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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Partner cheating

137 replies

Ellie19881 · 19/03/2022 21:49

My partner is at the pub with friends tonight watching the rugby. I’m not a jealous person so this was fine, sport is not my thing. I’ve just received a WhatsApp from a friend telling me that my partner is cheating. It’s someone who has no reason to lie. I’ve gone into full rage mode! What the actual fuck!

OP posts:
Original poster
Ellie19881 · 19/03/2022 21:51

I’ve just gone to bed and locked the front door. He can sleep in the garden. I have had my suspicions about this woman before and now this!

OP posts:
PurpleFlower1983 · 19/03/2022 21:51

What evidence do they have? Have you ever suspected something like this? Does he have form?

Faevern · 19/03/2022 21:52

Have they sent you evidence or just some accusation?

WeDontShutUpAboutBruno · 19/03/2022 21:52

I'm so sorry, it was a bit rubbish of your friend to WhatsApp such life changing information to you rather than call.

Have they said how they know? Did you suspect anyway and this has confirmed it? Have you called him?

Hope you're OK op Flowers

Nothappyatwork · 19/03/2022 21:54

Why would anybody send you a text like that ?
I’ve previously known at least two of my friends husbands have been cheating and I wouldn’t dream of sending their wives text like that on a Saturday night, if I was going to let them know I’d be sitting down with them over a coffee.

GreenClock · 19/03/2022 21:55

Have you spoken to the sender?

GrazingSheep · 19/03/2022 21:55

Have you children?

Original poster
Ellie19881 · 19/03/2022 21:58

The sender was married to the woman in question, and has just said ‘I thought you should know’

OP posts:
Sparklesocks · 19/03/2022 21:58

What do they mean? They are in the pub and they can see him with someone else? Or they know him to be cheating because of something else?

BoldMove · 19/03/2022 22:02

I think I'd also want some evidence tbh OP. Is it worth you ringing the person who whatsapped you? They may be might have a hidden agenda or come by the info from a third party who has an axe to grind against you or your dh?

Nothappyatwork · 19/03/2022 22:03

Was married? No agenda of axe to grind there then

Original poster
Ellie19881 · 19/03/2022 22:04

I don’t think the person who text me has much reason to lie. We’re friends through the previous relationships. All her text said was ‘I think you should know that your DP is sleeping with (insert other woman’s name). I don’t wish to hurt you but think you should know the truth’

OP posts:
Sparklesocks · 19/03/2022 22:07

So the sender is a woman who was married to this woman?

Original poster
Ellie19881 · 19/03/2022 22:08

@Sparklesocks yes.

OP posts:
GrazingSheep · 19/03/2022 22:09

Do you believe her?

BoldMove · 19/03/2022 22:10

Just ring her OP. You need more info. Was it a one off, how long etc.

BoldMove · 19/03/2022 22:11

For your own sanity not for mn.

Original poster
Ellie19881 · 19/03/2022 22:16

I can’t see any reason that she (the person who text me) would lie about this. The ‘other woman’ has form for sleeping with other people (men and women), that’s why her and her ex divorced

OP posts:
Original poster
Ellie19881 · 19/03/2022 22:18

I will call her now. FML I feel like I’m in a Jeremy Kyle scenario which is not how I want to live my life!!

OP posts:
AwayInMyMind · 19/03/2022 22:19

Keep that door locked.

Lou98 · 19/03/2022 22:22

How would she know they're sleeping together? I doubt he's having sex with her on a table in the middle of the pub.

Are you sure they're not just sitting together talking and your friend has put 2 and 2 together if the woman is her ex and has form for cheating?

Just because their relationship ended due to cheating doesn't make your Partner a cheat - I wouldn't be taking gossip as fact without talking to him or proof

squishyegg · 19/03/2022 22:24

Oh dear... I'd get all facts correct first before doing anything rash

OrlandointheWilderness · 19/03/2022 22:25

I really really hope that this has no basis in fact. I'm so sorry

Ilovepotato · 19/03/2022 22:28

Hope you get some answers OP!

Returnoftheowl · 19/03/2022 22:48

@Lou98

How would she know they're sleeping together? I doubt he's having sex with her on a table in the middle of the pub.

Are you sure they're not just sitting together talking and your friend has put 2 and 2 together if the woman is her ex and has form for cheating?

Just because their relationship ended due to cheating doesn't make your Partner a cheat - I wouldn't be taking gossip as fact without talking to him or proof

I agree with this. You need some facts and information before you go charging in.