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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH charged me for Steak...but I'm a Veggie!

791 replies

atleastthepoochlovesme · 02/09/2021 20:04

Not irate/upset/annoyed but just wanted to see how others would feel if it were them...

DH is a lovely guy but has his quirks (don't we all). For context, we split the household bills and big purchases 50/50 so he transfers the money into my account on the 1st of each month. For anything else, we just buy what we want/need out of our own money.

A few weeks ago, DH and I had some beauty treatments by a self-employed beautician who has a beauty room at home but is also mobile. I've only visited her a handful of times before, so we're friendly, but not friends. Before we left, she was telling us about other treatments she does, so DH and I booked in for a massage at our home (DH said he would pay as a treat) which took place a couple of days ago. As we were leaving, DH asked her if she liked steak, to which she said yes, so DH told her that he would make a steak dinner for her (DH loves to cook). I thought it was a bit odd offering to make dinner for her when she was coming over to work, but it was a friendly enough gesture by him. Please note this was his gesture, not mine. I would've just given her a tip at the end!

Anyway, the day of the massage arrived; DH went to the butchers and bought the steak. While I was enjoying my massage, he was cooking away in the kitchen. Beautician ate and enjoyed the steak and DH was loving the compliments.

Yesterday morning, 1st of the month, direct debits due, I checked my bank account and found that DH had transferred £20 less than he should have. When I asked him why, he told me, "for the steak!" I wouldn't have minded but I'm a vegetarian so I don't even eat bloody steak!

Yes, he paid for my massage...thought it was a treat, but it cost me £20 in the end. Still a bargain I suppose! What would you think?

OP posts:
Fubitch · 02/09/2021 20:06

Bollocks to that!

HippeePrincess · 02/09/2021 20:07

I’d think you were both very stingy and not committed to be worried about £20

Mamamia7962 · 02/09/2021 20:08

Wouldn't it be easier to just have a joint account instead of faffing about.

Bagamoyo1 · 02/09/2021 20:08

Well if you agreed with his idea of feeding the beautician , then I guess you have to pay your half of the food cost, whatever it is. But I can’t get my head around the idea of a beautician tucking into a steak after doing the massage. It just seems really weird.

ohidoliketobe · 02/09/2021 20:09

Sorry, I can't answer your question about the steak.
I'm still really confused that he cooked a steak dinner for the therapist who had just given you a couples massage... And she just sat and ate it? In your home? Confused

GreyhoundG1rl · 02/09/2021 20:09

All very odd. Both splitting the shopping bills to the penny, and cooking the masseuse a steak dinner.
Incredibly odd, actually.

GetMeOut22 · 02/09/2021 20:09

I think the dynamic is weird, he's fucking weird for cooking the therapist a steak, and you're weird for putting up with it. Also, how is a steak £40?

traintraveller · 02/09/2021 20:10

I think this is all very petty TBH

Taoneusa · 02/09/2021 20:10

Utterly bizarre. Cooking her a steak?! Charging you for it?!

No joint account?!

“Quirks”…hmmmm…

JayAlfredPrufrock · 02/09/2021 20:11

Your life sounds a universe away from mine.

Mynamegone · 02/09/2021 20:11

I’m just interested that you have such a quibble over balancing finances. DH and I have been together so long it literally doesn’t bother me or him if something is in my bank account or his as it feels the same thing.
Quite odd to get her a steak ie seems v special and not just something you could all eat

PolytheneRam · 02/09/2021 20:11

The whole set up is quite frankly bizarre

MichelleScarn · 02/09/2021 20:11

@GetMeOut22

I think the dynamic is weird, he's fucking weird for cooking the therapist a steak, and you're weird for putting up with it. Also, how is a steak £40?
And it's very weird she accepted and ate it!!
Excelthetube · 02/09/2021 20:11

This is so odd. Your DH fed a masseuse steak whilst he watched her eat and you didn’t eat. After she’s come to do a “couples” massage.

Was it that strenuous for her he thought she might need an immediate iron intake ConfusedShock

TakeYourFinalPosition · 02/09/2021 20:12

DH told her that he would make a steak dinner for her

That's absolutely bizarre. Why did he offer to cook? Did she accept but still charge you the full price? Did anyone else eat, or did she arrive, do his massage, do your massage, then eat the steak and leave? I honestly can't visualise this. It seems so odd.

But it was his weird gesture, and he should have paid for it. He can't make weird offers without consulting you and then charge you for half of it.

SummerHouse · 02/09/2021 20:12

So much weird to dissect here.

DismantledKing · 02/09/2021 20:12

What a weird set-up you have

namechange7865 · 02/09/2021 20:13

This is officially the weirdest thread I've seen on MN....

EmmaGrundyForPM · 02/09/2021 20:13

Is this for real?

I can't imagine haggling with my dh over £20. We have an unwritten rule that anything for the house/ household expenses that comes to.more than £200 needs to be discussed first, but the idea of splitting bills down to £20 is really strange.

Excelthetube · 02/09/2021 20:13

Or even more odd.
Did she do a couples massage…and then your DH and the “masseuse” sat and gobbled up a big steak after a happy ending. Whilst you the vegetarian had to stand and watch

Confrontayshunme · 02/09/2021 20:13

That is super weird. I honestly can't think of a single situation where there is a non-nefarious or unweird explanation for feeding a mobile beautician a £40 steak.

PicsInRed · 02/09/2021 20:14

Does he do other things which seem to fuck with your head or is this a one off?

How long have your been together and what are his exs like?

To me, it is really weird that he would go to such lengths to cook his vegetarian girlfriend's beautician wtf why- a steak...then make the gf pay for the steak. That's really not normal behaviour.

HollowTalk · 02/09/2021 20:15

This is like a Channel 4 documentary! Masseuse travels to couple's house to give them some beauty treatments and eat steak. She wasn't wearing one of those masks was she? The one that makes her look like an animal.

Oogachuckachopsy · 02/09/2021 20:15

I'm still really confused that he cooked a steak dinner for the therapist who had just given you a couples massage... And she just sat and ate it? In your home? Confused

🤣 I agree with the above. Weirdest fucking thing ever.

Is your DH new to massages? Does he think you’re all in a polygamous relationship now she’s touched you both?! 😬

Lollypop701 · 02/09/2021 20:15

Honestly the therapist would have preferred the £40 tip