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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH charged me for Steak...but I'm a Veggie!

791 replies

atleastthepoochlovesme · 02/09/2021 20:04

Not irate/upset/annoyed but just wanted to see how others would feel if it were them...

DH is a lovely guy but has his quirks (don't we all). For context, we split the household bills and big purchases 50/50 so he transfers the money into my account on the 1st of each month. For anything else, we just buy what we want/need out of our own money.

A few weeks ago, DH and I had some beauty treatments by a self-employed beautician who has a beauty room at home but is also mobile. I've only visited her a handful of times before, so we're friendly, but not friends. Before we left, she was telling us about other treatments she does, so DH and I booked in for a massage at our home (DH said he would pay as a treat) which took place a couple of days ago. As we were leaving, DH asked her if she liked steak, to which she said yes, so DH told her that he would make a steak dinner for her (DH loves to cook). I thought it was a bit odd offering to make dinner for her when she was coming over to work, but it was a friendly enough gesture by him. Please note this was his gesture, not mine. I would've just given her a tip at the end!

Anyway, the day of the massage arrived; DH went to the butchers and bought the steak. While I was enjoying my massage, he was cooking away in the kitchen. Beautician ate and enjoyed the steak and DH was loving the compliments.

Yesterday morning, 1st of the month, direct debits due, I checked my bank account and found that DH had transferred £20 less than he should have. When I asked him why, he told me, "for the steak!" I wouldn't have minded but I'm a vegetarian so I don't even eat bloody steak!

Yes, he paid for my massage...thought it was a treat, but it cost me £20 in the end. Still a bargain I suppose! What would you think?

OP posts:
SummerHouse · 02/09/2021 20:15

I normally tip the hairdresser but maybe I will offer to grill her some garlic prawns next time.

LaikO · 02/09/2021 20:16

Yep, weird.

00100001 · 02/09/2021 20:16

You do whatever works for you about splitting money.

But it's weird he expects you to pay for her steak Confused

Confused102 · 02/09/2021 20:17

I would find your financial arrangement such a put off. Bizarre and odd.

Peanutsandchilli · 02/09/2021 20:18

Your post is utterly bizarre. Who lives like this?!

ohidoliketobe · 02/09/2021 20:18

Having reflected on this thread, I'm definitely taking my hairdresser a nice little steak and chips into my next appointment on a silver platter

Excelthetube · 02/09/2021 20:19

@Confused102
JUST the financial arrangement!!!???

Bluntness100 · 02/09/2021 20:19

I’m not gonna lie that comes across as proper sex people. Who the hell has someone come to their house to give them a massage rhen cooks them a steak dinner,,then argues about who pays.,,😂

TeapotCollection · 02/09/2021 20:19

£20 for ONE steak 😮

lannistunut · 02/09/2021 20:19

I just wouldn't have the energy to have to think about money this much.

But if you do think about money this much, he IBU charging you for something you don't eat.

Oblomov21 · 02/09/2021 20:19

I seriously wouldn't like this way of living. Petty. But then we've only ever had a joint account.

LadyFannyButton · 02/09/2021 20:19

For anything else, we just buy what we want/need out of our own money

He wanted her (weirdly) to have the steak dinner so he should have used his money for it.
Why did he take £20 off you? Was that the whole amount for the steak dinner or half? Just wondering if he’d actually paid for any of it.

ReeseWitherfork · 02/09/2021 20:19

Everything about your post seems odd to me. Your financial set up, the post massage steak, the pettiness of £20.

WhyOhWhyOhWhyyyy · 02/09/2021 20:19

So much to unpick here…

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 02/09/2021 20:19

I think your finances are fucking weird and he's a mean, stingy weirdo. Who does he think he is promising dinner to someone then making you pay for it? What is his malfunction?

namechange202086 · 02/09/2021 20:20

I would think he wanted a three some. Seems odd making her steak after a romantic massage...

Aprilx · 02/09/2021 20:21

Is this one of those book plot threads? I don’t recognise the book yet though.

lunar1 · 02/09/2021 20:21

What kind of paid for massage ends in a steak dinner!

Bluntness100 · 02/09/2021 20:21

@namechange202086

I would think he wanted a three some. Seems odd making her steak after a romantic massage...
Yup. Sex people. No one cooks a steak for someone doing a professional massage, oddest thing I’ve ever read on here 😂😂😂
Bancha · 02/09/2021 20:22

I’m trying to picture the beautician sitting down in your house, eating a steak alone, while your DH enjoys the compliments.
After she’s given you both a massage. But I can’t picture it, at all. My brain can’t do it!

LimeRedBanana · 02/09/2021 20:22

OMG.

Seriously?

You’re sharing this on a public forum….?

GeorgiaMcGraw · 02/09/2021 20:22

@GetMeOut22

I think the dynamic is weird, he's fucking weird for cooking the therapist a steak, and you're weird for putting up with it. Also, how is a steak £40?
Yes, this. OP, the masseuse didn't drop her keys in a bowl on the way in did she? I'm surprised you didn't all have fondue for dinner...
MrsTulipTattsyrup · 02/09/2021 20:22

@Bluntness100

I’m not gonna lie that comes across as proper sex people. Who the hell has someone come to their house to give them a massage rhen cooks them a steak dinner,,then argues about who pays.,,😂
Agree, this only makes sense if the OP is the OP, the DH is really a FWB and the masseuse is really their threesome partner.

Otherwise, all the things about this setup are nuts.

Excelthetube · 02/09/2021 20:23

It can’t have just been one steak.

Were there at least grilled mushrooms, creamed spinach and pomme frites with it?

Excelthetube · 02/09/2021 20:24

Oh and a peppercorn sauce? Please tell me there was a peppercorn sauce!

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