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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to cancel Christmas?

175 replies

Bridie20 · 21/09/2021 21:42

For context -
We are due to travel home (150 miles from where we live) for the Christmas period. 19-27th December - our wedding anniversary is within this time. We have booked an Airbnb (where we stayed for our wedding) and planned to host both sets of parents there.

However, since booking this I fell pregnant. Baby is likely to be between 1 and 3 weeks old on 19th December when we’re due to travel back.

AIBU to think we should cancel and just stay at home? I’d be happy for family to come to us if they stayed in a hotel (2 up, 2 down, tiny house- no spare room for guests as it’s in use as a nursery. Tiny kitchen) and we could have picky food, maybe go out for Christmas dinner or whatever.

I’m scared to even ask DH because we’ve been so excited about it, his parents don’t drive and we might spoil Christmas. But I feel like our time as a family unit with our newborn is more important than Christmas? And the idea of packing all that stuff at potentially 1/2/3 weeks postpartum 🤯 never mind having 8 nights away from home with a newborn… eek!

What would you do? FTM so absolutely no experience of travelling with a baby and how easy/hard it is.

OP posts:
Grellbunt · 21/09/2021 21:44

You are so NBU!!! Your birth, your rules. Stay at home.

AllTheCakes · 21/09/2021 21:45

I don’t think many new mothers would be in a position to travel so soon after birth. You will be bleeding, potentially trying to establish breastfeeding, tired and recovering from the birth. I would cancel and not invite anyone over either, enjoy it just with the baby in peace.

KathySelden · 21/09/2021 21:46

Stay at home. You can’t get those first few weeks back and it’s a bit of an emotional rollercoaster too! They should understand.

MadeOfStarStuff · 21/09/2021 21:47

Stay at home! You’re likely to still be recovering from the birth and have a tiny newborn. Stay home, take Christmas as it comes, don’t stress about travelling and hosting.

TellMeItsNotTrue · 21/09/2021 21:49

Better to manage expectations now and allow for a chance in plans, than leave it until the last minute and have everyone upset and nothing can be done about it

Your baby may be really easy going, you may have a simple birth etc, but you won't know until it happens

LolaButt · 21/09/2021 21:49

Yep. Sounds like a recipe for a tearful disaster.

PooWillyNameChange · 21/09/2021 21:49

Stay home. If baby is only one week old you'll have check up appointments to attend and what if you have a caesarean/other birth complications/need breastfeeding support etc? There is no way I'd even contemplate this!n

GroggyLegs · 21/09/2021 21:49

I don't think I'd got out of bed yet 1 week PP with DC1!! I was probably still sobbing about his perfect eyelashes or crying about my poor nipples Grin

You will most likely want & need your own space, your own bed, your shower & sofa.

YA definitely NU.

cloudjumper · 21/09/2021 21:50

Stay at home. You might not even be able to travel, so better be on the safe side. No one should give you a hard time about this!

bumbledeedum · 21/09/2021 21:50

Madness go try travelling with potentially a 7 day old baby! You'll still be under midwife care, it's not uncommon to end up having to visit the hospital for something or other in the days after birth. It's a massive learning curve with your first baby, you'll have more than enough to worry about without traveling or trying to host Christmas. Can't believe neither of your parents have suggested rearranging??

Fernando072020 · 21/09/2021 21:50

No chance I would've been able to travel and even less desire to travel at that stage. I had a tear in my urinery tract, the bleeding, trying to establish breastfeeding, screaming colicky baby.

Definitely cancel. Stay home, stay comfortable and get them to come to you!

Cattitudes · 21/09/2021 21:50

The midwives might be wanting to visit, or even if they aren't it is a good excuse! Will you manage to get some money back? Would your parents be willing to drive his parents? Stay somewhere near you either together or separately. Easter might be a more realistic goal.

jerometheturnipking · 21/09/2021 21:51

I’d be thinking more about it not being appropriate for a newborn to be in a car seat for that length of journey. Is 30 mins not the recommended limit for them before you should be stopping to take them out of their seat from an oxygen sats perspective?

MimiSunshine · 21/09/2021 21:51

Stay at home. Also don’t offer to host. If baby is only 1 week old by the 19th, you may have only just left hospital by that date.

See if you can visit at the end of January at the earliest instead.

SukiPook · 21/09/2021 21:51

Cancel it. The baby will be so wee anyway, you can't have them too long in a car seat at that age. Stay at home and focus on your new baby, you really won't care about Christmas!

Accidentgirlfriend · 21/09/2021 21:52

Yanbu in the slightest and as a ftm you won’t know how you’re going to feel and how your baby is going to fit into your life . You might take to motherhood like a natural but you might not and I can’t think of much worse than to be 8 days away from home at Xmas with a newborn baby .

MordredsOrrery · 21/09/2021 21:52

YAsoNBU! I had an EMCS and day 5 pp became a blubbering wreck of emotions - exec going to the GP surgery was more than I could cope with.

You don't know how it'll go or how you'll be feeling. Give yourself a break from travelling and hosting this Christmas and focus on getting through those early days in peace.

DeepaBeesKit · 21/09/2021 21:52

The baby will be fine but I sincerely doubt you will be up for it at potentially a week pp.

Reality: you may still be bleeding loads, anaemic, absolutely not healed yet if you have any tearing or episiotomy or c section, could have all the fun shit like constipation, football boobs with milk coming in, baby blues.

1-3 weeks pp is when you mainly lie in bed with the baby eating chocolate and watching Netflix.

TheLovleyChebbyMcGee · 21/09/2021 21:52

NBU at all!!! I'm due the 1st if jan and fuck that for a game of soldiers!!

Cattitudes · 21/09/2021 21:52

If you have a caesarean you won't be able to drive. You also need to stop regularly with a newborn.

Sandrine1982 · 21/09/2021 21:53

I can't believe you're even considering this. Cancel now! They will understand. You will know what i mean when the baby comes ;) Good luck xxx

Incywinceyspider · 21/09/2021 21:53

There is no way I could have done this with a 1 week old baby. And I say that as someone who travelled from the North West to Edinburgh when DS was only 7 weeks old.

Newborns are dead easy to travel with (apart from packing half the house and needing to get them out of their car seat every 30 mins). I'd be more worried about you. At 1 week I was still bleeding heavily, was in agony from infected stitches and like an absolute zombie. What if you need a section?

Talk to your husband and his family. I'm sure they'll understand.

DGFB · 21/09/2021 21:53

Stay home. Both sets of parents will be so excited to see the baby they will travel and stay in a hotel and eat pizza.
You need to be at home so soon after birth

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 21/09/2021 21:54

You might still be in hospital if the baby is only a week old! Doesn’t even need to be a big problem for this to happen.

Even if not, you won’t want to be travelling, you may not be physically able to. And forget hosting.

Yes it’s a good idea for them to come and stay near you - offer to pay towards it if you can. And buffet style food is a good idea.

Gorl · 21/09/2021 21:54

Stay at home. You honestly just don’t know how you will feel and it will put so much pressure on you. You need the option to just totally take it easy.

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