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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Changed nappy on restaurant table

251 replies

Badlytornfrube · 28/10/2021 08:17

I went to an independent pizza place for lunch with a friend. Her 4 month old did a poo. The restaurant only had one tiny toilet with no changing space. My friend used the empty table next to us to change her baby. I was mortified and other customers watched us, I think one was filming us surreptitiously. Am I wrong not to want to go to lunch with her again. Fwiw I have 3 small children and I would have changed them outside.

YABU: she had nowhere else to change the baby
YANBU: that was a disgusting thing to do

OP posts:
sqirrelfriends · 28/10/2021 08:30

I've had this abroad where it's quite common not to have baby change facilities. Luckily I always had a muslin and a travel change mat in my baby bag so I used that on the floor of the bathroom.

museumum · 28/10/2021 08:32

Never on a table!!
If the toilet is too small (is it acceptable to not have an accessible toilet?) then on the floor in the cafe in a discrete corner.

Newmum29 · 28/10/2021 08:32

I’ve changed mine if the toilet floor (on a mat). It was tiny but I did manage.

BonneMaman15 · 28/10/2021 08:33

When DC was a baby and I couldn't find a place to change, I'd put a little blanket down in a corner of the floor to change.

ChickenTikkaMoSalah · 28/10/2021 08:33

Did she have a pram? Surely you’d do it in there?

Heckythump1 · 28/10/2021 08:33

That is beyond grim!

I'd have lay the pushchair flat and changed baby in there, away from where people are eating!

User527294627 · 28/10/2021 08:34

Yanbu, that’s disgusting. It’s pretty terrible that the restaurant doesn’t have changing facilities, but still no justification for that.

cultkid · 28/10/2021 08:35

That's awful so so so so fucking rude

SausageSizzle · 28/10/2021 08:38

Disgusting to change the baby on a table. Gross and unhygienic.

But why did you choose to go somewhere with a baby without proper facilities? It's too cold to change a baby outside at the moment.

I would have left you in the restaurant and gone off in search of somewhere with a proper baby change, before coming back to join you afterwards.

MajesticallyAwkward · 28/10/2021 08:39

Someone was filming a baby being changed? As in small child with its genitals exposed and some stranger whipped a camera out?!

Changing on a table isn't great, personally I'd have just popped baby in the pram and changed them but sometimes you just go on autopilot in the moment. Who is dragging a tiny baby outside in the cold to undress and change them?

Original poster
Badlytornfrube · 28/10/2021 08:39

@museumum interesting. I just looked this up and you don’t have to have an accessible toilet if it is not practical due to space constraints.

OP posts:
DaisyNGO · 28/10/2021 08:41

I have a friend who did this with a non poop nappy

I was furious and stopped her before she started

DC were sat looking confused because I don't really get angry about anything. I don't shout but it's a change of demeanour I guess

She was quite embarrassed and didn't actually go through with it

I saw a pooopy nappy being changed in a coffee shop chain. I hate those places anyway but that was the last straw, we don't go any more.

SnugKnights · 28/10/2021 08:41

We’ve got a cafe locally that is tiny and has 1 toilet, they have a changing table on the wall behind the toilet that pulls down over the toilet itself. There’s no excuse not to have a changing table in my opinion.

ExConstance · 28/10/2021 08:41

I used to change my son by putting him in the boot of the car. If we were in town shopping I'd park as close as I could to where we were going and walk back to do it.

Original poster
Badlytornfrube · 28/10/2021 08:41

@SausageSizzle she chose it and was fully aware that it doesn’t have a changing table. I think that makes it worse.

OP posts:
LadyCrawley · 28/10/2021 08:43

At a push I'd have changed the baby on my lap. And id probably have done that in the toilet.

biddlybop · 28/10/2021 08:43

I think one was filming us surreptitiously.

Am I the only person more concerned by this....

She shouldn't have done it on the table, in these situations I'd do it on my lap or in the pram. But a stranger filming a baby having their nappy changed is a bigger issue to me than a nappy being changed on a table, as long as the table was thoroughly disinfected after. If she didn't have a pram with her and was mid-lunch, then honestly as long as the table was cleaned, I don't think I'd have cared too much. A 4 month olds poo is also very different to the poo of a 1 or 2 year old, it's mostly milk, so doesn't smell the same and won't have stunk the place out.

Chocaholic9 · 28/10/2021 08:44

What she did is not OK. I would not go out with her again.

SausageSizzle · 28/10/2021 08:44

Well, that's just bizarre.

Having said that, absolutely no excuse for people to film it. Horrendous behaviour!

Honestly, she sounds terrible, it doesn't sound like a great place and the other customers sound awful too.

Original poster
Badlytornfrube · 28/10/2021 08:44

Interesting that at least 15 people think I am being unreasonable.

OP posts:
butterpuffed · 28/10/2021 08:45

@2typesofjungle

So disguising.
Oh, was she wearing a mask ? In that case nobody will recognise her if she goes in without one next time.
stairgates · 28/10/2021 08:45

What was wrong with her lap! She could easily of sat at the table and discreetly done this. Thats not nice.

biddlybop · 28/10/2021 08:46

With changing a baby on the bathroom floor...I know an awful lot of men that miss the loo, so I'm not a lover of putting small babies on toilet floors, muslin or no muslin.

SausageSizzle · 28/10/2021 08:46

I agree with the pp above that, gross as it was, filming it was worse. I would be more concerned about that than the nappy change (although I do find that disgusting).

ChaToilLeam · 28/10/2021 08:47

She’s a dirty minger and I would not go out with her again.