WWYD if your neighbour said this?

[breakingupslowly]

New neighbour - man in his 50s/60s, lives alone. I’ve seen him a few times but he’s never acknowledged my presence despite me smiling and saying hello. Fair enough, I don’t mind him keeping himself to himself.

BUT he eventually found his voice and the first thing he asked was “how old is your daughter?”

I was instantly like 😐 I asked him why he asked? Then he said he’d got teenage daughters and asked if I’d like some of their old bags for her to use for playing dressing up. I politely declined but he handed them over the fence anyway. Really ugly, old fashioned clutch bags that you’d expect to see in the 90s.

Aibu to feel really creeped out by this? I’m a single parent so it’s just me and dd at home. I feel really uneasy.

I imagine he felt he was doing a nice thing

Just thank him and pass the bags on to a charity shop

I wouldn't feel uneasy on the basis of this unless you are going to drip feed that there was underwear inside one of the bags of something equally weird!

Not creepy at all, that was really neighbourly.

Oh dear...I gave old handbags to a nursery local to me for their dressing up box. They seemed quite happy...🤷‍♀️

I think he was just being nice. He check her age to see if she was the right age to have the stuff.

Thai alone wouldn’t necessarily be worrying to me. He could struggle with conversations or social interactions and is just trying to be nice

My new neighbours did smile or speak to me (or any other neighbours) for the first few years they lived here. Then one day they left an Easter egg on my doorstep for my son and it transpired they’d just become grandparents so I think they felt inclined to make amends/an effort. They’re still awkward as hell to speak to though and still haven’t smiled

Ok well I feel slightly relieved that this is me overreacting. If he’d previously said hello and then done that, then I wouldn’t be suspicious. I said “hi, you alright?” to him over the weekend and he said “yeah loving it” really sarcastically. Maybe he’s just extremely socially awkward.

Perhaps he is deaf OP .

Ah I’d think he was trying to be kind! He’s hardly invited her round without you.

I find it a bit sad how with no other reason you’ve jumped to this being creepy

Just going by what you've written, I'd think that it was very kind of him. Why exactly are you 'creeped out' by it?

Have you seen evidence of his teenage daughters? have they visited?
He sounds pretty rude to me.
Sorry it would creep me out too.

It'd make me feel uneasy too but maybe he was just being neighbourly

He just sounds like he’s a bit awkward

Have you seen evidence of his teenage daughters? have they visited?

Given that it is all old fashioned stuff, are you sure he didn't say he'd had teenage daughters (and this was some of their old stuff from when they were young)?

Sounds like he has poor social skills, and was trying to be nice. Reminds me of the town in the US where people were waking up to find dolls that looked like their daughters on the doorstep. The whole town was beside themselves - turned out to be an old lady with no remaining family trying to do something nice and pass on her cherished collection. It made me so sad to read that story and think about that poor woman. She had imagined people would just find it a lovely surprise. I think we have all watched way too many thriller/horror/schlocky tv programs.

No one can do anything nice with out there apparently being an ulterior motive these days

Sounds like a lovely thing to do.

Sounds like he's maybe a bit awkward and wanted to do a nice thing (which I think it was, lots of kids would love that stuff no matter how old fashioned)

I haven’t seen any evidence of his daughters, or anyone for that matter. He seems to be a bit of an odd character.

I do jump to conclusions but as a single parent living alone, I’m on high alert for any sort of predators 😬. I’m aware it seems OTT but I got bad vibes from him.

Not sure why it would be a bad thing?

I was given an old handbag from an elderly man who lived round the corner and had only seen me going past with dm when I was about 5 or 6. I think it had been his wife's. I loved that little handbag and took it everywhere (and he'd put some sweets and a little purse in with a few coins-to me at that point a fortune, I think it was about 50p!) for years. He never spoke to me again, but I always waved when I went past his house for years, and he'd wave back if he saw.
I'm glad that dm didn't see it as a nasty thing, as I think it gave him a lot of pleasure seeing me using it, and I had a lot of pleasure from it.

I’m sure he was just trying to do a nice thing. I remember when I was younger we had a neighbour that always seemed to be grumpy and angry but would do kind things to help people out. I’m sure he is just socially awkward and that was why he sounded so direct. Some people can’t do small talk but still want to do something nice for neighbours.

He could have Asperger's or social anxiety or something. I know a few people on my road that avoid all eye contact on a daily basis. We say hello every time we see them and one man has started saying it back now - only taken him three years but maybe he didn't feel ready until now! Feel a sense of achievement 😂 some people take time to warm up, some people ARE weird.

This guy might have wanted to speak to you but felt he needed a reason to do so. He might be as overly cautious as you are towards him. Keep saying hi and be friendly and give the bags on to charity if you don't want them. You may even be giving Christmas cards in a few years 😂

I was going to say trust your intuition but your snide comments about the bags being 'ugly and old-fashioned' made me .

Would you have been ok if he'd handed you a couple of beautiful vintage pieces?!

I'd be creeped out if he hadn't followed up with the bags, and just asked her age - but think he was just being neighbourly.

Sometimes blokes are not sure how to communicate so I guess he was probably trying to gain some common ground (and get rid of clutter at the same time!)

A lot of older people see giving a child a gift or a compliment as an ice breaker. I'm not saying it's impossible your instincts are correct here but I wouldn't jump to that conclusion without evidence.