WWYD if your neighbour said this?

[breakingupslowly]

New neighbour - man in his 50s/60s, lives alone. I’ve seen him a few times but he’s never acknowledged my presence despite me smiling and saying hello. Fair enough, I don’t mind him keeping himself to himself.

BUT he eventually found his voice and the first thing he asked was “how old is your daughter?”

I was instantly like 😐 I asked him why he asked? Then he said he’d got teenage daughters and asked if I’d like some of their old bags for her to use for playing dressing up. I politely declined but he handed them over the fence anyway. Really ugly, old fashioned clutch bags that you’d expect to see in the 90s.

Aibu to feel really creeped out by this? I’m a single parent so it’s just me and dd at home. I feel really uneasy.

You are the fools if you think it's an uncle. .its no joke. My info comes from working in the rehab of kiddie perps. Where does your knowledge come from.

I completely agree with other poster re I think he’s got poor social skills and actually tried really hard by offering the handbags.

Yeah he may be innocent...prob is. But many arent

Kiddie perps?

How bizarre that people are commenting on my reaction being different if they were designer bags. I couldn’t give a rats arse what type of bags they were, it’s the fact that he said they were his teenage daughters yet those bags look like they haven’t seen the light of day in about 30 years. But mainly it’s the fact that the first words he ever asked were regarding how old my daughter is. Surely that would make anyone’s ears prick up from a single middle aged man living alone?

@lydia2021

Yeah he may be innocent...prob is. But many arent

Many what?

@lydia2021

You are the fools if you think it's an uncle. .its no joke. My info comes from working in the rehab of kiddie perps. Where does your knowledge come from.

Of course you do. Give over. You'd never be employed by any organisation involved in the rehabilitation of offenders.

Lol. Dream on lovey...

@breakingupslowly

How bizarre that people are commenting on my reaction being different if they were designer bags. I couldn’t give a rats arse what type of bags they were, it’s the fact that he said they were his teenage daughters yet those bags look like they haven’t seen the light of day in about 30 years. But mainly it’s the fact that the first words he ever asked were regarding how old my daughter is. Surely that would make anyone’s ears prick up from a single middle aged man living alone?

It's called conversation. My elderly male neighbour asked me not only how old my daughter was, but what her name was! As he didn't then thrust a handbag at me, I did a quick risk assessment and told him.

@lydia2021

Lol. Dream on lovey...

Yes, that totally changes our minds 😂😂

He does seem a little odd. To ignore you when you said hello in the past, then the first time he speaks to ask about your child, then offload his unwanted crap on you and the sarcasm. Keep your distance and tell your daughter to do the same.

Surely that would make anyone’s ears prick up from a single middle aged man living alone

Yeah totally and I think anyone would be lying if they said otherwise, it depends what the follow up then was though:

If he started rubbing his crotch..

If he fondly remembered his similar aged daughter/niece/insert family member here and just wanted to reminisce..

If he just wanted to get rid of those last few bits that he didn’t want to end up in land fill..

There’s obviously 101 different scenarios that would change how that question is received.

Trust your instincts, though not always accurate they exist for a reason! How many times in the past have things gone wrong when women were told they were overreacting and that he was just "being nice".

It could be innocent but I wouldn't be engaging with him long enough to find out. If he doesn't acknowledge you then it will be easy to do the same to him. Ignore him or just give a short hi back if he does say hello.

Don't apologise for being vigilant either - if more parents were many many children would have been saved from awful circumstances.

Step one
*Give old bags to neighbour"

Step two
Wait at least two years

Step three
Do something

I genuinely get a really bad feeling about him and I can’t shake it. I’ve seen him a couple of times since the bag donations and he acts like I’m not there . Slightly concerned about the warmer months coming home and having dd in the garden where he can see from his windows. Maybe I’m being totally paranoid but this is how I feel.

Coming* not coming home 😬

@Countrycode

Trust your instincts, though not always accurate they exist for a reason! How many times in the past have things gone wrong when women were told they were overreacting and that he was just "being nice".

It could be innocent but I wouldn't be engaging with him long enough to find out. If he doesn't acknowledge you then it will be easy to do the same to him. Ignore him or just give a short hi back if he does say hello.

Don't apologise for being vigilant either - if more parents were many many children would have been saved from awful circumstances.

What exactly can "go wrong" in this situation?
Unless op decides to ask him to look after her kids while she goes on a mini break to Bruges, and from her tone there's little chance of that.

Op you think it's weird that someone in their 50s and upwards hangs onto things for twenty years or more in case they would come in useful for someone?
Clearly you have never met my in-laws! That's really not unusual!

Kiddie perps!!!!

Someone watched that vile programme on C4 last night and is letting their imagination run away with them. Muppet.

OP, he sounds like a slightly odd old boy trying to do something nice. I doubt he has evil designs on your child (honestly, most people dont), but just be careful, make sure she knows PANTS and "no secrets " rules to keep her safe in general, and maybe just enjoy having a connection with a neighbour.

I think it’s unusual to hold onto women’s clutch bags from 1993 when you’re a single man living alone yes 😬

If you have a bad feeling about him then trust your instincts and exercise caution. But offering !the bags on the face of it seems like a nice thing to do.

* (Really ugly, old fashioned clutch bags that you’d expect to see in the 90s.* has made me feel extremely old!!)

You know a lot about a new neighbour you don't actually communicate with, op.

@GreyhoundG1rl hardly. I don’t have the receipts for the bags, 1993 was an estimate.

@lydia2021

You are the fools if you think it's an uncle. .its no joke. My info comes from working in the rehab of kiddie perps. Where does your knowledge come from.

@lydia2021 I work with offenders.

I’ve not heard of the term ‘kiddie peeps’. Enlighten me.