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Original poster

DS spending far too long in the shower every single day

204 replies

goaskmum · 18/04/2022 22:21

With rising living costs I am concerned about the length of time my DS spends in the shower everyday, usually he spends about 15-20 minutes in it which imo is far too long, funny how me and the rest of our household are in and out within 5 minutes!

I have asked DS several times to reduce the time he spends in the shower and he does nothing about it, he shows a complete disregard to the increasing living costs.

This is more a WWYD - I have said to him that if he wants to spend that length of time in the shower he is going to have to contribute to the gas costs every month as I can’t keep up with it all , I am also considering switching off the boiler when the 5 minute mark passes.

I don’t really know how else I can deal with his selfishness!

OP posts:
Kanaloa · 19/04/2022 03:19

@ENoeuf

And 20 minutes sounds utterly wasteful. So good job both of us are in different households 😂
No argument here, thank God we’re in different households. If I had to endure timed 4 minute showers and fury at going over I think I’d just do a crime and try to get into prison for a bit of luxury.
Sandinyourshoes · 19/04/2022 03:19

Maybe suggest showering every 2nd day? I can’t seem to shower in under 15 min and my hair being longer takes a while to rinse. I don’t even use conditioner, always switch it off while shaving. Still 15 min!
Re the smart meter, you need to have an in home display that actually works and has the right tariffs, although we have a smart meter our IHD doesn’t work and the company doesn’t replace them as they go out of date.

LBFseBrom · 19/04/2022 03:59

@CJsGoldfish

Not something I could get upset over 🙄

What does the extra cost add up to? Does every one else monitor their water usage? ie, rinsing that cup for a minute too long, running the water whilst it heats up etc?

Oh, and if someone turned off the boiler while I would be so unimpressed. Petty and nasty.

No they don't, Goldfish. I would never do that. If I had to economise I would do so in other ways but never limit the amount of hot water used for personal hygiene. I grew up with that and it was awful, I decided hot water was something I and my family would never be short of.

Presumably a 22 year old pays something towards the household costs (unless he is a student), in which case he is entitled to shower as he sees fit. 15-20 minutes is not long but, really. you should not be taking note of it. He won't be living with you for much longer, make sure his memories of home are happy ones and not stingy.

WeValueYourPrivacy · 19/04/2022 04:15

Teach him the ways of Wim Hoff.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 19/04/2022 04:25

22?

I hope he's already contributing! Turn it off after 5 mins or suggest he moves out...

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 19/04/2022 04:27

@CJsGoldfish I monitor my electric shower usage! Mine uses 7kw per hour. So at that rate he'd be using at least 2.5kw which is just unnecessary. It doesn't take more than 5 mins to have a shower.

oakleaffy · 19/04/2022 04:35

@Mummumtum

He’s probably having a wank
My first thought too. 20 mins?! That’s wank territory.
oakleaffy · 19/04/2022 04:42

@ZealAndArdour

20 min wank?!

He’s probably put off by his mum stood outside the bathroom door telling him to hurry up.

Haaaaha! Superb 😂
LegMeChicken · 19/04/2022 04:48

How long does the shower run for??
I take 15+ minutes to shower, but it’s only on for a couple of minutes.
DP OTOH takes 10 minutes with the shower on for that entire time. He uses more than me!

BarbaraofSeville · 19/04/2022 04:50

@Choux

According to this page a 20 minute shower costs about 68p in water and energy. So put his board up by £20 a month and it should be covered.

www.omnicalculator.com/everyday-life/shower-cost

But that's based on 12p/unit which, unless someone is on an old fix, won't be paying.

Our shower is 10.8 kWh electric, which means a 20 minute shower costs more like £1. For households with electric showers, it will significantly add to their monthly bill, eg if 4 people each have a 10 minute shower each day, that's £60 a month, just on showering.

But the OP says her shower water is gas heated, which probably doesn't cost as much, but I don't know how much it is.

OP if you don't have a smart meter, it might be worth getting one so you can show him how much this costs. But definitely increase his board by a few quid a week to make the point. I bet he won't do this when he moves out and pays his own bills and is yet another reason why it's a complete myth that people his age are all environmentally conscious and blame their parents generation for killing the planet.

People in their 40s and 50s are far less likely to be so profligate with hot water because we grew up with very restricted hot water and parents who lived in fear of the immersion heater being left on.

LegMeChicken · 19/04/2022 04:51

[quote RussianSpy101]@Reigateforever you turn off the shower whilst you’re in to wash? You have got to be taking the piss.[/quote]
You only need enough water to lather, once you’ve done that, and gotten soap all over you wash it all off.

mathanxiety · 19/04/2022 05:06

Four minutes for a shower? It takes that long to get my hair wet, and that's with a power shower. People with straight hair don't know they're born.

KnackeredNurse · 19/04/2022 05:22

15-20 minutes is about my normal too Grin I just timed by morning shower and it was 13 minutes. That was without washing my hair though because I did that last night. There's no way I could shampoo, condition, face scrub, shave, and wash all in the space of 5 minutes Shock

KnackeredNurse · 19/04/2022 05:23

@mathanxiety

Four minutes for a shower? It takes that long to get my hair wet, and that's with a power shower. People with straight hair don't know they're born.
This. I have curly hair too and it takes me a full 5 minutes just to wash the conditioner out!
PinkSyCo · 19/04/2022 05:27

About 6 months ago my 22 year old DS started having daily baths rather than his usual ultra speedy 3/4 minute showers. When the utility bills went up I told him he would either need to go back to showering or I would have to put his board up. He understood and had gone back to showering AND offered me an extra £5O per month. Your DS should be adult enough to understand the situation too.

PinkSyCo · 19/04/2022 05:33

Four minutes for a shower? It takes that long to get my hair wet, and that's with a power shower. People with straight hair don't know they're born.

Really? It takes me about a minute to get my thick, long, curly hair wet. Confused

Wife2b · 19/04/2022 05:37

Turning the shower off midway does not sound at all relaxing. Neither does timed showers, 4 minutes Hmm think I’ll stick to my 10-15 minute showers thanks. Love a nice hot shower at the end of a stressful day, I wonder what the equivalent is of X minutes as opposed to filling up a bath. Anyone know?

oakleaffy · 19/04/2022 05:41

@mathanxiety

Four minutes for a shower? It takes that long to get my hair wet, and that's with a power shower. People with straight hair don't know they're born.
An actual hair wash/rinse does take longer, for sure. I think it depends on water pressure, too...Some showers are ''Wetter'' than others, and a water softener makes a difference, too.

A shower at a workplace was feeble, literally a tepid trickle.

blubberball · 19/04/2022 05:47

I have the opposite problem in that I struggle to get my 14yo DS in the shower at all.

Work out how much the showers cost and charge him accordingly.

nonevernotever · 19/04/2022 05:48

I'm in the five minute camp -seven minutes max for all the reasons stated already. One I haven't seen mentioned is that our power shower instruction booklet says that you shouldn't run it for more than 15 minutes in any 60 minute period. We have previously burnt out the motor when people used it for too long at a time, and the plumber confirmed that it was relatively common if it was running repeatedly for lengthy periods.

OfstedOffred · 19/04/2022 05:56

Maybe this is the case for your son, but not the rest of your family. When I was at home my parents would shut the hot water off when they deemed I'd been in the shower for too long (they thought it was a hilarious thing to do), despite there being no financial issues (DF earning 6 figure salary 25 years ago). I found it distressing and cruel, and remember it vividly.*

You could have just moved out and paid your own way, then you can spend as long as you want in the shower.

User7493268965 · 19/04/2022 06:02

DS used to when he was about 16, I just said that I would charge him the extra, a bit like reverse paying for chores, he soon stopped

User7493268965 · 19/04/2022 06:04

A gas run shower though is nowhere near as expensive as a 10 kWh electric shower

LegMeChicken · 19/04/2022 06:07

@Wife2b

Turning the shower off midway does not sound at all relaxing. Neither does timed showers, 4 minutes Hmm think I’ll stick to my 10-15 minute showers thanks. Love a nice hot shower at the end of a stressful day, I wonder what the equivalent is of X minutes as opposed to filling up a bath. Anyone know?
I don’t shower to relax… I hate being in water! You can find out by timing how long it takes to fill your bath…
User7493268965 · 19/04/2022 06:11

I only shower for necessity so can't really see the point of being in there for enjoyment, especially when I'm paying for it so probably about 4 minutes for me at most