To think she ought to have let me have it?

[AngeloMysterioso]

On my way home from town yesterday I popped into a charity shop for a browse and they had a lovely baby changing bag. I wanted to buy it but didn’t have the arm space for any more stuff and the woman who ran the shop said they couldn’t keep it for me, so I came back into town this morning to get it.
The charity shop still has a utterly daft one way system so it’s really cramped and today I had the pram. Ahead of me was a woman whose Mum (I presume) was standing next to the bags with a pram while she looked at other stuff. In front of them was someone in a wheelchair so I stood and waited until they could move so I could pick the bag up.
The woman then walks back over to her Mum, spots the bag and picks it up. I said “Oh, I was going to get that, I’ve come back into town for it.”

Now in her position, what I’d have done was said on, here you go, and handed it over. However she just shrugged and said “oh, sorry.” And took it.

AIBU to think that’s a dick move and she should have let me have it?

@00100001 yes that happens all the time. People do know that we have some weird and wonderful stuff and we do have lots more stock out the back. But it's different asking "have you got any Caribbean travel books" to looking for a very specific item.

I spent all last week sorting out a large donation of knitting yarn, bagging it, pricing it. Customer most aggrieved that all of the double knitting yarn was coloured, and the only white was 3 ply. Why didn't we have white double knitting??

@AngeloMysterioso - have you looked on eBay? I don’t know how much the bag in the shop was, but there are a few on there for under £20, inc postage, if that helps.

And her mum was only blocking the route because of a wheelchair in front of her.

OMG I can't believe the responses here!

I'd have let you have it OP

@JesusInTheCabbageVan

Nothing to add - I just really need to find out why the OP couldn't have put her other stuff in the bag! Was the other stuff a chicken, a fox and a bag of grain which you had to get across a river?

This made me laugh so much🤣🤣 Your username is one of my favourite MN names too 🙃

@AngeloMysterioso

What if you had got there first, picked it up, and someone said "Oh I was going to get that, I saw it yesterday" would you have handed it over?

Honestly, yes. I’m not a dick nice like that.

Except you were literally in this situation and are now moaning about it? She also wanted it, otherwise she wouldn’t have bought it, so perhaps you should think you did a nice thing by not tackling it out of her hands? Ffs

My gran always said if you see something in a charity shop you need to grab it there and then cos it most likely won't be there when you go back.

A few months back, I passed my nearest on the way back from the supermarket after it had closed about 6pm. I spotted something that I knew my mum would want and so I told her about it. She confirmed she wanted it and so to make sure I got it for her I was outside the door as the shop opened the next morning to secure it for her.

If things don't happen then they're not meant to be... there'd likely be an issue with it like an unpicked hem/faulty zip/handle would fall off the next time your hands are too full and 'no arm space' a few months alter... that's how I prefer to frame things in my mind when they don't work put ;)

@Biancadelrioisback

Should have told her you'd bagsied it. Thems the rules.

'Bagsy' is a verb you don't hear much anymore. I think I'm going to start using it again.

...might be a bit weird coming from a man my age, but wotthehell.

If you wanted it you could've got it yesterday its a bag not a dolls house.
There is no way if you wanted it that badly you could not have brought it.
You sound very entitled tbh .
The woman was in her rights to buy it if she wants it it isn't reserved for you or anyone else .

@DeireadhFomhair thank you!!

@Threebillygoatsgruff

Tbf you might have been the same before becoming a SAHM

Hihihi. Possibly so.

@00100001

To clarify what I said

Is would have said excuse me and grabbed the bag INSTEAD OF waiting patiently for them to move. Not grab it from their hands!

Sorry I wasn't clear!

I knew what you meant. But I enjoyed the image of you snatching it out of her hands. 😂

Purchase stuff when you see it at the time
Golden rule of chazza shop buying
Rookie error there 🤣

If you'd have been polite then I'd have let you have it. Depends on how you said it, really!? What was your tone like?

@DeireadhFomhair, Oi! I saw her first...

@Somethingsnappy 🥬🥬 cabbages at dawn🤪

[quote DeireadhFomhair]@Somethingsnappy 🥬🥬 cabbages at dawn🤪[/quote]
Name the place!

She might have gone back in to town specifically pick it up too. I seriously doubt it, but she was not being unreasonable. You snooze, you lose.

Sorry I wouldn't have let you have it either !!

One of the PP made a good point - I think a lot would have depended on your tone of voice. Given the tone of the comments made here by OP, I'm going to guess she would have sounded arsey and entitled.

The whole "oh, I wanted that, I've come back into town to buy it" sounds sulky and entitled. That would have gotten my back up tbh. If someone said to me "aaaah yikes, you beat me to it! I'm absolutely desperate for a changing bag - I was just waiting here to grab it as I didn't want to push past. Are you definitely buying it or is there any chance at all I could have it?" I'd probably have been much more inclined to do the other person a favour and let them have it.

BUT - of course in the scenario above, it depends how much I needed a changing bag and how much I loved what I'd just picked up. If I was also in dire need and/or absolutely LOVED the bag then I'd probably apologise and keep it. And generally I'm quite a kind person who likes to make people happy but even so, there are limits.

OP has absolutely no idea whether the other person really needs a changing bag too. Maybe they're in desperate need and grabbed it as soon as they spotted it. Seeing something earlier isn't a way of marking territory 😅

I totally and completely understand being disappointed. I'd be furiously kicking myself for not grabbing the bag sooner, or not buying it yesterday. In other words, I'd be blaming myself for being too slow - blaming the woman who had the audacity to gasp buy something in a shop is an amazingly self-entitled attitude.

@goinggently

OMG I can't believe the responses here!

I'd have let you have it OP

OMG I can't believe you'd let her have it

If he bag was THAT important, you'd have been at the door for it opening this morning...

@JamieNorthlife

I'm with you OP. I hate when this happens. I'm sure the woman did not want to buy it but because you said you wanted, she took it. I have seen this happening so many times. It's infuriating.

Don't worry about it you may find a better one soon.

Really? So many times you have seen people buy an item that they don't want at all, purely to piss of a total stranger? How bizarre.

Shite. Piss off, that should have been, of course

To be fair if I had really really wanted the bag I would have carried it home somehow rather than going back to the shop the next day.

If the bag was something I was neither here nor there about that I had literally just seen, I probably would have given it to you. I hope she actually needs it and uses it and didn't just buy it to be an arse.