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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder why this attitude towards marriage for men still exists?! [hmm]

158 replies

GreenGreenTreesOfHome · 28/12/2021 14:10

NC for this as I don't want it linking with my other posts.

There was a man on Family Fortunes yesterday, who said he wants to treat his parents to a holiday for their 50th wedding anniversary if he wins some decent money. He said 'my dad has had 2 life sentences, he deserves the break!' He said NOTHING about his mum.

It really REALLY fucking pissed me off. He thought he was funny, Gino just looked a bit Shock and it was pretty much like tumbleweed in the TV studio (with a couple of quiet nervous giggles,) but it made me so furious. Angry

Why is it a 'life sentence' for a man to be married for a long time, but an achievement, and something to be celebrated for a woman? I thought this horrible, wanky attitude had been consigned to the history books.

But no, for men, it's still a tedious chore to be married apparently, and a 'ball and chain' and a 'life sentence!' Yet it's OK for women to be married, and as I say, it's classed as an achievement, and something to be celebrated for HER. Hmm

I have heard many times in the past actually, that men are healthier and happier when they're married, and actually get more out of marriage than women do. So why is this bullshit still a thing?

OP posts:
madisonbridges · 28/12/2021 14:15

Lighten up. It's just a Christmas tv show and he was making a joke. His parents are together and he obviously gets on with them or they wouldn't be on the team.

GreenGreenTreesOfHome · 28/12/2021 14:18

@madisonbridges

Lighten up. It's just a Christmas tv show and he was making a joke. His parents are together and he obviously gets on with them or they wouldn't be on the team.
You are completely missing the point. Confused
OP posts:
CriminalOrator · 28/12/2021 14:19

Nah I don’t think you need to lighten up. I hate this attitude too. I’ve overheard it among my husband’s friends, poking fun at their wives and making out like they’re something to be avoided or placated. Drives me round the bend. Especially as all of their wives are fabulous, educated, clever women, who not only hold down hardcore jobs, but also do most of the domestic shite as well.

showmethegin · 28/12/2021 14:20

Yep I agree with you OP. In the same vein as utter crap like this

To wonder why this attitude towards marriage for men still exists?!  [hmm]
To wonder why this attitude towards marriage for men still exists?!  [hmm]
Laiste · 28/12/2021 14:23

Well, it's encouraging that the 'joke' didn't go down to well.

It's taking too long, but at least there's been progress. 20 years ago it would have been big belly laughs all the way at that Hmm

XelaM · 28/12/2021 14:23

Because it's funny! My parents are still together and my dad adores my mum, but he sometimes makes comments like that. It's just a joke!

GreenGreenTreesOfHome · 28/12/2021 14:24

@CriminalOrator

Nah I don’t think you need to lighten up. I hate this attitude too. I’ve overheard it among my husband’s friends, poking fun at their wives and making out like they’re something to be avoided or placated. Drives me round the bend. Especially as all of their wives are fabulous, educated, clever women, who not only hold down hardcore jobs, but also do most of the domestic shite as well.
This! In spades. thank you @CriminalOrator This is the kind of shit I am on about. And this man's 'joke' was the epitome of it. A senseless and unfunny 'joke' disguising his obvious misogyny. Why not say his MOTHER has had 2 life sentences, being married 50 years? Why say it ONLY about his father?

@showmethegin Thank you for posting that!

Awful picture. Like men are railroaded into marriage! Hmm

OP posts:
DropYourSword · 28/12/2021 14:24

I thought this horrible, wanky attitude had been consigned to the history books

Seriously? Yeah, it’s a crappy comment but are you honestly naive enough to think that this short of attitude and behaviour is truly only relegated to the history books? You must know there’s still plenty of crappy attitude remaining and it’s a slow slow grind to improvement.

Devilmakes3 · 28/12/2021 14:25

Yeah agree OP it is misogynistic twaddle it has definitely had its day on the joke territory.

GreenGreenTreesOfHome · 28/12/2021 14:28

@XelaM

Because it's funny! My parents are still together and my dad adores my mum, but he sometimes makes comments like that. It's just a joke!
Because it's funny.

It's really not. It's misogynistic, offensive, horribly out-dated, and majorly sexist. This kind of 'joke' should be consigned to the history books.

As I said, men get more benefits out of marriage than women do, yet this shitty attitude still exists... that men are 'trapped' and desperately unhappy when they're married. But women should be grateful, and celebrated for being married. Hmm

OP posts:
LoannaJumley · 28/12/2021 14:35

@madisonbridges

Lighten up. It's just a Christmas tv show and he was making a joke. His parents are together and he obviously gets on with them or they wouldn't be on the team.
A joke that yet again pokes fun at women being nagging shrews who are to be endured.

Not funny, not a joke and people that think this type of shit is still funny need to re-think their sense of humour.

madisonbridges · 28/12/2021 14:36

"As I said, men get more benefits out of marriage than women do, yet this shitty attitude still exists... that men are 'trapped' and desperately unhappy when they're married. But women should be grateful, and celebrated for being married."
......
Isn't that for the wives to decide how they feel and not for you to decide on their behalf. If they're happy with the joke, why are you getting so het up?

CriminalOrator · 28/12/2021 14:40

It’s the sort of ‘humour’ that should really should have died alongside Jim Davidson’s stand-up ‘career’.

GreenGreenTreesOfHome · 28/12/2021 14:41

@CriminalOrator

It’s the sort of ‘humour’ that should really should have died alongside Jim Davidson’s stand-up ‘career’.
100% agree. ^
OP posts:
RampantIvy · 28/12/2021 14:44

@XelaM

Because it's funny! My parents are still together and my dad adores my mum, but he sometimes makes comments like that. It's just a joke!
I'm not laughing. Although I think the wife deserves the holiday more if she has been married this long to the misogynistic twat.
RampantIvy · 28/12/2021 14:45

Just re-read the OP. The mother deserves the holiday away from her misgynistoc son.

GiveMyHeadPeaceffs · 28/12/2021 14:47

I totally agree @GreenGreenTreesOfHome it gives me the rage that sort of twattery.

I was looking at changing my car recently, thought I'd found the perfect car but the salesman constantly kept referring to it previously being owned by "one lady driver". What the actual fuck does that mean?? I didn't buy it.

ANameChangeAgain · 28/12/2021 14:47

I hear it said to men and women, so it isn't something that offends me.

CriminalOrator · 28/12/2021 14:48

@RampantIvy

Just re-read the OP. The mother deserves the holiday away from her misgynistoc son.
One could presume the misogynistic twat of a son was influenced by the misogynistic twat of a father, so the poor woman is the only one deserving of a break, not the inadequate ‘boys club’ that are her family.
dworky · 28/12/2021 14:50

Just a joke ...

daisyjgrey · 28/12/2021 14:51

@XelaM

Because it's funny! My parents are still together and my dad adores my mum, but he sometimes makes comments like that. It's just a joke!

Is it? Why is it funny? Can you explain it?

GreenGreenTreesOfHome · 28/12/2021 14:51

madisonbridges

Lighten up. It's just a Christmas tv show and he was making a joke. His parents are together and he obviously gets on with them or they wouldn't be on the team.

@LoannaJumley

A joke that yet again pokes fun at women being 'nagging shrews' who are to be endured.

Not funny, not a joke and people that think this type of shit is still funny need to re-think their sense of humour.

100% agree with this too. ^ I do seriously judge and look down on any person who thinks this kind of outdated and sexist shit is remotely funny. It turns my stomach. Men are assertive, women are bitches, men should be bold and brave, women should be timid and kind, men are henpecked and unhappy when married, women should be grateful and celebrated for 'bagging a man' (and actually getting him to marry her!) Hmm

Even on Feb 29th in 2020, a radio DJ said 'it's leap year day today guys, your woman can ask you to marry her...' Then a distant echoing male voice cried out 'run for the hills..................' Because it's SO horrible for men to be married. Great for women though eh? That's why we all nag men into marriage, and then nag and nag about everything else when we have ensnared them? Hmm Some 'nagging wives' even expect their husband to do some housework, and look after his own children now and again... Bloody demanding shrews. Looking after the home and the children his HER job! Hmm

OP posts:
FictionalCharacter · 28/12/2021 14:52

Horrible misogynistic Bernard-Manning era “humour”. Good to hear it didn’t go down well.
Interesting how despite this nonsense, it’s usually the man who asks the woman to marry him. I suppose they would say “she kept on about it so I had to” or some such.

Rainbowqueeen · 28/12/2021 14:53

Can the posters who say it’s funny explain what is funny about it ???

I genuinely don’t understand what is funny about degrading a person.

Whatsdamatta · 28/12/2021 14:53

I seriously think most of my husbands friends (and probably my husband) have got a way better deal being married than their wives. But that’s just what I see. I know some fab women - the blokes are blessed to have them.

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