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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Has my date stolen my keys??

999 replies

Wilhelmine · 28/11/2021 23:48

I’ve just come home with a guy I’ve been for a few dates with after a couple of drinks and we’ve had a coffee and he’s gone home. We’ve been getting on great and knew each other before as acquaintances. He’s a bit intense but nothing scary until tonight when he said “I don’t know what I’d do if this doesn’t work out”. Now I’ve just got ready for bed and can’t find my keys anywhere. I’m well organised and tidy and always know where things are. I’ve messaged him to ask if he picked them up by mistake but no reply. Am I being daft to think he might have taken them? If I can’t find them in the morning I’ll have to get the locks changed and I really don’t want to have to do that.....

OP posts:
RubyKitty · 29/11/2021 08:37

@Wilhelmine

He’s just called. He’s got them and is bringing them over now. Fucking twat. Do I still need to change the locks?
YES!!!
MumMRM · 29/11/2021 08:38

YES DEFINATELY CHANGE THE LOCKS! How do you know he has not had copies made? I would be scared! How can he take them by mistake? He would see they were not his and why would he have his out wherever you had left yours? It sounds dodgy, please be careful xx

iloveheater · 29/11/2021 08:39

@Wilhelmine

He’s just called. He’s got them and is bringing them over now. Fucking twat. Do I still need to change the locks?
Tell him to post them through the letter box. Do not open the door.

Change the locks.

You're focusing on your feelings of being annoyed, not your feelings of worrying for your safety. Your safety is more important.

He knows where you live, and he's had your keys overnight. Change the locks.

Pottedpalm · 29/11/2021 08:39

Yes, change locks. Were the messages read last night?

crochetmonkey74 · 29/11/2021 08:39

@Wilhelmine

He’s just called. He’s got them and is bringing them over now. Fucking twat. Do I still need to change the locks?
Yes- don't forget how you distrusted him straight away- that's bigger than locks, not sleeping, day off etc

Also- I highly doubt someone would miss everything on their phone - most of us use it for an alarm clock etc

Trust your instinct- you'll always be worried that he can get in

ICalledYouLastNightFromGlasgow · 29/11/2021 08:40

Yes! If you have any doubt, do it to feel safe. And bin him, if you're instinct is he could be dodgy definitely don't go further with relationship.

LadyPenelope68 · 29/11/2021 08:40

@Wilhelmine
Tell work the truth, honestly if this person has overstepped the boundaries, the more people who know the safer you could be.
I totally agree with @Wilderflower here, please tell work the real reason, just as a back up in case anything happens. Don’t give them an excuse.

Beckert · 29/11/2021 08:40

He’s just called. He’s got them and is bringing them over now. Fucking twat. Do I still need to change the locks?

I would.

NommyChompers · 29/11/2021 08:40

My local 24hr supermarket has a key cutting vending machine thingy so I’d definitely still be changing the locks! Sorry OP. Stay safe

YetAnotherSpartacus · 29/11/2021 08:41

Have someone with you when he brings them over, change the locks, get a security camera that you can view footage on remotely and dump him. I also have a full alarm system including a panic button.

NC101NC · 29/11/2021 08:41

@NommyChompers

My local 24hr supermarket has a key cutting vending machine thingy so I’d definitely still be changing the locks! Sorry OP. Stay safe
Yes exactly. I've been to one of those when I needed a key copying. Just a little machine that does it in 2 mins.
isthismylifenow · 29/11/2021 08:42

Don't mention a lock change to him OP.

Did he reply via message or on a call?

Helpstopthepain · 29/11/2021 08:42

How scary. I’m not surprised you haven’t slept!

Definitely still change the locks. Trust your gut.

JSL52 · 29/11/2021 08:42

What was his explanation for having them?
Whatever it was it's bullshit.
I'd still change the locks.
He's let you worry all night.

HoseMeDownWithHolyWater · 29/11/2021 08:43

Sorry that sounded glib. I didn't mean you were my entertainment - I meant I kept checking to see if you'd found them.

I hope you do find them and it wasn't your date, OP. Not because I think you should keep dating him, but so it stops playing on your mind.

BubbleCoffee · 29/11/2021 08:43

Yes, change the locks. He might have got the keys copied.

Be vague and non-committal if while at your home he suggests another date. If you say outright you don't want to meet again then things might turn nasty. You can let him down by text once he has gone and you've changed the locks.

You could also get a security camera which will record him if he does turn up and try to open the door.

isthismylifenow · 29/11/2021 08:43

@Pottedpalm

Yes, change locks. Were the messages read last night?
The thing is you can read messages without opening them, via the drop down of main screen.

There is no way to tell if he saw them or not.

PerfectlyUnsuitable · 29/11/2021 08:43

Yes. Please change the locks, at the very least so you have some peace of mind.

YukoandHiro · 29/11/2021 08:44

Yes change the locks, he could have made a copy

Cantdecidewhich · 29/11/2021 08:45

tell him you are going out and ask him to put them through your letterbox, he will think you locked up with a spare,

PerfectlyUnsuitable · 29/11/2021 08:45

Also remember your guts were right.
They are also telling you he ha s been far too intense and even scary last night.
Trust your gut! Don’t agree to a next date just there and then and then stop seeing him.

gamerchick · 29/11/2021 08:45

You only need to replace one lock. Not all of them.

Qwaurkus · 29/11/2021 08:45

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

Sorrynotsorry2 · 29/11/2021 08:45

Change your locks . He knew he had them. Now its stopped you from going to work and taking the day off . Could be the start of a downward spiral. Bit odd to take your keys

HoseMeDownWithHolyWater · 29/11/2021 08:46

Ffs - didn't RTFT.

What was his excuse?!

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