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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

30 miles for a duvet

150 replies

kennelmaid · 06/04/2022 21:32

Sorry, this is quite tedious!

Our duvet and pillows got accidentally damaged and we had to replace them quickly. DH insisted he needed a 15tog king size duvet and two pillows. Highest tog at Tesco nearby was 13.5. Not good enough. Only alternative was the Range which had 15 tog King size but was 30 mile round trip.

So we drove there tonight, I just got inside before closing and managed to get the last 15 tog king size in the shop (£39.99 expensive, right?). Result. Also instead of getting two pillows I just got one very thick one which has four removable layers, a reasonable compromise I thought. He was waiting in the car outside.

Not good enough. He was annoyed that I'd paid nearly £40 for a duvet and insisted that I have to go to buy another pillow tomorrow and won't even try the thick one I bought.

I had to laugh at this and he asked me what I was laughing at. I said I thought he was being a bit precious and demanding (he has lots of previous form for this).

He's now not speaking to me and is sitting in the other room.

Well, was I unreasonable to pay £40 for a duvet and only to get one thick pillow when he'd asked for two?

OP posts:

Sswhinesthebest · 07/04/2022 00:12

I can’t comment on anything other than - I must go to the range to get this miraculous pillow. I can never get my thickness right. How much was it?

UnGoogleable · 07/04/2022 00:23

He made you drive further to get the one he wanted, then sat in the car while you went into the shop to get it?

Because he was embarrassed about his jacket? IN THE RANGE?

Yeah, he's being a dick head. Tell him if he doesn't like his pillow he can sleep outside in his high viz

steff13 · 07/04/2022 00:23

As with most other things in life, if you ask someone to do you a favor, you can't complain if they don't do it exactly the way you want. Assuming his jacket can be removed from his body, I can't see how that was a barrier to him going into the store.

VanGoghsDog · 07/04/2022 00:30

The thirty miles bit is entirely dependant on where you live - there's no shops like that within ten miles of me so at a minimum I'd have to do twenty, and probably more if I was looking for something specific.

If however you live in the middle of a huge city with loads of shops and he got the hump and would only buy this one thing, then, yes, the trip was unreasonable.

As for the rest.......

QuidditchSwitch · 07/04/2022 00:34

Well he wasted about £8 of petrol to go to the shop!

Redsquirrel5 · 07/04/2022 00:40

No one in The Range near me would bat an eyelid at someone in a high viz jacket ...unless it said POLICE on it!🤣.

I would just leave him to sulk like the child that he is. I hope you didn’t make the bed for him.

LBFseBrom · 07/04/2022 00:51

Husband was being particularly churlish about his duvet, especially after you went to such effort to get him what he wanted.

Next time look on Amazon and have next day delivery, it's easy. I imagine Tesco do the same as do Argos and most places. You can make do for one night, pile a few old coats on the bed, dressing gowns or anything else you can find, it won't kill you for a night.

RustyShackleford3 · 07/04/2022 00:51

For someone who is very fussy about duvets, £40 is surely cheap? I've not lived in the UK for a few years but I think the only duvets cheaper than this would be those cheapo supermarket ones. Nothing wrong with them, of course. That's what I had. But then I'm not fussy enough to drive 30 miles for an extra 1.5 togs...

RachelGreeneGreep · 07/04/2022 00:58

He sounds like a gobshite. If it was so important to him, that he is now sulking about it he should have gone into the shop and bought what he wanted.

Glad to hear you have separate bedrooms!

SiobhanSharpe · 07/04/2022 01:01

You're telling us your DH is not only very fussy particular, he's also tight as well as sulky. So attractive.
Fifty quid for a king-size duvet is not outrageously expensive. (I daren't say what I pay for our down pillows and duvets. But they are wonderful. So light but really warm.)

AuntTwacky · 07/04/2022 01:02

Why 15 tog? Way too hot

MyDcAreMarvel · 07/04/2022 01:29

I don’t know where you are all buying your duvets from but £40 is not cheap!

Forgottenmypasswordagain · 07/04/2022 01:50

@kennelmaid
Well, was I unreasonable to pay £40 for a duvet No.
and only to get one thick pillow when he'd asked for two? Yes

avamiah · 07/04/2022 01:52

I’m sorry but he sounds very unreasonable and that’s me being nice.

I’ve been posting on here for years so I’m not going to say that he sounds like a F—king looney and should go and buy his own duvet and pillows as i don’t want to offend anybody and get kicked of MN .

ABitDrunk · 07/04/2022 01:54

@Bornsloppy

"I would drive 30 miles, and I would drive 30 more, to be the wife who bought a duvet...."

Nice one.

ABitDrunk · 07/04/2022 02:04

I really do think that £40 is suspiciously inexpensive for any size duvet, let alone a 15 tog.

It's rather endearing that he sat helpless in the car wearing his hi viz jacket. I can just picture him sitting in the parking lot, highly visible, highly concerned that you were going to err in your purchases. You did not let him down.

IDontDrinkTea · 07/04/2022 02:12

I don’t understand why he couldn’t go in with the jacket on. Unless you’re telling us he was only wearing a hi vis, and was otherwise as naked as a whistle?!

FictionalCharacter · 07/04/2022 02:40

@kennelmaid

Why didn't he go in the shop and choose his own? Because he was wearing a hi viz jacket and he would be embarrassed

A non-removable high vis? That sounds a lot like an excuse for staying in the car while you buy his stuff.

OutingHobby · 07/04/2022 06:22

@Bornsloppy

"I would drive 30 miles, and I would drive 30 more, to be the wife who bought a duvet...."

Nice!

Aprilx · 07/04/2022 06:27

A 15 tog is pretty unusual but 15 miles is not a long trip, I don’t understand why he did that and then sat in the car when it was his duvet. You paid a very reasonable price, I doubt you could have got that much cheaper. One pillow would not work for me and I cannot visualise this layered pillow.

ExplodingElephants · 07/04/2022 06:29

I think sleeping with one pillow is fine but I paid £90 for mine so it’s as thick as two pillows and retains its shape. I doubt one from B&M would do the same (sorry). However, I think you’re both being unreasonable. Him for not coming in the shop when he had specific requirements and you for picking up the wrong thing.

Heyisforhorses · 07/04/2022 06:30

The journey and price are secondary.

His behaviour is shocking. Why did you go with him, he could have taken hiviz off before leaving the house? You have to get a different pillow? No, he has to get a different pillow. All his problems not yours. He sounds vwry demanding

liveforsummer · 07/04/2022 06:40

The pillow sounds annoying plus surely for a double or king bed you need 2 to lie beside each other anyway. I have 6 on mine - 3 each side. Having said that if he wanted something specific he should have taken off his jacket and gone in. £40 is cheap for a 15 tog king size.

NewPapaGuinea · 07/04/2022 06:44

If you knew the Range did 15 tog, how come you didn’t know the cost beforehand?

UniversalAunt · 07/04/2022 06:55

£40 for duvet is reasonable.
Pillow sulk is unreasonable.

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