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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

30 miles for a duvet

150 replies

kennelmaid · 06/04/2022 21:32

Sorry, this is quite tedious!

Our duvet and pillows got accidentally damaged and we had to replace them quickly. DH insisted he needed a 15tog king size duvet and two pillows. Highest tog at Tesco nearby was 13.5. Not good enough. Only alternative was the Range which had 15 tog King size but was 30 mile round trip.

So we drove there tonight, I just got inside before closing and managed to get the last 15 tog king size in the shop (£39.99 expensive, right?). Result. Also instead of getting two pillows I just got one very thick one which has four removable layers, a reasonable compromise I thought. He was waiting in the car outside.

Not good enough. He was annoyed that I'd paid nearly £40 for a duvet and insisted that I have to go to buy another pillow tomorrow and won't even try the thick one I bought.

I had to laugh at this and he asked me what I was laughing at. I said I thought he was being a bit precious and demanding (he has lots of previous form for this).

He's now not speaking to me and is sitting in the other room.

Well, was I unreasonable to pay £40 for a duvet and only to get one thick pillow when he'd asked for two?

OP posts:
TheSmallAssassin · 06/04/2022 21:34

15 tog! I would boil alive.

Sorry, not helpful!

newbiename · 06/04/2022 21:35

I think £40 is quite cheap for a king size duvet. Send him next time.

TheSmallAssassin · 06/04/2022 21:36

If he was the one who cared so much, why didn't he go into the shop and do the choosing?

YellowAndGreenToBeSeen · 06/04/2022 21:36

£40 is very inexpensive for a duvet. I couldn’t sleep with one pillow so YABU on that score.

Easterisoffeggstooexpensive · 06/04/2022 21:36

Surely he is a big enough boy to go buy his own friggin pillow?

dementedpixie · 06/04/2022 21:36

Argos often sells 15tog. Do you have one of them nearby? You can do click and collect

15tog would be too hot for me. We stick to a max of 10.5tog

Ganhame1 · 06/04/2022 21:36

£40 for a King Duvet sounds like a bargain

YellowAndGreenToBeSeen · 06/04/2022 21:37

(But yes - send the grumpy bastard to the shop)

BurscoughBooths · 06/04/2022 21:37

How does one thick pillow work with 2 people in the bed?

Iknowacrackingowlsanctuary · 06/04/2022 21:37

I'd smother him with the bloody thing

TheMullerLightOwl · 06/04/2022 21:37

If DH was the fussy one who demanded the 30 mile round trip for his special duvet, why on earth did he stay in the car whilst you went in to choose and buy it??

autumnboys · 06/04/2022 21:38

He looked up the tog rating but not the price?

fallfallfall · 06/04/2022 21:38

duvet price is fine, one pillow not two? that doesn't work.

bellac11 · 06/04/2022 21:39

40 quid is cheap for a duvet

If the plan was to buy 2 pillows and then you went and bought only one, then you made a mistake.

However you werent right to laugh at him but he isnt right to be sulking for you laughing at him.

We got all over the place for things if Ive got it into my head that I want something so I dont think the distance is an issue.

oknowimscared · 06/04/2022 21:40

I hope he isn’t as controlling as he sounds. Send him to sort out his very particular needs in future.

AppleKatie · 06/04/2022 21:40

Yabothbu

So many questions-
If he wants it why are you being sent in the shop?
If he wants it, drove you to the shop and then couldn’t be arsed to get out the car and sent you in why is he moaning about the (pretty standard) price?
If you go through all that rigmarole presumably willingly and know he’s a princess about this stuff why buy him a pillow he likely won’t like?

RealRaymondReddington · 06/04/2022 21:40

I would've bought it and not said what tog it was. If he is that fussy he can get the different pillow himself. Also, Sainsburys do the best duvets of anywhere.

FiveForAPound · 06/04/2022 21:40

@TheMullerLightOwl

If DH was the fussy one who demanded the 30 mile round trip for his special duvet, why on earth did he stay in the car whilst you went in to choose and buy it??

Yes, it's madness! He cares so much about the duvet but didn't get out of the car!

YoYoYoYoSup · 06/04/2022 21:41

Why didn't he go in?! Makes no sense. He wanted this specific duvet and was happy with going 30 miles to the range. Then you went in on your own?! Weird.

thenightsky · 06/04/2022 21:41

If he was so precise about what he needed/wanted, then he should have gone into the shop. £40 for a king size duvet is a bargain.

I'm confused about why you thought one pillow for 2 people would be ok though.

SavoyCabbage · 06/04/2022 21:41

How much did he think it was going to be?

Original poster
kennelmaid · 06/04/2022 21:42

We have separate bedrooms, that's why the duvet is just for him.

I know what you're going to say - separate bedrooms means we have bigger problems than a 15 tog duvet and one pillow.

OP posts:
bellac11 · 06/04/2022 21:46

Nothing wrong with separate bedrooms.

raspberrymuffin · 06/04/2022 21:47

1 thick pillow wouldn't do it for me, I like to arrange one pillow slightly skewiff in order to facilitate reading on my phone while lying down. But that's why I'd never leave DH to buy me pillows - I always choose my own, after many hours minutes of squashing. Also, £40 is a very reasonable price for a king size duvet,

QuillBill · 06/04/2022 21:49

What do you mean 'one very thick pillow with four removable layers'? Like four really thin pillows that make one thick pillow?