AIBU to not want a hairdresser to massage my head?

[Whatamess582]

I go to the hair dresser to have my hair washed cut blowdried and occasionally coloured. By a trained professional.

I go to a trained masseuse for a massage

WHYYYYY does almost every hairdresser (or training assistant…. or whoever washes my hair) now have to massage my head, without asking, when they are conditioning my hair? And why is it up to me to say ‘please don’t’ when they start…. Or to preempt it when I don’t know for absolute certain that they are going to do it and feel really awkward? I really dislike telling people I don’t like what they are doing. Couldn’t they just ask?? Like opt in instead of opt out?

I dislike it so much. The sensation, the noise of my wet hair being massaged… urrrrgh! I don’t ask for it. I don’t think they are trained in it. It’s not pleasant in any way.

Am I the only one who thinks this?

YADBU. That’s the best bit!!

Daft question, but why are people so scared of saying 'please don't give me a head massage', or 'can you please stop as I don't really like that'

Am I missing something here?

I quite like it. I was disappointed on my first trio to the hairdressers in about 5 years, she didn't do it!
I was once offered a hand massage by a professional masseuse while having my har washed. I sort of reluctantly agreed because I felt bad saying no, but it was amazing!

@namemybabyplease

YABU - it's the best part of the haircut and should last longer!

This! I love it!

I never thought that people could dislike it 😂
I find it really relaxing but I suppose it would make sense to ask people beforehand

Could you request when you book that you don't have a head massage? Might be easier than saying it at the time if you feel a bit awkward doing so. I love it but have other things people like that I would feel icky and awkward having done so sympathies!

I find the whole concept weird. Massages, I think, are so intimate that I wouldn't want some random person doing it and paying that person seems even more odd.

In an ideal world I'd get that device from Wayne's world to cut my hair at home in 5 mins and never let anyone in my personal space.

@Bethany7 have you tried something like this?
www.amazon.co.uk/The-Erogenator/dp/B0002GTPCG?tag=mumsnetforu03-21 Again, best if someone else does it, but still good if you do.

OP, I think it's fair enough to say no thanks to the massage. I'm sure you aren't the only client who doesn't like it.

It’s not hard to tell your regular hairdresser you don’t like it massaging. Mine knows and if anyone else washes my hair she just tells them. They aren’t bothered,I’ve been going for a few years, I think they value my custom more than being offended that I don’t want a massage.

Hate it, also hate the wash and the blow dry. I just want my hair cut, that's it. I hunted high and low for a salon that did dry/wet cuts before I found one that I stuck with until lockdown. They've closed down now.
Almost all others its either the whole shaboodle or nowt.

@FrankButchersDickieBow I don’t know about others but I’m not scared of saying don’t do it. I resent having to. It’s weirdly personal and a right liberty.

Oh my! I’d completely forgotten about that. I haven’t been to the hairdressers for 2 years. I’ve sorted out my own trimming conditioning even colouring and it’s never looked better- but I loved the massage.

I always find it hurts - fingers pressing hard into my scalp. I endure it because i feel bad telling the person they are hurting me! Stupid, i know!

I'm in the US, so it might be different, but here hairdressers are usually trained to do a scalp massage. It's part of what they learn, just like a nail tech learns how to do hand and foot massage.

Best bit of the haircut. The bit I hate is the chat. I want silence so I can read.

I hate this too. It is taught in hairdressing college so that is why they do it.

YANBU as you don’t want it!

I would pay extra for a 15 min head massage and love it, but if you don’t then just say, different strokes for different folks and all that!

@Bethany7

I love it so much! However I totally see your point and they should ask. I know my mum doesn't like it either.

On a separate note, perhaps I need go start a thread on this (?!) but I love having my hair played with and genuinely wish I could pay someone to play with my hair! I know that will sound weird to many. I have had a head massage a couple of times but it's not the same as having your hair played with. Unfortunately my little girl gets bored v quickly when playing with my hair!

Same! It's such a rare treat! I would totally pay someone to play with my hair. I sometimes get DH to do it but he gets bored and thinks it's weird but he generally doesn't like a smooth or a massage or anything really. Haha. I wonder if it's a bit similar to ASMR in that some people get enjoyment out of it and some don't?

It's the only part of going to the hairdressers that I actually like!

Of course yanbu. If you don't like it, you don't like it.

Other people liking it doesn't somehow magically change that, no matter how much they might think it does 🙄😁

I am not a massage person at all but I love it when this happens at the hairdresser.

YANBU, I hate it and I hate that it's on me to remember to ask them not to do it. They should ask me if I want it!

Yanbu
Mine has stopped doing it.
Hate it

I agree. Feels unnecessary and slightly odd. My hairdresser wears a ring and it scrapes along my head

I mean what next? Maybe madam would like a foot massage while waiting for the stylist? Of course! No need to ask first! How about a shag up the arse with a styling wand? All perfectly normal! If she doesn’t like it she can just say.