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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Partner cheating

137 replies

Ellie19881 · 19/03/2022 21:49

My partner is at the pub with friends tonight watching the rugby. I’m not a jealous person so this was fine, sport is not my thing. I’ve just received a WhatsApp from a friend telling me that my partner is cheating. It’s someone who has no reason to lie. I’ve gone into full rage mode! What the actual fuck!

OP posts:
Original poster
Ellie19881 · 19/03/2022 22:50

So I’ve calmed down a bit now! I think this text just set me off, and I’m trying to be rational. However DP has now just text me saying he’s going to stay out tonight as it’s ‘going to be a late one’

OP posts:
cstx89 · 19/03/2022 22:52

Could u message him and say "ive had some distressing news and I need u home to discuss?"

cuno · 19/03/2022 22:54

God, what a nightmare. Was any further explanation given by the sender? How does she know?

AramintaLee · 19/03/2022 22:55

Yeah I would certainly probe a bit more. The sender of the message might have an agenda... or might truly believe her ex is cheating with you DP but perhaps is basing this on seeing them talking/flirting. People have been known to jump to conclusions. I know I've done it in the past.

Take a breath and see if you can speak to your DP or the sender of the message calmly.

Lou98 · 19/03/2022 22:56

@Ellie19881

So I’ve calmed down a bit now! I think this text just set me off, and I’m trying to be rational. However DP has now just text me saying he’s going to stay out tonight as it’s ‘going to be a late one’

What did your friend say when you phoned her?

Phone your Husband and ask him to come home, tell him you've heard something you want to discuss.

Does he usually stay out if he's been drinking or is it out the blue for him?
My Partner does stay out sometimes if he's out with his friends, he usually lets me know and I don't mind, I do it aswell but if it's not something he's done before I can see that it would add to the worry after the text

Whatthefuck3456 · 19/03/2022 22:56

Send him the message and tell him if he’s not back asap and telling you what’s going on. He’s best to stay out tonight and every night for the foreseeable with all his belongings!

Original poster
Ellie19881 · 19/03/2022 22:59

I’m going to go to bed and try to calm down and gather myself. I’m not usually a jealous person so this has knocked me a bit!

OP posts:
Whatthefuck3456 · 19/03/2022 23:00

Take care of yourself OP

BoldMove · 19/03/2022 23:01

Thats bad timing for staying out late. I'm presuming also that said phone call didn't shed any light on the matter. Wheres he staying if a late one?

Original poster
Ellie19881 · 19/03/2022 23:02

I’ve just called him and asked him to come home as we need to chat about some things in the morning. He’s said that’s fine but he’ll be out for a while still and sleep in the spare room.

OP posts:
merrymelodies · 19/03/2022 23:03

Maybe you should ask him to come home? Or wait until morning...

Original poster
Ellie19881 · 19/03/2022 23:06

He did sometimes stay with friends after a big night out so it’s not unusual. For the last few years he hasn’t had many ‘big nights out’ as COVID, usually just meeting friends in the pub and then coming back to ours.

OP posts:
BoldMove · 19/03/2022 23:07

Hope everything works out ok OP and ypu manage a good nights sleep. Might not be anything.

hellcatspangle · 19/03/2022 23:09

@Ellie19881

I’ve just called him and asked him to come home as we need to chat about some things in the morning. He’s said that’s fine but he’ll be out for a while still and sleep in the spare room.
At that, I'd have said "you need to come right now, we have things to discuss"
maddening · 19/03/2022 23:09

So sorry op, take whatever time you need, tell him to stay away for the weekend so you can get a plan in place imo.

maddening · 19/03/2022 23:11

Cross posts, def get your thoughts together for the morning x

PinkiOcelot · 19/03/2022 23:13

I’m sorry op. That must have been a shock to receive. Hope you get sorted.

thenewduchessoflapland · 19/03/2022 23:15

@Ellie19881

So I’ve calmed down a bit now! I think this text just set me off, and I’m trying to be rational. However DP has now just text me saying he’s going to stay out tonight as it’s ‘going to be a late one’

I'd have straight out asked if he's planning a late one as he's making a pit stop at (insert cheating slutbag's name) place.

ImWithMuriel · 19/03/2022 23:15

You are a more rational and calmer person than me OP. Really hope this works out OK.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 19/03/2022 23:17

So I’ve calmed down a bit now! I think this text just set me off, and I’m trying to be rational. However DP has now just text me saying he’s going to stay out tonight as it’s ‘going to be a late one’

Cocky little shit isn't he?

Poor you OP Thanks

Weenurse · 19/03/2022 23:37

💐☕️
So sorry you are going through this

SaltedCaramelIcedLatte · 19/03/2022 23:39

What a bloody nightmare, I would demand he come home now 2 discuss!

SaltedCaramelIcedLatte · 19/03/2022 23:39

Sorry this happening to you

CrossStichQueen · 19/03/2022 23:41

His arse would be coming home now or he would be permanently staying elsewhere!!!!

cherish123 · 19/03/2022 23:41

Speak to him/her in the morning.
Hopefully they'll be honest.
What should you do? Depends on how serious the relationship is. I assume you live together. If they have been cheating, I'd probably dump them.

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