WWYD if your neighbour said this?

[breakingupslowly]

New neighbour - man in his 50s/60s, lives alone. I’ve seen him a few times but he’s never acknowledged my presence despite me smiling and saying hello. Fair enough, I don’t mind him keeping himself to himself.

BUT he eventually found his voice and the first thing he asked was “how old is your daughter?”

I was instantly like 😐 I asked him why he asked? Then he said he’d got teenage daughters and asked if I’d like some of their old bags for her to use for playing dressing up. I politely declined but he handed them over the fence anyway. Really ugly, old fashioned clutch bags that you’d expect to see in the 90s.

Aibu to feel really creeped out by this? I’m a single parent so it’s just me and dd at home. I feel really uneasy.

working in the rehab of kiddie perps

My absolute favourite thing is when posters on MN pretend to be engaged in a particular career to validate their opinion, when nine times out of ten they sound like they’re pulling random jargon out of their arse.

Recent treats have included a fake history teacher who objected to classroom debate about colonialism (AS revealed them to be a civil servant) and a fake “government lawyer” (who was barely literate).

But given the talk of the ‘two-year’ waiting period, the fact that ‘they’ are “not just uncles”, and the professional jargon of “kiddie perps”, I’m absolutely convinced of the professional expertise on display here.

@GreyhoundG1rl

You only want to engage with people telling you this man is a threat to your children, op. You've clearly made your mind up, so what was the point of the thread? (although it did bring Lydia out of the woodwork, so that was almost worth it)

Agree, although I wouldn't have missed Lydia and her kiddie perps for the world! Quite made my night

@MargaretThursday

I was given an old handbag from an elderly man who lived round the corner and had only seen me going past with dm when I was about 5 or 6. I think it had been his wife's. I loved that little handbag and took it everywhere (and he'd put some sweets and a little purse in with a few coins-to me at that point a fortune, I think it was about 50p!) for years. He never spoke to me again, but I always waved when I went past his house for years, and he'd wave back if he saw. I'm glad that dm didn't see it as a nasty thing, as I think it gave him a lot of pleasure seeing me using it, and I had a lot of pleasure from it.

Aw how lovely ☺️

Agree, although I wouldn't have missed Lydia and her kiddie perps for the world!
Quite made my night
It was a bit of light relief alright 🤣

Pretty mean to call him creepy. My eldery (single male) neighbour randomly brought some sweets round for my niece, having never met her before, I took it for what it was, a kind thing to do!

@breakingupslowly

I’m glad people are finding humour on this topic. I’ll carry on being vigilant and trusting my instincts though 🙌🏻

Oh come on, op. Nobody suggested you shouldn't be vigilant where your children are concerned, literally nobody.

I can’t stop laughing at “kiddie perps” 😂
This is like if Brass Eye was a mumsnet thread.

Where does the 'trust your instincts' crap peddled on MN come from?

Is it for the thickos who can't actually think situations through and work out a course of action if it's required?

@Mousetown

I can’t stop laughing at “kiddie perps” 😂 This is like if Brass Eye was a mumsnet thread.

Nonce-sense 🥸

🤣🤣🤣

@Mousetown

I can’t stop laughing at “kiddie perps” 😂 This is like if Brass Eye was a mumsnet thread.

Now I’m re-reading all of Lydia’s posts in Chris Morris’s voice

@Mousetown

I can’t stop laughing at “kiddie perps” 😂 This is like if Brass Eye was a mumsnet thread.

Oh god yes.

I used to love Brass Eye!

I'm with you OP. It's all nice and cosy for dispassionate posters to poke fun or criticize you for doubting his "good will" gesture. I can actually imagine the kind of person you are describing and will be unnerved too. Yes, he may be socially awkward but his sarcastic response and blanking you AFTER supposedly being nice.. and not caring that you didnt want the bags.

Having said that, it could be that he was having a clear out and couldnt be arsed to take the bags to the charity shop, so dumped them on you. And then got back to his original unpleasant state.

And I’ve just realised that Nonce-sense was “The Day Today”, not “Brass Eye”

Why are people talking like this guy is a harmless, lonely 80ish year old who comes from the generation that randomly hands out sweets and gives out presents to neighbourhood kids?!

Op said he’s 50s/60. My dad’s 61. A) He’d take absolutely no notice of next doors teenage children unless they were causing problems, B) he’d never in a million years ask how old a neighbours teenage daughter is, C) it would never even occur to him to pass on any of my old stuff and D) he would definitely consider that kind of behaviour to be creepy and inappropriate.

Trust your gut instinct OP. This is exactly the kind of behaviour my ex neighbour would display. He was a peeping Tom. Every time I was sunbathing or in the garden revising as a teenager, he’d set up a ladder against the fence and pret

@SofiaMichelle

Where does the 'trust your instincts' crap peddled on MN come from?

Is it for the thickos who can't actually think situations through and work out a course of action if it's required?

It would appear so. Sad that so many people's instincts are extremely suspect. I shudder to think what "follow my instincts" will lead to in op's case, given the paranoia involved. Sorry op, but watching your child in the garden, really?

Now we have the Peeping Toms...

Pretend to cut the ivy on the top of the fence. I’m pretty sure he drilled holes in the fence as well so he could peep through and we once caught him lifting a fence panel and prowling round our back garden.

Nonce-sense 🥸

😂😂😂

@breakingupslowly

I’m glad people are finding humour on this topic. I’ll carry on being vigilant and trusting my instincts though 🙌🏻

But surely you aren't going to leave DD alone with him anyway, and it is a leap to think he's going to be staring out the windows in the summer because he gave you some bags . I don't know if it's a generational thing, but a few neighbours have offered stuff to my little one when we have barely spoken before, its kind.

You wanted to wait until he'd said hello or something. I think the was his awkward way of saying hello.

I’m with you OP. If you think something is off then trust your instincts. I read thread after thread on MN where posters say exactly this and I don’t understand why you’ve received all these negative responses.

He sounds like he’s being nice, I have an older man living next door and he sometimes gives me things that his grandkids don’t want anymore. Sometimes he even gives my kids an ice lolly over the fence. I’m pretty sure he’s just being friendly and if there is some sinister motive it really wouldn’t make much difference as I’m not about to ask him to babysit or let my kids go round to his for tea.

So stop saying hello and waving to him. From what you say it is you always initiating any form of contact , so easily solved. Ignore him. Why keep at him if he gives you bad vibes and the creeps? It makes no sense.

Also,since your daughter is still into dress up I assume she doesn't spend any time away from you or unsupervised, definitely not enough to be in contact with the grumpy neighbour that never wants to speak to you anyways.

But mainly it’s the fact that the first words he ever asked were regarding how old my daughter is. Surely that would make anyone’s ears prick up from a single middle aged man living alone?

Not when the next question was 'would you like my daughters' old bags?'

He sounds a bit odd.

But you sound excessively paranoid. What's he going do do? She's not going to be with him or alone with him?

Side note: @GreyhoundG1rl your replies have been 😂😂 (tho I feel a bit guilty laughing as the broader subject matter is obviously serious. But they've been v funny!)