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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think she ought to have let me have it?

835 replies

AngeloMysterioso · 11/10/2021 11:21

On my way home from town yesterday I popped into a charity shop for a browse and they had a lovely baby changing bag. I wanted to buy it but didn’t have the arm space for any more stuff and the woman who ran the shop said they couldn’t keep it for me, so I came back into town this morning to get it.
The charity shop still has a utterly daft one way system so it’s really cramped and today I had the pram. Ahead of me was a woman whose Mum (I presume) was standing next to the bags with a pram while she looked at other stuff. In front of them was someone in a wheelchair so I stood and waited until they could move so I could pick the bag up.
The woman then walks back over to her Mum, spots the bag and picks it up. I said “Oh, I was going to get that, I’ve come back into town for it.”

Now in her position, what I’d have done was said on, here you go, and handed it over. However she just shrugged and said “oh, sorry.” And took it.

AIBU to think that’s a dick move and she should have let me have it?

OP posts:
BoredZelda · 11/10/2021 18:43

This thread is bringing out the worst of mumsnet

Yep. Those who are entitled and those who let them get away with it.

WhoIsBernieBrown · 11/10/2021 18:45

But as an aside OP, I bet you could get a really decent changing bag on ebay for cheap!

Shannith · 11/10/2021 18:49

@ASeagullShatInMyEye

Jolly good. At least we agree that the OP is being unreasonable and needs to realise that the world does not revolve around her and a missed opportunity in a charity shop.
Grinwe are almost unanimous.
DrSbaitso · 11/10/2021 18:56

@WhoIsBernieBrown

If the bag was something I was neither here nor there about that I had literally just seen, I probably would have given it to you. I hope she actually needs it and uses it and didn't just buy it to be an arse.
Nobody buys something they don't need or want just to annoy a random stranger!
timtamtamsin · 11/10/2021 19:08

@diddl

Going into a charity shop when you can't afford/carry anything else=rookie mistake!
This!
AlfonsoTheDinosaur · 11/10/2021 19:29

OMG I can't believe you'd let her have it smile

If he bag was THAT important, you'd have been at the door for it opening this morning..

If the bag were that important, the OP could have mugged the woman outside of the shop and hopped into a waiting taxi. After all, the OP would have been wearing a mask so no one could have identified her.

Poor planning, OP.

Mrstamborineman · 11/10/2021 19:33

Hahaaa very funny. You’re kidding right? No adult is that deluded about their sense of importance.

iamtheoneandonlyyy · 11/10/2021 19:34

I think the points been made now though, it's a bit of a pile on to be honest

GreyhoundG1rl · 11/10/2021 19:36

Arf at all the posters claiming she didn't really want the bag at all and only bought it to be an arse!
How do your minds work??

steff13 · 11/10/2021 19:38

@GreyhoundG1rl

Arf at all the posters claiming she didn't really want the bag at all and only bought it to be an arse! How do your minds work??
Right? Presumably they only suggested that because that's what they would have done...
flippertyop · 11/10/2021 19:39

Lost for words ...

annie335 · 11/10/2021 19:53

You win some you lose some. I think this was one of those moments where you could kick yourself for not buying it when you saw it! I don't think the other woman was being unreasonable - how did she know you were being truthful about coming back for it and why should she lose out when she got there first?

CBroads · 11/10/2021 20:12

You sound like a sore loser, get a grip

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 11/10/2021 20:24

Do we not have a diagram yet?

To think she ought to have let me have it?
Fraine · 11/10/2021 20:25

YANBU, OP. Sorry you missed out.

I’ve learnt to be a bit ruthless when it comes to things like this.

Grab first, ask questions later.

I live near a market that has some amazing bargains on brand new high street goods. I just grab what I like and then take my time deciding what I don’t want.

The other day a man was buying some shoes but trying to bargain too hard on the price, so the trader threw the shoes back on the table. The man didn’t immediately take the shoes back, so I nabbed them for my DH. The man then tried to say the shoes belong to him, but I said, no, sorry, they were on the table and I am buying them.

You have to be quick. I would have found a way to take that bag home the day before.

Fraine · 11/10/2021 20:25

@JesusInTheCabbageVan

Do we not have a diagram yet?
Did this happen in the Upside Down?
JesusInTheCabbageVan · 11/10/2021 20:27

Diagram is upside down because it happened in Australia.

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 11/10/2021 20:28

Or in the Upside Down Grin

RubyKitty · 11/10/2021 20:28

It’s a bag. You should have bought it yesterday and put some of your other shopping in it. I’m sure you’ll find another one

DrSbaitso · 11/10/2021 20:37

@JesusInTheCabbageVan

Diagram is upside down because it happened in Australia.
That also explains why OP couldn't carry it on her arm.
slashlover · 11/10/2021 20:39

The charity shop should have probably kept it aside for you if you paid for it and a bit mean of them not to as they'd still have the money if you didn't go back for it.

But every charity shop I've ever worked for is tiny, we don't have space to be holding items for random customers and we've been burned by the "I'll pay for it and collect it first thing tomorrow!" people who turn up 4 days later.

We will keep (unpaid) item until the end of the day then it goes back out on the floor. We've tried keeping unpaid items until the next day and then have people appearing 2 days later and kicking off when we've sold the item because we apparently should have known how much they wanted it.

Offmyfence · 11/10/2021 20:49

@GreyhoundG1rl

Arf at all the posters claiming she didn't really want the bag at all and only bought it to be an arse! How do your minds work??
Bizarrely!
Wills · 11/10/2021 20:54

Hey, when I first read it i voted YABU BUT I hadn’t read your full circumstances. My heart goes out to you but unfortunately this is the world we live in. I may be fired for this, yet am well off, but the truth is the West’s version of democracy isn’t great. Sorry am not wishing to use your thread for political point scoring so will back off. The world in which we live agrees with those that suggest first seen with money, first come! I get your point! But you need to join a political party to overcome these issues. As a point I’m not a Corbyn supporter and will never be one because half my family are Jewish. BUT nevertheless really believe in what you’re saying i.e. basic human something. If it were me ahead of you then yes I’d have handed it to you, though would have headed home wondering if I was a mug! Why is basic human kindness reduced to Mug or Not Mug. So!!!!! Voted that you were being unreasonable because its the society we live in. But understand your upset. Take a deep breath and consider other societies. Much love

Offmyfence · 11/10/2021 20:57

@Wills

Hey, when I first read it i voted YABU BUT I hadn’t read your full circumstances. My heart goes out to you but unfortunately this is the world we live in. I may be fired for this, yet am well off, but the truth is the West’s version of democracy isn’t great. Sorry am not wishing to use your thread for political point scoring so will back off. The world in which we live agrees with those that suggest first seen with money, first come! I get your point! But you need to join a political party to overcome these issues. As a point I’m not a Corbyn supporter and will never be one because half my family are Jewish. BUT nevertheless really believe in what you’re saying i.e. basic human something. If it were me ahead of you then yes I’d have handed it to you, though would have headed home wondering if I was a mug! Why is basic human kindness reduced to Mug or Not Mug. So!!!!! Voted that you were being unreasonable because its the society we live in. But understand your upset. Take a deep breath and consider other societies. Much love
Are you on the right thread? It's a second hand baby changing bag... Hmm
tickledtiger · 11/10/2021 21:01

You’ll find something better op.