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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

30 miles for a duvet

150 replies

kennelmaid · 06/04/2022 21:32

Sorry, this is quite tedious!

Our duvet and pillows got accidentally damaged and we had to replace them quickly. DH insisted he needed a 15tog king size duvet and two pillows. Highest tog at Tesco nearby was 13.5. Not good enough. Only alternative was the Range which had 15 tog King size but was 30 mile round trip.

So we drove there tonight, I just got inside before closing and managed to get the last 15 tog king size in the shop (£39.99 expensive, right?). Result. Also instead of getting two pillows I just got one very thick one which has four removable layers, a reasonable compromise I thought. He was waiting in the car outside.

Not good enough. He was annoyed that I'd paid nearly £40 for a duvet and insisted that I have to go to buy another pillow tomorrow and won't even try the thick one I bought.

I had to laugh at this and he asked me what I was laughing at. I said I thought he was being a bit precious and demanding (he has lots of previous form for this).

He's now not speaking to me and is sitting in the other room.

Well, was I unreasonable to pay £40 for a duvet and only to get one thick pillow when he'd asked for two?

OP posts:

sandgrown · 07/04/2022 07:07

@bellac11 of course she should laugh at him . He was being a clown with his ridiculous demands . If he wanted a specific thing he should have sourced and paid for it himself !

TimetoPour · 07/04/2022 07:21

Blimey. Mine would be looking for a new home rather than a duvet and pillow if he behaved like that.

I’m pretty sure we paid around £200 for our last duvet so £40 is a bargain and if he wants to be fussy about his pillows then he should stop being a baby and pick it himself.

NewPapaGuinea · 07/04/2022 07:47

He was embarrassed by wearing a hi-viz jacket? Is it glued to his back so he can’t take it off?

ChoiceMummy · 07/04/2022 07:57

@kennelmaid

Yes, four layers inside one cover so that you can vary the thickness to your own specifications

These 4 in 1 pillows are not the same as having multiple pillows, imo.

However, if he cannot possibly shop for his own pillows because of a hi-viz vest, then he needs to sort the issue himself.
The fact that it was a 30 miles round trip is irrelevant and sounds preferable to what my trip would have been!

stimpyyouidiot · 07/04/2022 08:24

Oh op if you're in separate bedrooms it's entirely not your problem what kind of duvet he has. What a knob he is! Can't believe you went and got it for him and then listened to him complain about it!

CSIblonde · 07/04/2022 08:51

Surely it would have been way cheaper & less hassle to get one online? Amazon, Argos, eBay all have brand new cheap duvets of every Tog. Life's too short to go 30 miles for a sodding duvet!

BarbaraofSeville · 07/04/2022 09:22

You were unreasonable for going into the shop to buy bedding for a bed you don't even sleep in, especially when previous evidence indicates that he is likely to pick fault with whatever you bought.

Let him choose his own bedding, then he makes his own decisions about what type and how much it costs. Or he does without or uses that which was 'accidentally damaged'.

Scarlettpixie · 07/04/2022 09:30

The duvet sounds fine. Yabu for buying one weird pillow. He is bu for going to a shop in a coat he is embarrassed to go in a shop in an then moaning about what you bought (although if my OH went to get me two pillows I wouldn’t be happy with one and it would be unexpected).

Herejustforthisone · 07/04/2022 09:41

15 tog is a heinous thought. I have 10 in the winter and I boil. It’s spring! I’m getting ready to put my 4 tog on.

Also, I think that’s pretty cheap for a duvet. Especially a whopping great one like that, it’ll be like sleeping under a mattress.

LoveSpringDaffs · 07/04/2022 10:09

[quote me4real]@LoveSpringDaffs Not if OP pled diminished responsibility on the grounds of him being such a twat he drove her to insanity.[/quote]
@me4real

I don't think my post conveyed my 'tone' 🤣😂. I had meant she should do it on purpose!!😂

But yeah I'd defend her to the hilt on diminished responsibility due to years of twattery!!

LoveSpringDaffs · 07/04/2022 10:13

@PriamFarrl

I assume the jacket is removable

That's quite an assumption young lady!!

He might be like the very old action man where the 'clothes' were part of the body not removable. We really shouldn't assume he's an adult human make with removable outer clothing!

No OP... I feel quite possibly there was no accidental duvet damage or 1950's behaviour?!?!

BadLad · 07/04/2022 10:24

Was he naked underneath the jacket?

thebabessavedme · 07/04/2022 10:30

ohh naked underneath the jacket, there is a builder up the road who would suit this look very well wouldn't give a fuck about his tog count though

ChipButtyCurrySauce · 07/04/2022 10:35

@HumourReplacementTherapy

Did he shit the bed?

As well as the carpet, the sofa........

First thing I thought of too!!

threecupsofteaminimum · 07/04/2022 12:17

Who gives a flying fuck what he's wearing, I'd tell him to buy his own stuff the lazy cunt.

UnshakenNeedsStirring · 07/04/2022 16:54

40 quid is really cheap for a duvet. Why would you buy 1 thick pillow? Id be sweating under a 15 tog duvet and a thick pillow

NeverDropYourMooncup · 07/04/2022 17:33

I want to know how he accidentally damaged the duvet and pillows.

And if this is your DH...

Other than that, he needs to get onto Amazon to buy his nesting materials.

LubaLuca · 07/04/2022 18:59

I'm interested in the damage done as well. It's either a dropped cigarette in the bed (he needs to be careful in the unremovable hi-viz 🔥) or yeah, he had a massive shits incident.

RachelGreeneGreep · 07/04/2022 19:06

@IDontDrinkTea

I don’t understand why he couldn’t go in with the jacket on. Unless you’re telling us he was only wearing a hi vis, and was otherwise as naked as a whistle?!

'Naked as a whistle' made me lol!

WildBlueAndDitzy · 07/04/2022 19:12

@kennelmaid

We have separate bedrooms, that's why the duvet is just for him.

I know what you're going to say - separate bedrooms means we have bigger problems than a 15 tog duvet and one pillow.

Not at all. Separate bedrooms sounds like a step in the right direction if you're married to a controlling arse separate homes and lives would be even better

£40 for a duvet is reasonable. I assume they either didn't have two pillows in stock or the cost took you over budget, so that's why you got one extra thick one?

I won't ask why he's ordering you about - drive me there, go fetch this, no compromise like two thinner duvets or an extra blanket - when you don't even sleep under the blooming duvet in question! Treating you like staff and berating you when you inevitably fail to meet his exacting and totally unreasonable standards because it's obvious he's a git and I suspect you already know it

The silent treatment - fucking man-child. At least he's doing it in another room so you can totally ignore him and his sulking!

WildBlueAndDitzy · 07/04/2022 19:23

You did well to laugh at him actually. I'd have told him to fuck off. He'll not get one on Amazon or whatever because that doesn't give him the opportunity to make you do a long pointless journey to buy something you personally don't want or need, or the opportunity to weakly, with a pathetic excuse engineer a situation where you go into the shop alone for the express purpose of him being able to complain about whatever you bought. It could have cost 1p and been a gold plated duvet OP, he'd only have moaned about it being too hard or too shiny.

Bagelsandbrie · 07/04/2022 19:27

Surely if he was THAT bothered he should have gone into the shop - hi viz if necessary- and chosen his own sodding bedding?! Or at the very least checked it when you came back to the car rather than let you get all the way home and then moan?

He sounds like a right laugh. Is he available for parties and special events?

Bagelsandbrie · 07/04/2022 19:28

Wondering if this is the other half who spectacularly shat all over the house in the other thread yesterday…!

Newestname002 · 07/04/2022 22:35

Why on Earth would you put up with this, @kennelmaid?

This idiot is demanding you jump, and you say "how high"?

Let him sort his own stuff out next time - assuming, with hi viz clothing in mind, that he is a grown up.

Also great that he has his own bedroom - one step in the right direction if this is generally the way he behaves... 🌹

cocktailclub · 07/04/2022 22:40

Why didn't you look on Amazon ?

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