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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Changed nappy on restaurant table

251 replies

Badlytornfrube · 28/10/2021 08:17

I went to an independent pizza place for lunch with a friend. Her 4 month old did a poo. The restaurant only had one tiny toilet with no changing space. My friend used the empty table next to us to change her baby. I was mortified and other customers watched us, I think one was filming us surreptitiously. Am I wrong not to want to go to lunch with her again. Fwiw I have 3 small children and I would have changed them outside.

YABU: she had nowhere else to change the baby
YANBU: that was a disgusting thing to do

OP posts:
FindingMeno · 28/10/2021 21:07

Yuk.
Such a shame all loos open to the public don't have a changing table of sorts.

AlwaysLatte · 28/10/2021 21:11

Also your friend d shouldn't have agreed to go somewhere with no baby change facilities. I always used to check that first.
But there clearly isn't a disabled toilet either - doesn't sound like they are doing this ga the way they should.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 28/10/2021 21:11

I would have asked a member of staff where o could change the baby.

I wouldn’t have changed them on the table but equally I don’t think parents should have to go out of the restaurant to do this.

Lookingoutside · 28/10/2021 22:14

Fuck sake. What happens to some people when they have a baby?!

You are definitely not being unreasonable.

Sofiegiraffe · 28/10/2021 22:25

I would have asked a member of staff where o could change the baby.

This! Definitely not on the table 🤢

PiesNotGuys · 28/10/2021 22:26

Bloody hell OP that’s not on.

Maybe it’s a small town thing but most places we go don’t have specific changing facilities. If I’m out with a baby its a mat on a loo floor or more likely on a grassy patch of ground somewhere because buses don’t have changing areas either and that’s how we get around. I don’t understand the too cold idea, my babies have been changed outside on snow - most of the time there’s no alternative, just be fast!

BashfulClam · 28/10/2021 23:44

Jeeez! I took my nerve out at 6 months and she took a massive dump…you know those ones a newly weaned baby can produce that are huge! No changing area so I took her into the loo and lay the changing mat along my upper legs so she was lying on my knee to change her! I’d never even think tm do it where people are eating!

HaveringWavering · 28/10/2021 23:55

@Howareyouflower

Does anyone wonder what we did before changing mats/tables? We sat on the toilet, spread our legs to make a lap, and changed the child, using towelling square nappies and nappy pins. We did that from the time of the child's birth until they were potty trained (at about 2 and a half in my children's cases). No need to change them on a dirty floor, and definitely no need to do it on a restaurant table. Babies can also be changed in the buggy.....but not in a restaurant.
I’m thinking you’d have to go back centuries to get to a time before mats and tables Grin
fibrecruncher · 29/10/2021 00:51

Yanbu!!! Gross. I do think perhaps you should have said something to your

PizzaCrust · 29/10/2021 01:16

Christ. Really grim but also poor baby, absolutely no privacy for them. I could never change my baby in a public place like that, but maybe I’m just paranoid.

If it was me I would have went out to my car and used the back seat, or laid my coat down on the floor of the toilet and laid them on it. My coat could get washed when I got home and they wouldn’t have had to touch the floor. Failing a car to use and a coat or something to put on the floor, I would have asked a waiter for help and offered to clean down wherever they offered after if they left me some cleaning spray.

I probably would give lunch a miss, next time. Or insist on picking the location and ensuring they had a good baby changing facility beforehand.

steff13 · 29/10/2021 01:21

@GoodGrief100

Oh dear...I used to change my DD in her carry cot or the back of the car in these situations.
Yeah, I've done more than one car trunk diaper change. Using the table is disgusting.
SammyScrounge · 29/10/2021 02:36

Dirty bosom!

SammyScrounge · 29/10/2021 02:36

Bisom

PinkSyCo · 29/10/2021 05:57

Eww that really is disgusting. Equally I do understand why she wouldn’t want to change her very young baby outside in late October. I would have ate up quick or asked for a take out box and left to find a public toilet with baby changing facilities and vowed to check venues had them before going next time.

sbhydrogen · 29/10/2021 05:59

Just change them in the pram, it's not that hard!

I had to change my DD in the pram/carrycot earlier. I was in a shopping centre but couldn't find the toilet. I found a quiet corner and worked silently and fast. There was a lot of poo, but I was well away from any eateries.

MsRedhook · 29/10/2021 07:45

That's totally unacceptable. I recall my overbearing ex-MIL suggesting I changed my DD's nappy a the cafe table as there was a queue for the toilets. She seemed to think I was being difficult by refusing. So glad she's an ex!

Rivermonsters · 29/10/2021 09:36

Your friend is a dirty bitch, maybe someone should come and shit on her table.

Original poster
Badlytornfrube · 29/10/2021 09:49

@Rivermonsters Woah. I understand that what she did was unacceptable but your response seems very aggressive.

OP posts:
Gonnagetgoing · 29/10/2021 09:55

[quote Badlytornfrube]@Rivermonsters Woah. I understand that what she did was unacceptable but your response seems very aggressive.[/quote]
I wouldn't have given the same response but have voiced it internally.

It's disgusting.

And those who say, oh FTM, pushed for time etc. That is no excuse for changing a baby on a table in a cafe.

sqirrelfriends · 29/10/2021 10:09

@Rivermonsters

That's like saying if you change a baby on the floor of the bathroom, someone should then have a poo there as payback, or on a bed, a sofa...

chocolatecerealcampingbrekkie · 29/10/2021 10:35

Disgusting 🤮

whynotwhatknot · 29/10/2021 10:45

london was not that cold shes being precious and could have gone outside or waited and found another toilet somewhere

CounsellorTroi · 29/10/2021 10:49

@NotPersephone

It's sadly not uncommon. On returning from the loo in a plane I found the occupant of the next seat changing her baby's shitty nappy on my seat (with no mat). She then left the rolled up nappy on my meal table, the dirty mare. Luckily the plane was empty-ish and I was moved, but people can be vile (and the cabin crew just rolled their eyes and said it happens all the time).
Bloody hell.
smoko · 29/10/2021 14:55

I wish the cafe table changers of MN would come forth to defend their dirty ways

Over 100 voted Op unreasonable but seems nobody wants to actually admit it!

Gonnagetgoing · 29/10/2021 15:04

@smoko - quite - happy to vote but not happy to post and argue about how it’s their right to change a nappy on a cafe/restaurant table! I would honestly be disgusted if anyone I was with did this and I’d have a word with them on hygiene reasons, offensive to other customers etc.