 19/04/2022 16:39

@RampantIvy

I have super long showers as it is the only place I can go that helps when having an autistic meltdown due to noise/being overwhelmed. It is my safe space. I have been known to be in there for an hour before. Water is incredibly soothing to me and I use it to de-stress and manage my autism.

Would not having a bath provide the same respite?

Not really for 2 reasons. 1. I’m fat so difficult to submerge myself in the bath and 2. Part of it is putting my head under the hot water in the shower.

I do go swimming a lot and use the showers there but it can be a struggle as it’s always busy/full of people/noise. I am hoping to be able to negotiate flexible working when I start a new role in August, so I can go swimming in the day when it’s quieter and make up working hours in the evening and at weekends.

HopingForMyRainbowBaby · 19/04/2022 17:05

As another poster put yesterday. He's probably giving it a 'good rub'

amusedbush · 19/04/2022 17:30

5 minutes is really fast! I don't spend a minute longer than I have to in the shower so I'm not just standing there considering my mortality but it takes me 10 minutes do everything I need to - maybe 15 if I'm shaving my legs and armpits.

Kanaloa · 19/04/2022 17:57

You forgot the chemicals and energy involved in the bleaching process of the paper, not to mention the trees that are cut down to make it, and the fact that many books are pretty much disposable now (charity shops often won't take them). WASTEFUL!

Well of course I never waste anything myself. I only read books scratched into tablet by the light of the sun. And all my food is home grown of course. We do shower when it rains just for cleanliness. Obviously we collect the rainwater after we’ve washed to water the crops. Otherwise it’s wasteful of course.

ENoeuf · 19/04/2022 18:58

So weird the insistence the ops son is wanking.

Reigateforever · 19/04/2022 19:12

I don’t understand two points, when shampooing/soaping or shaving, do people keep the shower running? Otherwise the soap runs off immediately and more is needed to get a lather. It’s the same when brushing teeth or flossing, the tap is off until the rinse, isn’t it?

DoggoShark · 19/04/2022 19:19

So weird the insistence the ops son is wanking.

Very weird. It’s a bit creepy really.

Omega33 · 19/04/2022 20:01

@user1477391263

You don't need a constantly running shower to shave your legs---shower briefly and fill a small container of water. Stop, soap up your legs and shave, dipping your razor in the container every few strokes to clean it. Then hose off with the shower at the end.

Hair, similar. Shower briefly and stop to work shampoo/conditioner through your hair, then turn the shower back on to rinse.

Some of you lot need to try living in a place without endless water supplies.

I have relatives in Cape Town, where showers were limited to 2 mins running water during droughts. When staying with them, I had 2 minute stop-start showers.

But I don't live in a place without endless water supplies, so why would I pretend I did? When in England I also don't sit in the dark all evening to emulate the regular power cuts they have there, even though I "don't need" to be able to read after sunset.

RampantIvy · 19/04/2022 20:06

I can't shave my legs with the shower on because the water would wash away the soap. I turn it off to shave, then turn it back on.

Greyhare · 19/04/2022 20:38

@Reigateforever

I don’t understand two points, when shampooing/soaping or shaving, do people keep the shower running? Otherwise the soap runs off immediately and more is needed to get a lather. It’s the same when brushing teeth or flossing, the tap is off until the rinse, isn’t it?
My shower is over the bath so I step forward so water hits my back as I shave my legs, of course you turn the tap off when brushing teeth as you don't hold your face under the tap.
PinkSparklyPussyCat · 19/04/2022 21:32

My shower is over the bath so I step forward so water hits my back as I shave my legs, of course you turn the tap off when brushing teeth as you don't hold your face under the tap.

We've got a shower cubicle but it's big enough that I can move so the water doesn't run down my legs. It's the same when I'm shampooing my hair, I soak my hair and lean forward to shampoo.