AIBU to be asked to reframe my trauma by the trans CEO of Scottish Rape Crisis?

[herewegogc]

The CEO of Edinburgh Rape Crisis has said "Sexual violence happens to bigoted people too. But if you bring beliefs that are discriminatory, expect to be challenged on your prejudice. Reframe your trauma"

Apparently, survivors are to be "educated" in this service.

forwomen.scot/10/08/2021/the-real-crisis-at-rape-crisis-scotland/

Tonight is a really tough one. Women who have been raped or sexually assaulted need females to listen to them. Rape Crisis was that service and used to offer trauma based therapy.

I don't need educating - I know that detailing my experience to a man, or a transwomen is NEVER something I will do.

This is too much.

No, thank you!

That’s an awful statement. It’s akin to the head of an NHS hospital saying that racists get in car crashes too and they should expect to be challenged on their beliefs to “reframe their trauma”. Utterly insidious.
The CEO should be sacked for such violation of the Hippocratic Oath.

Fuck no

Endoftheline - yes and I was one of those children. There was a scene in one of the recent Handmaid's Tale episodes where the women were corralled in a prison like building. And they all held hands and whispered to each other. That was me and my siblings - we developed a special language so my stepfather, sexually and physically abusive, couldn't hear. I grew up thinking that there was a consensus about violence against women (much as that still astounds me that it is accepted, like it is inevitable, like a weather event) but now - that is all being swept away in the name of inclusivity. How is inclusivity real when it excludes our female experience? I am so tired of fighting tonight. Tomorrow is another day.

The second time I've read this quote and I want to cry with sadness for women. I also feel absolute rage

I prefer a female doctor, a female plumber, a female dentist, a female counsellor, a female postperson, a female repair person, a female manageress of a restaurant....

I got to the stage where I was so sick of the smart remarks/everyday sexism/bullying from some men (obviously not all) that really don't see why I should associate with them, unless I absolutely have to.

Especially not if I'm using my hard earned money to pay for a service.

We are not obliged to associate with organisations that don't align with our values, unless we absolutely have ot.

And my values are, I would rather associate and support women.

This individual should not be near vulnerable women.

Women and girls deserve so so so much better

And I will certainly never allow anyone to call me a cis woman.

I'm a woman. Full stop.

YANBU at all.

Shudder.

I am so sorry and angry that this person's words are retraumatising women.

I honestly want to vomit reading that. That is despicable!

Women who have been raped by men COULDN'T GIVE A FUCK HOW YOU, A MALE BODIED PERSON, IDENTIFY. That does NOT make them a bigot.

Signed, a rape survivor and sexual assault trained Advanced Nurse Practitioner.

I don't really understand what they mean about reframing your trauma?

And to think that the is organization will be getting taxpayer funding. Women, let your views be known about this. It is unacceptable that taxpayers should be funding an institution like this with someone with such views in charge.

God this is appalling.

I thought we were supposed to be validating survivors’ feelings and trauma, their experiences, not gaslighting them and telling them to “reframe their trauma”, whatever that means.

YANBU.

No-one, but no-one, should have to “reframe their trauma” for the convenience of others.

@MNHQ, please don’t move this. It needs to be talked about rather than banished to a far flung corner.

I prefer a female doctor, a female plumber, a female dentist, a female counsellor, a female postperson, a female repair person, a female manageress of a restaurant....

I got to the stage where I was so sick of the smart remarks/everyday sexism/bullying from some men (obviously not all) that really don't see why I should associate with them, unless I absolutely have to.

I realised I was at this point over lockdown. The break from shitty men has been a revelation.

@Potatoy

I don't really understand what they mean about reframing your trauma?

It means not being traumatised by being forced to talk about it with a man.

I have asked @MNHQ not to move this thread. I know that AIBU can be a clusterfuck. But really not this time. As I said - REFRAME MY TRAUMA. No, I won't. I can't. We have had conversations at work about gender neutral toilets and I can"t. It is not that I won't. I can't,

This is really shocking and horrific. How is this person allowed to stay in this position.

This is awful. Words fail me.

Fuck that. REFRAME YOUR TRAUMA and acknowledge your privilege of course.
I mean don't you know the people at the centre of a rape crisis centre and who need the most validation and comfort are the staff like this CEO?

Reframing your trauma should mean to support yourself not to feel guilt, shame, embarrassment about being abused- it's to place the responsibility on the abuser and away from yourself. The phrase is being used in this case to suggest that abused women stop being so bloody picky about the sex of the person supporting them. Which is clearly bollocks because if an abused woman wants to be supported by another woman th

then fair enough

Posted too soon.