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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If there were zombies..

129 replies

julieca · 15/10/2021 00:09

Do you think you would survive in a zombie apocalypse?

YABU - no, not a chance they would catch me and eat me.

YANBU - I would survive and would be fine.

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PurpleDaisies · 15/10/2021 00:10

Final girl all the way here!

Purplepeoniesdroppingpetals · 15/10/2021 00:12

I’d need a fire extinguisher- can’t tell you my kick arse plan because it involves me sacrificing others to make an escape…it’d work for a bit and then I’d get a bit tired because of Covid weight gain and let the zombies get me.

CiaoForDiNiaoSaur · 15/10/2021 00:12

I'm too lazy to run away so they could feast on my rather large body. Grin

AfterSchoolWorry · 15/10/2021 00:12

It looks tiring chopping them up. I'd go to bed for a nap and be munched in my sleep.

Original poster
julieca · 15/10/2021 00:14

My DP is disabled so would be eaten quickly. But at least if he turned into a zombie he would be limping along very slowly and have no real chance of catching anyone.

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Mymapuddlington · 15/10/2021 00:15

Me and ds have a zombie plan figured out. As long as they weren’t running zombies I’d be ok.
Live in a quiet dead end street so would kill the neighbours if they were zombies, blockade the end bit where I am. Nothing behind us so would grow food and set up water filtration system, barricade downstairs windows. Go on scavenging hunts and take down any z I see. To be fair we live rurally, if I was in central London my plan wouldn’t work lol

LightDrizzle · 15/10/2021 00:16

Are these slow Zombies? If so I reckon I’d be okay.

LightDrizzle · 15/10/2021 00:19

Okay, so I’ve just read @Mymapuddlington’s rather more considered response and I need to change my opinion to being eaten.

If I can’t get to the shops I’m fucked. I haven’t really thought this through.

XenoBitch · 15/10/2021 00:21

If there was a real serious zombie apocalypse.. I would not fancy my chances at all, and wold top myself.

WhyMeLord · 15/10/2021 00:21

A few weeks ago we lived in a house on a farm miles away from anywhere so plenty of warning and with all sorts of dangerous farm equipment, shotguns, things to turn into barricades, and I mentioned to DH at the time we'd be laughing if there was a zombie apocalypse. Fast forward to now and we've moved to the suburbs of a major city, we'd be armed with spatulas and rolled up copies of the waitrose magazine. we're fucked

Original poster
julieca · 15/10/2021 00:27

If it was a Shaun of the Dead type scenario I would be okay, as I would simply have stayed hidden in the house until it was all over. I would not go outside to try and get to anyone. In fact, my only zombie type plan is to hide in the attic. But this only works if everything is sorted within a day or two.

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LuluJakey1 · 15/10/2021 00:37

As long as they are the slow, lumbering ones with an awkward gait I'd be fine. Happy to do all the moves with a sword to chop off multiple zombie heads or stab through brains. I have a zombie plan and a hoard of loo roll. PIL would move in as childminders and DH and I would go out on supply runs.

EggAndHasBeans · 15/10/2021 02:26

Dragging feet zombies - yes
Speedy fuckers - not a chance

Kanaloa · 15/10/2021 02:33

Absolutely not, I’d be eaten before I realised there was a zombie outbreak happening.

On the subject of your DH, can zombies even be disabled/limp? They all seem to shuffle or run oddly with an equal speed.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 15/10/2021 02:52

I'd just pretend to be one. You know what they say if you can't beat them join them. Grin

Duckypoohs · 15/10/2021 03:00

Depends if they were fast or slow. Slow, possibly but unlikely, fast, just bite me now.

SpidersAreShitheads · 15/10/2021 03:09

What are all these fast zombies people keep mentioning?! 😯 I've only ever seen the slow, dragging-feet type of zombie.

The idea of a speedy zombie is going to disturb my sleep tonight.

Disclaimer: I'm a big wuss who hates horror.

shakehandswithdanger · 15/10/2021 03:11

A short zombie disaster? I'd have a good chance. End-of-the-world-as-we-know-it scenario? No, I don't think I'd have the stamina or will to live to endure that for very long, especially if most of the people I care about have already succumbed.

But who knows! My survival instincts might kick in and surprise me. I just dread to think about what happens when you have even a semi-serious illness...

Zombie survival strategies were more fun to think about back when I was ten or fifteen years younger and healthier! Wink

shakehandswithdanger · 15/10/2021 03:12

What are all these fast zombies people keep mentioning?! 😯 I've only ever seen the slow, dragging-feet type of zombie.

28 Days Later had fast zombies, I think. I Am Legend's "infected" were speedy, too. Maybe also World War Z? I can't remember much about that one.

recklessruby · 15/10/2021 03:17

After my week at work I AM a zombie so would be quite at home (the slow lumbering type of course).

EggAndHasBeans · 15/10/2021 04:00

What are all these fast zombies people keep mentioning

You've clearly been sheltered from this and I don't think I want to be the one who shines a light in that dark corner for you.

Coffeeonmytoffee · 15/10/2021 04:50

I'm deaf and wear glasses - so no hope.

TasteTheMeatNotTheHeat · 15/10/2021 04:55

Yeah, sure, I think I'd give it a good go. You can outrun a zombie, and if not, you can outsmart them.

I'm not sure how I'd fare against the other survivors...

chaosrabbitland · 15/10/2021 05:13

@SpidersAreShitheads

What are all these fast zombies people keep mentioning?! 😯 I've only ever seen the slow, dragging-feet type of zombie.

The idea of a speedy zombie is going to disturb my sleep tonight.

Disclaimer: I'm a big wuss who hates horror.

ha ha the zombies in dawn of the dead moved pretty quickly lol , dont ever watch that one
Original poster
julieca · 15/10/2021 10:00

@Kanaloa

Absolutely not, I’d be eaten before I realised there was a zombie outbreak happening.

On the subject of your DH, can zombies even be disabled/limp? They all seem to shuffle or run oddly with an equal speed.

Yes, there are no disabled zombies in the films. Probably easier and cheaper to have able-bodied extras.
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