To lock the jackass in (parking thread)

[BlueEyesWhiteDragon]

I live in a rural location which is very popular with walkers / bikers / horse riders etc. It's heaving today for some unknown reason as the weather is rubbish!

We have 2 driveways. One which was with the original cottage then a small bit of garden then a second which leads to the additional land we have. The second driveway the forestry commission have a ROW over as the track continues up into the forest. Next to that driveway is a footpath. Both driveways have gates at either end and both say private property/dogs running loose. (Diagram attached - not to scale!)

I have just had a straw delivery and so opened the second driveway gates to let the farmer in and trundled round the back to show him where to put them. He's unloaded and driven off and I've gone to lock the gates back up. Literally as he's driven off and I'm walking down a guy has pulled in the gates and parked up and 3 kids have jumped out and he started unloading their bikes.

I politely ask him to move as he's on private land and he says there are no signs he thought it was a parking spot. I say they are on the gate and it's clearly an enclosed piece of land that is not a parking space and he says he couldn't see them as the gates were open but he'll only be a few minutes. No problem, I say, I'll pop back and shut the gates in 5. Off I toddle.

I have returned and his car is still there and he has gone. He has left a note on the windscreen which says "had to park here no other spaces". I mean WTF?!

WIBU to shut the gates, padlock the fucker in, block the gates with my truck AND then disappear for at least 48 hours?

[1AngelicFruitCake]

Please lock the gate then update!

[2ndtimemum2]

Also op I hope when your cleaning out the stables that some horse manure doesn't 'accidentally' fall on the car

[Hankunamatata]

Possible cover the car in mud/manure that you happen to be spraying

[BlueEyesWhiteDragon]

See I idiotically left the scene allowing him to disappear off for a bike ride without having to be blatent about it which was a schoolgirl error.

[LakieLady]

Yes, definitely lock the gates! Go out or don't answer the door.

Have you got cctv so you can laugh at him fuming when he can't get out?

And make a note of his reg no in case he does any damage trying to get out.

[billy1966]

Absolutely do it.
Super diagram.

[DrinkFeckArseGirls]

What a prick. What if you were going away for holidays

[Sallycinnamum]

What an entitled prick. Definitely lock him in.

You gave him fair warning so tough luck.

Thanks for this thread OP. Has really cheered me up this morning!

[jackstini]

As long as the forestry commission have keys for their ROW access I would 100% lock him in

It would be a shame if they needed access today and had him towed....

[Hankunamatata]

Your mission op

1. Let tyres down (ob not causing damage so they just need reinflated).
2. Cover with mud/manure

Both these will.need him to.do something

1. Lock the gate and watch him squirn

[3scape]

You've been hard at it. You definitely deserve a day out somewhere you enjoy. Be sure to lock up.

[LakieLady]

It would be dreadful if you had to take one of the horses out and it kicked his car, wouldn't it?

[Hankunamatata]

@jackstini

As long as the forestry commission have keys for their ROW access I would 100% lock him in

It would be a shame if they needed access today and had him towed....

Oow do you have friends at Forrest commission

[changingstages]

You definitely should but only if you are somehow able to spy on his reaction and update us too.

[DrinkFeckArseGirls]

I wouldn’t let the tyres down, that would not speed up him driving away eventually!

I would block him in till late in the evening though.

[crazycatgal]

You told him that you were going to lock the gates and he then decided to leave the car there. Definitely lock the gates.

[xyzandabc]

You told him you would come back in 5 mins to lock the gate. That's exactly what you do. You can't leave your property unsecured as you're going out for the day.

He was warned. He chose to ignore it.

If you're feeling charitable, leave a note on his car, 'Sorry had to lock gate, back later'

[mamaoffourdc]

Block him in - hopefully there is no exit through the stables

[DentonsFringeArnottsWaistcoat]

I am stunned that people like this exist. How do they get to this point?

[icelollycraving]

This is everything. Please do it. They have bikes. Unless he has really tiny children, then I might lurk.

[ajandjjmum]

Leave a note saying 'Unfortunately for you my life doesn't revolve around availability of parking spaces for your vehicle. As I told you, I had to lock the gate, and agreed to return in five minutes to do so, only to find that you had taken advantage of my consideration. I will return later and will happily unlock the gate for you to remove your vehicle from my property, but in the meantime I have to comply with the insurer's requirements for locked gates and CCTV to ensure that my policy is not compromised'.

[Rogue1001]

I love spotting a parking thread early

Excellent diagram

settles in

[Gardentiger]

Lock the gates. What a twat

[BlueEyesWhiteDragon]

There's absolutely now way he can get out if I block him. The top gate has one of those massive iron barrier things behind our gate. He could I suppose ram the front gate with his car (its Ford ranger so could probably take it down) but not if my truck (defender) is in the way and drive 2 doesn't join up with drive 1 unless he smahses through a brick wall and drives over my garden...

DB has suggested that a more exciting game might be to tow his car to a parking spot in the parking area and deny all knowledge of it ever being left on our track......

[HoneysuckIejasmine]

Blatant placemark.

I greatly enjoyed a video I saw a while ago of a farmer spraying manure on his field. A car came and parked on the field, literally on it, and they walked off, whilst he was spraying. He simply carried on spraying. The car was going to be in need of a serious clean afterwards, maybe a respray depending on the slurry. Oops. 🤷🏻‍♀️