WWYD if your neighbour said this?

[breakingupslowly]

New neighbour - man in his 50s/60s, lives alone. I’ve seen him a few times but he’s never acknowledged my presence despite me smiling and saying hello. Fair enough, I don’t mind him keeping himself to himself.

BUT he eventually found his voice and the first thing he asked was “how old is your daughter?”

I was instantly like 😐 I asked him why he asked? Then he said he’d got teenage daughters and asked if I’d like some of their old bags for her to use for playing dressing up. I politely declined but he handed them over the fence anyway. Really ugly, old fashioned clutch bags that you’d expect to see in the 90s.

Aibu to feel really creeped out by this? I’m a single parent so it’s just me and dd at home. I feel really uneasy.

[FencesandFlowers]

He may be just a bit strange and socially awkward but as you're a single mum with a young DD I think you need to be politely
vigilant and go with your instincts.

It also reminded me of the film Greta we watched recently - particularly at point 0:45!!

[KaleSlayer]

But offering !the bags on the face of it seems like a nice thing to do.

But not listening when she said she didn’t want them isn’t.
And ignoring her before and after this contact is just weird.

I’d keep away and tell my child to stay away too.

[fruitbrewhaha]

@MargaretThursday

I was given an old handbag from an elderly man who lived round the corner and had only seen me going past with dm when I was about 5 or 6. I think it had been his wife's. I loved that little handbag and took it everywhere (and he'd put some sweets and a little purse in with a few coins-to me at that point a fortune, I think it was about 50p!) for years. He never spoke to me again, but I always waved when I went past his house for years, and he'd wave back if he saw.
I'm glad that dm didn't see it as a nasty thing, as I think it gave him a lot of pleasure seeing me using it, and I had a lot of pleasure from it.

I'm welling up, that's a lovely story.

[breakingupslowly]

@KaleSlayer I will certainly be doing that. Thank you

[GreyhoundG1rl]

You only want to engage with people telling you this man is a threat to your children, op.
You've clearly made your mind up, so what was the point of the thread? (although it did bring Lydia out of the woodwork, so that was almost worth it)

[breakingupslowly]

@GreyhoundG1rl if we’re going by those rules, then we wouldn’t have many threads on here would we 🤔

[GreyhoundG1rl]

[quote breakingupslowly]@GreyhoundG1rl if we’re going by those rules, then we wouldn’t have many threads on here would we 🤔[/quote]
I don't know what that means?
Most posters have told you they wouldn't be "creeped out" by this and you've completely ignored them, while effusively thanking the one or two who agreed with you 😂

[GabsAlot]

2 years is it-do they do a course on it

fucking muppets on here

[KaleSlayer]

Most posters have told you they wouldn't be "creeped out" by this and you've completely ignored them, while effusively thanking the one or two who agreed with you

But if a woman feels intimidated by a man, they should trust their instinct, always. Posters on here can’t judge as we’re not there. It may have made OP feel reassured if more people had agreed with her, which is presumably why she posted. But we are not there to judge so, in situations like this, I would still advise OP to trust her own instincts.

[Livelovebehappy]

It’s sad that a man just because he lives alone is perceived that way. If he had a partner, your reaction probably would have been so different.

[Countrycode]

I think people vastly underestimate the amount of creeps among men. Hence why so many children end up in situations that could be avoided I suppose.

While not necessarily a paedophile, this isn't some "sweet old boy". He ignores OP when she says hello, ignored her when she refused his "gift" and continues to ignore her after forcing her to take it - sounds like a bloody odd ball if nothing else!

[NeverDropYourMoonCup]

@lydia2021

You are the fools if you think it's an uncle. .its no joke. My info comes from working in the rehab of kiddie perps. Where does your knowledge come from.

Oh, go on then - give us the names of some of the units that do this or the name of the unit lead.

It's relatives, priests, youth workers and scout leaders, mostly. People in families, working with children or volunteering with children.

[breakingupslowly]

Nope. Even if he had a partner, I would have still thought it was weird that he blanked me up until the point he asked how old my little girl is, without even a smile or a hello first.

[GreyhoundG1rl]

@KaleSlayer

Most posters have told you they wouldn't be "creeped out" by this and you've completely ignored them, while effusively thanking the one or two who agreed with you

But if a woman feels intimidated by a man, they should trust their instinct, always. Posters on here can’t judge as we’re not there. It may have made OP feel reassured if more people had agreed with her, which is presumably why she posted. But we are not there to judge so, in situations like this, I would still advise OP to trust her own instincts.

Most people know how to keep their children safe without assuming everyone having the temerity to speak to them over the garden wall is a pervert.
Op is even obsessing about her child playing in the garden now, in case the guy will stand at his back windows and spy on her

[grapewine]

@Livelovebehappy

It’s sad that a man just because he lives alone is perceived that way. If he had a partner, your reaction probably would have been so different.

This is so true.

[KaleSlayer]

It’s sad that a man just because he lives alone is perceived that way. If he had a partner, your reaction probably would have been so different.

It’s not just because he lives alone though. It’s his odd behaviour.
Not acknowledging her when she smiled and said hello.
Then deciding to ask about her child and offer her bags when he finally does decide to speak.
Ignoring her declining the offer of the bags.
Going back to not speaking to her after this.

I’d call that odd. He may not be a threat but OP is right to be cautious if he’s made her feel uncomfortable.

[GlassBoxSpectacular]

@lydia2021

Be vigilant. A single parent is a target and they will wait at least two years before they do anything. Any one who thinks otherwise is naive

Can you share the full details of the escalation schedule, please?

[Scbchl]

Poor guy, just trying to be nice and being called all sorts.

[Meme69]

@seesawmummadaw me too and I've never heard the term either. 🤔 Maybe @Lydia2021 works in a vigilante group that we've never heard of.

OP I think your conclusion jumping is worthy of an Olympic gold in the long jump. Have you thought of qualifying?

[GreyhoundG1rl]

Escalation schedule 🤣

[lljkk]

People are so lonely. Have some compassion. He just tried to reach out.
It was a few bags, not fliers for a swingers club.

[MrDarcysMa]

I think you're being paranoid and very unkind

[KaleSlayer]

Poor guy, just trying to be nice and being called all sorts.

It’s ‘nice’ they he has ignored OP before and after giving her bags that she said she didn’t want.

[Ostara212]

OP I understand

"How old are your daughters and would they like some old bags" is pretty weird as introductions go 😂

[breakingupslowly]

I’m glad people are finding humour on this topic. I’ll carry on being vigilant and trusting my instincts though 🙌🏻