AIBU to be asked to reframe my trauma by the trans CEO of Scottish Rape Crisis?

[herewegogc]

The CEO of Edinburgh Rape Crisis has said "Sexual violence happens to bigoted people too. But if you bring beliefs that are discriminatory, expect to be challenged on your prejudice. Reframe your trauma"

Apparently, survivors are to be "educated" in this service.

forwomen.scot/10/08/2021/the-real-crisis-at-rape-crisis-scotland/

Tonight is a really tough one. Women who have been raped or sexually assaulted need females to listen to them. Rape Crisis was that service and used to offer trauma based therapy.

I don't need educating - I know that detailing my experience to a man, or a transwomen is NEVER something I will do.

This is too much.

How was she providing therapy when she has no qualifications in delivering therapy?

I'm not sure this has been clarified and this was an account posted on MN anonymously. What we do know for sure is that MW claims to see 4 survivors a week "to stay connected to the cause" MW quote.

think the key is that questioning whether or not wanting a specific gender/sex therapist is transphobic also misses the point a little

I disagree that is "missing the point". It is the heart of the matter that women reasonably and understandably not wanting to talk to male people about being raped are being smeared as bigots, by MW and all the empathy-lacking people who support this attack on female boundaries, safety, privacy and dignity.

The thread is filling up - shall we have another one?

This is the same logic that people who support TRAs but balk at calling people transphobic when they don't want a partner who has the wrong sex use "everyone has the right to consent, even if they are racist, homophobic, sexist, fat phobic, ableist reasons."

That is not the point, and it obscures the homophobia in the insistence that lesbians who reject MTF trans people are transphobic, but it's ok they should have the right to refuse consent to individuals.

This is not about MW's gender identity. This is because MW is male.

Happy to post on one if others want it, OP

If she is then I believe her registering body would be keen to hear about her discussing how bigoted some rape victims are and the need to correct their views.

No they won’t, because any objections against a transwoman will be met will cries of transphobia.

The next thread needs voting enabled.

Yes good idea re new thread with voting enabled

@Ereshkigalangcleg

think the key is that questioning whether or not wanting a specific gender/sex therapist is transphobic also misses the point a little

I disagree that is "missing the point". It is the heart of the matter that women reasonably and understandably not wanting to talk to male people about being raped are being smeared as bigots, by MW and all the empathy-lacking people who support this attack on female boundaries, safety, privacy and dignity.

I meant in terms of it being the wrong question to focus on, because whether someone is transphobic or not shouldn’t matter. Why focus on whether or not someone is phobic when they should be entitled to care anyway?

It shouldn’t matter whether someone is transphobic or not (and that isn’t something everyone is universally in agreement of anyway), they still deserve access to therapy.

2nd thread here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4321939-2nd-thread-AIBU-to-be-asked-to-reframe-my-trauma-by-the-trans-CEO-of-Scottish-Rape-Crisis

with voting

I think a second thread with voting enabled is a good idea. I think the title needs to be very clearly worded.

I meant in terms of it being the wrong question to focus on, because whether someone is transphobic or not shouldn’t matter. Why focus on whether or not someone is phobic when they should be entitled to care anyway?

fWIW. I asked the question. But if you look back you will see I have argued pretty much your take on this back up the thread to someone who supported MW. So, I think I am comfortable with the wider picture. I was asking, simply out of interest on that one point for my own understanding on your opinions. Which in this instance seems in keeping with my own. Thanks for answering again.

Anyway.

for all who have survived this violence. And thoughts to those who have not.

YANBU - OP this is absolute lunacy, I feel your pain and frustration!!! I can’t believe in 2021 this can happen, it’s a backwards step for women kind in the name of a woke agenda and political correctness. How can we fight this??

Owl and Fox are activists, aren't they? Fairly sure they were on the "stop Hachette from publishing JKR's work" bandwagon.

@Helleofabore

I meant in terms of it being the wrong question to focus on, because whether someone is transphobic or not shouldn’t matter. Why focus on whether or not someone is phobic when they should be entitled to care anyway?

fWIW. I asked the question. But if you look back you will see I have argued pretty much your take on this back up the thread to someone who supported MW. So, I think I am comfortable with the wider picture. I was asking, simply out of interest on that one point for my own understanding on your opinions. Which in this instance seems in keeping with my own. Thanks for answering again.

Anyway.

for all who have survived this violence. And thoughts to those who have not.

Yeah sorry, I should have been clear my point wasn’t arguing against anything you said, I meant it as a stand-alone but related to the question about whether it’s transphobic if that makes sense? I believe we’re on the same page! And you’re not wrong to ask and to be curious about my view at all, I meant more that as therapists it’s wrong to focus on whether someone is or isn’t transphobic as even if they are it shouldn’t make a difference :)

@ThumbWitchesAbroad

Owl and Fox are activists, aren't they? Fairly sure they were on the "stop Hachette from publishing JKR's work" bandwagon.

They are both activists. Yes.

I have a recollection from another thread about MW that a poster said they had had therapy from MW and that MW had laughed when she was talking about the rape. Also that MW had been scrolling on their phone in the session. MW has no interest whatsoever in helping anyone but MW.

Also remember that poster. Hope she's doing ok despite having had to deal with someone so disrespectful.

@nolongersurprised

If she is then I believe her registering body would be keen to hear about her discussing how bigoted some rape victims are and the need to correct their views.

No they won’t, because any objections against a transwoman will be met will cries of transphobia.

As has already happened. Here is MW lying about something, and calling it “transphobia” when it wasn’t even about MW:

mobile.twitter.com/mridul_wadhwa/status/1425926466806722562

I meant in terms of it being the wrong question to focus on, because whether someone is transphobic or not shouldn’t matter. Why focus on whether or not someone is phobic when they should be entitled to care anyway?

Because the dismissing of this point as "i the reason doesn't matter, even bigots are entitled to support" is why we've got to a situation where a male person who appears to have no empathy for women and girls is managing a pivotal rape crisis centre, being feted as an inspirational activist, and setting government and other wider policy on this issue and others.

@Ereshkigalangcleg

I meant in terms of it being the wrong question to focus on, because whether someone is transphobic or not shouldn’t matter. Why focus on whether or not someone is phobic when they should be entitled to care anyway?

Because the dismissing of this point as "i the reason doesn't matter, even bigots are entitled to support" is why we've got to a situation where a male person who appears to have no empathy for women and girls is managing a pivotal rape crisis centre, being feted as an inspirational activist, and setting government and other wider policy on this issue and others.

I was replying to someone who asked if I would deem someone transphobic for not wanting a trans counsellor. Not saying anything about the CEO’s assertion that ‘even bigots are sexually assaulted’. Which is a deplorable thing to say and not at all what I’m saying.

I find myself wondering - is there an example of a male who has assumed a position of power in a woman's role, and done a good job for women?

I think GC people tend to pick up such appointments whenever they happen, and every time, the person in question seems to be quite an unpleasant piece of work. Have we missed one who was brilliantly empathic to women and did a good job for them?

I guess any transwomen who were empathic to women wouldn't insert themselves into such a role, so we only end up seeing bad individuals.

I was replying to someone who asked if I would deem someone transphobic for not wanting a trans counsellor.

You said it wasn't the point. I am saying it very much is the point, and people saying "anyone, however prejudiced should have the right to be centred in their care and not be judged" (which of course is true) avoids this point. It is not the same for a woman to want female only care as it is for someone to want to only deal with white people, for whatever reason. Female only care for rape survivors is a perfectly reasonable thing to request, and expect in a supposedly female only service as they claim it is.

I find myself wondering - is there an example of a male who has assumed a position of power in a woman's role, and done a good job for women?

I think GC people tend to pick up such appointments whenever they happen, and every time, the person in question seems to be quite an unpleasant piece of work. Have we missed one who was brilliantly empathic to women and did a good job for them?

I guess any transwomen who were empathic to women wouldn't insert themselves into such a role, so we only end up seeing bad individuals.

Not that I know of. People who respect boundaries tend to be more empathetic to people's needs.

Pondering on all this and a thought comes to mind: are there refuges / rape crisis centres for trans men? As people of the female sex, they are fundamentally women and can be raped and can need support. But if they've taken testosterone, had 'top' surgery, have facial hair etc their presence could be very triggering for other victims seeking support?

Everything I ever read on the subject of gender identity leads me to a similar conclusion: in vulnerable spaces that are (or should be) sex-segregated, we need FOUR separate spaces. Women, Men, Trans Women and Trans Men. Are the identities of trans women and trans men really so fragile that they HAVE to be included in the services intended for people of the same gender but the opposite biological sex?

But then I suppose you have the non-binary folk, who as far as I can work out have a biological sex but don't conform to gender stereotypes and need some special label to describe that. Would they then argue that they fit into none of the above four categories and thus need even MORE separate spaces?

Sometimes I just think the world has gone totally mad. I could get fired from my job for saying that biological sex matters. Not something I thought would ever be a possibility 10 years ago!