AIBU to be asked to reframe my trauma by the trans CEO of Scottish Rape Crisis?

[herewegogc]

The CEO of Edinburgh Rape Crisis has said "Sexual violence happens to bigoted people too. But if you bring beliefs that are discriminatory, expect to be challenged on your prejudice. Reframe your trauma"

Apparently, survivors are to be "educated" in this service.

forwomen.scot/10/08/2021/the-real-crisis-at-rape-crisis-scotland/

Tonight is a really tough one. Women who have been raped or sexually assaulted need females to listen to them. Rape Crisis was that service and used to offer trauma based therapy.

I don't need educating - I know that detailing my experience to a man, or a transwomen is NEVER something I will do.

This is too much.

@herewegogc

In the spirit of AIBU - my question is - should we, as females, just shut up in the spirit of kindness? Or should we, as survivors, say no, we will not allow our experiences to be dismissed and 'reframed'?

No we can’t shut up anymore. We can have women’s rights taking steps backwards because it benefits another group. We can be kind and “inclusive” until we reach the point of women’s rights be affected.

@Falcor

I am an non-British raging feminist. I honestly don't understand the anger against trans women and I think it is misplaced. It is men we should be angry with

You haven't read the article, have you? Just plopped down a random statement because you think we can't possibly have a grasp of the issues.

Try reading the article. Then you might understand.

To the women impacted by this, I’m just so sorry.

How dare this prick get away with it.

This is appalling.

What does reframing trauma even mean.
What are they suggesting In practice?

@PickAChew

Yanbu at all.

And reframe has become my most detested word of this week.

I’d imagine that if there were a manual on gaslighting, the word “reframe” would be found frequently in it.

@Falcor

I am an non-British raging feminist. I honestly don't understand the anger against trans women and I think it is misplaced. It is men we should be angry with

Maybe try empathising with a rape victim for whom coming into contact with any male bodied individual is traumatic. Good starting point for you to rethink this.

@Falcor

I am an non-British raging feminist. I honestly don't understand the anger against trans women and I think it is misplaced. It is men we should be angry with

Erm……….

@Whatinthelord

What does reframing trauma even mean. What are they suggesting In practice?

They mean women who have been raped being forced to comply with the ideological belief that a person with a penis can be a woman.

Therefore, being examined after sexual assault by someone with a penis, sharing a room in a refuge with someone with a penis, or recounting your trauma to a counsellor with a penis, must be accepted under pain of being called a bigot and transphobe, if the penis person says that they are a woman.

Appalling. I’m so effing angry but I Thank you for this thread OP.

@Falcor

I honestly don't understand the anger against trans women and I think it is misplaced. It is men we should be angry with.

It is men we should be angry with.

It is men we should be angry with.

It is men we should be angry with.

It is men we should be angry with.

It is men we should be angry with.

Have a wee think about what you've just said.

Also try reading the article.

@gimmenachos your lack of need of a woman to talk to shouldn't mean that no woman doesn't get to talk to another female person. Aren't you doing exactly the same as what the OP was highlighting?

No woman doesn't get the option to talk to...

@GCAcademic so it’s got nothing to do with therapeutic support for the individual who has suffered trauma. It’s focused on the needs of the workers and specifically trans workers and their need/want to be accepted into that work space?

Even if I thought it was appropriate for men/people with penises (it’s so bizarre I have to add that) to do this type of work….why would addressing this with someone in the midst of trauma be in any way appropriate.

It blows my mind.

@GCacademic I was told to reframe something, a few days ago, by a (pissed as a fart) man objecting to me wanting people (mostly vulnerable women) to not be fleeced by a predatory chancer.

Having looked through the whole transcript I'm on the fence. The CEO sounds like Wadhwa - god I am sick of how far we have to dance around language designed for collective communication all the time to satisfy individual ego - has reasonable intentions, although the only real judge of that is time. However Wadhwa DOES NOT understand how male Wadhwa is, Wadhwa does not understand women's experience and Wadhwa does not see that Wadhwa is always automatically assuming that his experiences and feelings are more hurt by similar - or frankly, much lesser - experiences than a woman's. In that Wadhwa is aided and abetted by the inherent misogyny of the culture Wadhwa admits "is a man's world",. which makes the woman involved state the same thing, that the threats women face are minimal and so less important. I have only recently realised how I have always put my dh's identical experiences of living with poverty above my own. Wadhwa has no idea about the level of threat women live with everyday and is minimising it as much as possible.

Whatever Wadhwa's intentions, Wadhwa is showing to me that males really don't comprehend the issue at all. I don't know how Indian cultural experiences feed into it all, and Wadhwa is not giving me any reason for building trust. I resent the implication that women in vulnerable stressed states caused by men NEED to trust that men are doing the right thing, and resent the way Wadhwa is utterly failing to grasp that.

How did I do on the language issue??

@Falcor

I am an non-British raging feminist. I honestly don't understand the anger against trans women and I think it is misplaced. It is men we should be angry with

Then maybe you need to do a bit more reading and thinking.

I’m angry with men who have decided to take it upon themselves as it suits them to redefine what being a woman is

And that has been based purely on their feelings

Male entitlement is dictating female safety and our right to our safe spaces and how we are defined

Do you think so few women/females could create so much much change in such a short space of time? Would we fuck

It was honestly not my intention to upset anyone. I still think it is strange to think that people that go through a lot of pain to identify and come out as trans have,
some ulterior motive.

"NO"

There is a clear statement from me that I'd hope would listened to by anyone, not least an organisation designed to support women who are victims of male sexual violence.

If rape crisis can't hear women's "no" then what is the fucking point of them?

I say "NO".

PickAChew

You are definitely right. I hope you will follow your own advice.

@PickUpAPepper

How did I do on the language issue??

you've still got a rogue "bad" pronoun in there, sorry