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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Changed nappy on restaurant table

251 replies

Badlytornfrube · 28/10/2021 08:17

I went to an independent pizza place for lunch with a friend. Her 4 month old did a poo. The restaurant only had one tiny toilet with no changing space. My friend used the empty table next to us to change her baby. I was mortified and other customers watched us, I think one was filming us surreptitiously. Am I wrong not to want to go to lunch with her again. Fwiw I have 3 small children and I would have changed them outside.

YABU: she had nowhere else to change the baby
YANBU: that was a disgusting thing to do

OP posts:
smoko · 28/10/2021 16:38

Hold up, you should give the restaurant a chance to handle the situation. If they don’t, then you could refuse to pay for the food you haven’t had.

If you’ve eaten your meal & onto after dinners coffees then to not pay for your meal is stealing.

Don’t use some feral parent’s behaviour to punish a restaurant & score a freebie. That’s low.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 28/10/2021 16:53

I agree about the rest, Smoko, but OP said it's a very small place and the staff couldn't have failed to see what happened - so for whatever reason, they obviously didn't want to say anything

Maybe they saw nothing wrong with it, in which case it would definitely be a place to swerve

KateTheEighth · 28/10/2021 17:10

That's unbelievably disgusting

billy1966 · 28/10/2021 17:20

I certainly couldn't be friendly with someone so ignorant to other people's comfort.

100% unacceptable.

Personally I couldn't have sat there.

The mortification to be in the company of someone so rude would be just too much for me.

I can honestly say I have never seen anyone do such a thing.

Cut your losses OP.

The poor restaurant owners.
They really should have asked you both to leave.

MintyGreenDream · 28/10/2021 17:34

Dirty scruffy behaviour

darkn · 28/10/2021 18:08

*Hold up, you should give the restaurant a chance to handle the situation. If they don’t, then you could refuse to pay for the food you haven’t had.

If you’ve eaten your meal & onto after dinners coffees then to not pay for your meal is stealing.

Don’t use some feral parent’s behaviour to punish a restaurant & score a freebie. That’s low*

I'd pay but I'd be having strong words with staff/mgmt. Reminds me of a time I went to Nandos with my housemates years ago. There was one housemate who chronically picked his nose, it made me gag. We were sitting about to get our food served and he started doing it, I was too polite to say anything but I could see it all over his hands.

It totally ruined the meal I was so looking forward to having and I was secretly livid.

darkn · 28/10/2021 18:09

The poor restaurant owners

poor restaurant owners my foot-it is their place to step in and stop this and after this, they should be putting up clear signs that forbid it.

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 28/10/2021 18:31

On the // ONE // occasion I had to change DD on a loo floor I used an old tea towel to kneel on (carried for emergencies In changing bag) and mat was plenty big enough for her. As soon as change was done I passed DD up to my mum and placed towel and mat straight into a nappy sack to be chucked in a hot wash once we returned to our apartment. Anti abc wipes meant I could wipe my knees down even though they'd not touched the floor.

So yes, not ideal but I'd not changed in the buggy before and didn't trust myself to drop her doing it on my lap. So loo floor it was.

On the same holiday I sterilised her bottles, dummy etc in a huge sauce pan filled with boiling water and a Milton tablet with cling film on overnight. I'm a dreadful mother Grin

Howareyouflower · 28/10/2021 18:43

Does anyone wonder what we did before changing mats/tables? We sat on the toilet, spread our legs to make a lap, and changed the child, using towelling square nappies and nappy pins. We did that from the time of the child's birth until they were potty trained (at about 2 and a half in my children's cases). No need to change them on a dirty floor, and definitely no need to do it on a restaurant table. Babies can also be changed in the buggy.....but not in a restaurant.

Crumble012 · 28/10/2021 18:59

There’s always something that you can do. In desperation I’ve spread my coat on the loo floor, put the changing mat on top and done it there. Put coat in buggy basket and then washed it once I got home. If I hadn’t had a coat I’d have used a couple of muslins…

bellabasset · 28/10/2021 19:14

We used to welcome new mums and babies back to see us. Some of the staff would, without asking use the table we had the printer on and was used for sending out our post. They never sanitised it and would put used nappies in the office bin. The owner came to see where I was one afternoon and I said I'd had to get away from the smell before emptying the bin. We had several bathrooms so it was inexcusable.

The next mum that came in was told where she could change her baby and dispose of the nappy

SnackSizeRaisin · 28/10/2021 19:19

@Badlytornfrube I wonder if I know your friend. I was out with her 2 weeks ago and she tried to do this. I told her it was disgusting and made her go outside. Does she live in a town beginning with p about 20 mins out of Cardiff?

BigYellowHat · 28/10/2021 19:20

🤮 What if the staff didn’t see and therefore didn’t clean the table??!! I wouldn’t want to be eating off a baby changing mat!

Newmumatlast · 28/10/2021 19:35

@Sirzy

It is never justified to change a nappy on a restaurant table.
I agree. I have had to change my baby on the floor in the toilets before due to no change table and insufficient sideboard space but it is possible with a mat (standard change bag staple) and a blanket or my cardigan or something to soften the ground for baby. I always carried wipes and antibac etc so had to make do. Else I'd have left to go home but there wasnt always time. I would always rather do that than use a restaurant table. Or, in fact, change my child in front of a bunch of strangers which has safeguarding implications anyway if someone is filming like you suggested that they may have been
Newmumatlast · 28/10/2021 19:37

@Howareyouflower

Does anyone wonder what we did before changing mats/tables? We sat on the toilet, spread our legs to make a lap, and changed the child, using towelling square nappies and nappy pins. We did that from the time of the child's birth until they were potty trained (at about 2 and a half in my children's cases). No need to change them on a dirty floor, and definitely no need to do it on a restaurant table. Babies can also be changed in the buggy.....but not in a restaurant.
I have done this before too when I've felt able enough to support baby/had sufficient space but have as above used toilet floor when it's been easier to do so but cleaned and used stuff under a mat
billy1966 · 28/10/2021 19:51

@darkn

I agree.

But I have never eaten in a place in my LONG life, that asked "patrons please do NOT change nappies on the restaurant's tables".🙄

I am extremely well travelled, and over the past nearly 40 years of travelling all over the world and having happily eaten in some dumps😁, have NEVER seen a woman change a nappy, not to mind a full one, in a place where people were consuming food.

OP, your friend resides among the absolute dregs of society.

Abandon!😁

Jamallama · 28/10/2021 19:57

Dirty cow, she should have changed the baby on her knee like I do. It's not hard to do.

LidlMiddleLover · 28/10/2021 20:36

I would have used a bench seat or the pram I think

Franklin12 · 28/10/2021 20:46

I suspect someone was filming because it was such a disgusting thing to do they wanted to shame the person doing it by putting online.

And it is horribly gross. I don’t care if they are a new Mum, tired, not thinking. Just don’t do it!

Original poster
Badlytornfrube · 28/10/2021 20:52

105 people think I am being unreasonable. However none have commented. How odd.

We are based in London not Cardiff. There must be a few people out there who think this is ok.

OP posts:
middleager · 28/10/2021 20:54

I saw this once in Burger King.

It was at a shopping centre with lots of toilets and baby changing centres.

15 years on and I still struggle to eat at BK without thinking of it.

It's not acceptable.

julieca · 28/10/2021 20:56

@Badlytornfrube some people think whatever a mum does is okay.

ClinkeyMonkey · 28/10/2021 21:01

I have seen this happen a couple of times over the years. Very unsanitary. Some of the places I changed my babies' nappies were weird and wonderful - it's amazing how creative you can be in an urgent situation. But bloody hell, NEVER on a restaurant table.

DroopyClematis · 28/10/2021 21:05

It doesn't matter what the toilet facilities are like, you can change your baby on the floor , in a toilet , by using a changing mat.

Your friend was very silly and disrespectful to other diners. I'm surprised that she wasn't challenged. However, given the entitlement that some people feel , these days, the staff probably felt too scared to approach her.

AlwaysLatte · 28/10/2021 21:06

Ugh. Totally not on!