WWYD if your neighbour said this?

[breakingupslowly]

New neighbour - man in his 50s/60s, lives alone. I’ve seen him a few times but he’s never acknowledged my presence despite me smiling and saying hello. Fair enough, I don’t mind him keeping himself to himself.

BUT he eventually found his voice and the first thing he asked was “how old is your daughter?”

I was instantly like 😐 I asked him why he asked? Then he said he’d got teenage daughters and asked if I’d like some of their old bags for her to use for playing dressing up. I politely declined but he handed them over the fence anyway. Really ugly, old fashioned clutch bags that you’d expect to see in the 90s.

Aibu to feel really creeped out by this? I’m a single parent so it’s just me and dd at home. I feel really uneasy.

[KaleSlayer]

I read thread after thread on MN where posters say exactly this and I don’t understand why you’ve received all these negative responses.

I agree. It seems a few posters are enjoying being quite nasty.

[AccidentallyOnPurpose]

@YouKnowItsTrue

I’m with you OP. If you think something is off then trust your instincts. I read thread after thread on MN where posters say exactly this and I don’t understand why you’ve received all these negative responses.

Because there's fuck all OP can do about a feeling except keep away from him. Which is fair enough.

However most of the contact has been one sided (on her part) and initiated by her. Now she's claiming she's always had a bad feeling and creepy vibes from him. Then why wave and say hello and try to forge some kind of relationship, even if just a superficial neighbour one.

[GlassBoxSpectacular]

However most of the contact has been one sided (on her part) and initiated by her. Now she's claiming she's always had a bad feeling and creepy vibes from him. Then why wave and say hello and try to forge some kind of relationship, even if just a superficial neighbour one.

It’s certainly an odd strategy on the OP’s part: she has ‘a really bad feeling’ about this man, she’s “on high alert for any sort of predators” and her instincts tell her to steer clear of him ... so she’s chosen to embark upon a strategy of initiating contact, even though he has given every indication of wanting nothing to do with her.

[breakingupslowly]

Initiating contact? I’m talking about a polite smile/acknowledgement of human existence when I’m on my way out.

[AccidentallyOnPurpose]

@breakingupslowly

Initiating contact? I’m talking about a polite smile/acknowledgement of human existence when I’m on my way out.

Why would you do that with someone that gives you bad vibes though?

[Staffy1]

@GintyMcGinty

I recently asked my neighbour (who I rarely speak to) how old her grandson is as I have some toys to give away.

Do you think I should be worried?

No but apparently your neighbour should be ;)

[breakingupslowly]

@AccidentallyOnPurpose in the hope that I’d receive a more normal interaction to put my mind at ease. But after his last sarcastic comment, that’s me done.

[StillCoughingandLaughing]

@lydia2021

Lol. Dream on lovey...

“Hello, Kiddie Perps Division, Lydia speaking; how may I help you today? What’s that, lovey - a handbag, you say? How old is it, roughly? 1993? Oh dear. And how long has he been living there? Two years? Oh dear, oh dear. Yes, I don’t want to alarm you lovey, but that’s a worrying combination. He’s definitely someone I’d have down as a perp, LOL!

Do you have any other neighbours who might help you form a vigilante group? Or at at least might donate a more modern handbag to your daughter? Yes lovey, you have an ask around. Don’t hesitate to call us back if you need some tips on when to head over with the pitchforks and flaming torches. Not at all; glad to have been of help. Byeee!”

[AccidentallyOnPurpose]

[quote breakingupslowly]@AccidentallyOnPurpose in the hope that I’d receive a more normal interaction to put my mind at ease. But after his last sarcastic comment, that’s me done.[/quote]
Then all your single tiger protective mum aware of all predators spiel is for nothing.

If your hackles are up you step away and stay away... not keep insisting and waiting for some kind of proof that they're actually ok.

Jesus.

[Itwontstopraining]

This puts all those threads about parents/in-laws off-loading old junk they've found in the attic onto people into a whole new light. Whoever knew it was a generation of groomers?

[breakingupslowly]

Wow. There are some nasty women on here.

[EarringsandLipstick]

@breakingupslowly

Wow. There are some nasty women on here.

Ummm 🤔 from the OP who has made wildly sweeping judgments on a man who sounds a bit odd, but otherwise just offered something innocuous as a plaything for your daughter 🤷🏻‍♀️

[AccidentallyOnPurpose]

@breakingupslowly

Wow. There are some nasty women on here.

Not nasty just slightly aware of child protection.

[Sarahsteedman]

Bit of an odd ott reaction imo, sounds like he was trying to do a nice thing and may be shy or aware of how he may come.across to a women on her own, esp given the last year we have all had.

[worriedatthemoment]

The old man oppsosite me years ago bought us over half a tin if stewed meat as he couldn't eat it all and didn't want it yo go to waste so thought my dh may like it .
Maybe be wary but also you may get yo know more about him as time goes on and hopefully he is just a harmless old guy

[WrongWayApricot]

I'd find it weird if he's always ignored hello but I'm terrible at talking to strangers, so I wouldn't trust my judgement. Other people seem to do it so well. Had my lunch in the park once, put the wrapper in the bag and a little while later a dog came along sniffing the bag and wouldn't follow his owner. I say to the owner with a big grin 'I just had bacon for lunch!'. He looks at me like why tf is this woman telling me about her lunch and replied 'that's nice' 🤦‍♀️ So yeah your neighbour might have thought he was being friendly and helpful but it just came out strange like it did for me.

[lioncitygirl]

How mean of you.

[worriedatthemoment]

All though I don't get why his comment was sarcastic?

[GreyhoundG1rl]

@worriedatthemoment

All though I don't get why his comment was sarcastic?

Of course it wasn't.

[Sarahsteedman]

[quote breakingupslowly]@AccidentallyOnPurpose in the hope that I’d receive a more normal interaction to put my mind at ease. But after his last sarcastic comment, that’s me done.[/quote]
Why should he have to put your mind at rest, esp when by all accounts you have initiated the contact?

[OodieWoodie]

If you live where I live OP, then it's probably the case that the bags were stolen.

[Clumsyvolcano]

Kiddie perps 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I can’t believe that came from an adult I’m in stitches.

[MizMoonshine]

I am the man. I am him and he is me.
I'm so fucking awkward. I can't just answer anything normally. I'll try my best to avoid small talk. I got into a loop on an unexpected phone call the other day and everyone in the room laughed at how I asked "how are you?" at least 3 times. Ugh.
But I'm a super nice and generous person and I'll often offer people things seemingly out of the blue with no chat beforehand.

[SofiaMichelle]

@worriedatthemoment

The old man oppsosite me years ago bought us over half a tin if stewed meat as he couldn't eat it all and didn't want it yo go to waste so thought my dh may like it .
Maybe be wary but also you may get yo know more about him as time goes on and hopefully he is just a harmless old guy

I don't mean to worry you but it's another known tactic.

The old 'half a tin of stewed meat' ruse....

Lydia will know about it.

[BigHeadBertha]

They say verbal communication is only a fraction of what's actually conveyed in person. You were there and we weren't. So it could well be something's lost here, when you're trying to translate those real life experiences into text.

To sum it up, let's say this guy just gives you bad vibes.

I'd find that reason enough to keep your distance from someone you don't know and don't need to know.