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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Using someone en-suite without asking

136 replies

FawnFrenchieMum · 28/07/2021 22:35

Would you be upset (maybe miffed rather then upset) if a family member (who doesn’t live in your house in case it makes a difference) needed to use a sink (not an emergency) and as someone was in the main bathroom decided to use your en-suite sink instead?

For reference, three story house. Living room on middle floor with DS’s bedroom plus en-suite, kitchen & downstairs toilet on the bottom floor, main bathroom, DD’s bedroom and master bedroom with en-suite on the top floor.

Person went from the living room upstairs to use the sink (personally I’d have gone downstairs) found the bathroom engaged and entered our bedroom and used out sink.

AIBU to think this is rude / not the done thing? Would it make a difference depending on who it was?

OP posts:
Hotcuppatea · 28/07/2021 22:37

Unless they were washing their muddy boots in there, I really couldn't get worked up about this.

Nicknacky · 28/07/2021 22:38

I can’t see an issue with this. What is concerning you?

chnahingnameagain · 28/07/2021 22:40

Yeah I wouldn't like someone going in to my en suite to use the sink when it's not an emergency. There's a toilet downstairs, so would make sense to go there.

LtDansleg · 28/07/2021 22:41

Of course I wouldn’t have a problem. What’s the issue with a family member popping into the en suite when the main bathrooms engaged? Did they take a shit in the sink??

Carrotinthesky · 28/07/2021 22:42

If it was family I wouldn't mind at all.

MakeCrisps · 28/07/2021 22:42

I think if there was a loo with a sink available, I'd expect them to use that.as first choice, but a family member can have the run of the house afaic

5475878237NC · 28/07/2021 22:43

I wouldn't want someone seeing my sanitary wear and other unmentionables drying on the side and would rather they used the downstairs toilet.

ShakespearesSisters · 28/07/2021 22:45

My ensuite needs a good clean (communal areas get priority) as does my bedroom, its covered with piles of clean laundry, and general clutter as it gets sacrificed for the rest of the house tidy. I keep the door to my room shut. I'd hate anyone to go in there. We also have a family bathroom, a downstairs cloakroom and a kitchen sink for hand washing.

Tinpotspectator · 28/07/2021 22:46

It is quite obviously an invasion of privacy. I wouldn't mind overly, but it would be very odd not to ask you first.

ToffeeForEveryone · 28/07/2021 22:46

I think it's really rude to go into someone's bedroom without asking, even if you are family. The whole point of an en-suite is that it's private surely?

YANBU

Original poster
FawnFrenchieMum · 28/07/2021 22:46

I guess I just see my bedroom and en-suite as a personal space. Somewhere I can leave my stalls (or not so smalls) laying around if I wish. Also have my personal medical equipment by the loo etc

But no they didn’t wash muddy boots or take a shit in the sink Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
FawnFrenchieMum · 28/07/2021 22:47

Smalls* not stalls although I guess they could probably be used as stalls these days!

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 28/07/2021 22:50

This is extremely rude. You do not enter your host's bedroom without permission, ever.

Buckleyourseatbelt · 28/07/2021 22:50

I probably wouldn’t do it myself, but equally wouldn’t mind if someone else did.

userchange902 · 28/07/2021 22:54

I wouldn't say anything but I would HATE that, not even my children (or husband!) go in our en-suite, it is very much understood it is mine. And it's certainly not as clean as the other bathrooms so not guest ready 😂 my bedroom feels really private, would feel very strange about someone wondering in it.

Nicknacky · 28/07/2021 22:56

@userchange902 Dies your husband and children all have their own bathrooms/toilets.

Nicknacky · 28/07/2021 22:57

@userchange902 I got distracted while posting lol! “Does”, not dies?

titchy · 28/07/2021 22:58

Not sure I'd be bothered if it was family tbh. And I guess having shlepped up one flight of stairs, they didn't want to then traipse down two flights to wash whatever then back up another flight to return.

idontlikealdi · 28/07/2021 22:59

Sounds like a lot of stairs. If they had to walk through my bedroom I'd be a bit why would you do that?

HelloDulling · 28/07/2021 22:59

In your house, there is no bathroom on the floor where you entertain guests, so they had to either go up or down to use a bathroom. The family/main bathroom is a valid choice. They went up, found the bathroom engaged and used another one on the same floor. Do you think they should have walked down two flights and then back up again to the sitting room?

Original poster
FawnFrenchieMum · 28/07/2021 23:01

@titchy

Not sure I'd be bothered if it was family tbh. And I guess having shlepped up one flight of stairs, they didn't want to then traipse down two flights to wash whatever then back up another flight to return.
They could have just waited a few mins for my DD to finish on the loo.
OP posts:
userchange902 · 28/07/2021 23:02

@Nicknacky they use the family bathroom or downstairs toilet, it has a separate shower too so nothing the en-suite doesn't have, DH gets up very early for work so it's always been easier for him to use the main bathroom to get ready. I live in a house of boys and my one request was my own bathroom which they've indulged me! I know it'll sound ridiculous on mumsnet...but there we go. So yeah no wandering guests would be welcome Blush

NichyNoo · 28/07/2021 23:02

Just can’t be arsed with making a problem out of this. My family walk freely around my house. I’ve nothing to hide - no chained up captives in random bedrooms or dildos left out in random en suites. Maybe I live a boring life but I’ve nothing to hide so don’t really care which rooms family or friends walk into.

Original poster
FawnFrenchieMum · 28/07/2021 23:03

@HelloDulling

In your house, there is no bathroom on the floor where you entertain guests, so they had to either go up or down to use a bathroom. The family/main bathroom is a valid choice. They went up, found the bathroom engaged and used another one on the same floor. Do you think they should have walked down two flights and then back up again to the sitting room?
Personally I’d always go downstairs to someone’s guest toilet rather then up to a main bathroom but personally I’d have just waited for the main bathroom to become free if I’d already gone upstairs.
OP posts:
SirYawnsAlot · 28/07/2021 23:03

Did they need a tog? Maybe they wanted a bit of privacy.

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