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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be pissed off with this comment?

143 replies

overreactionorno · 04/05/2021 21:10

So been chatting/seeing a couple of times - bubbling we're both single adults - this guy. He's always been lovely and nice, respectful etc. I've got a good sense of humour and we enjoy banter.
So last night we were texting about meeting up again soon. From ages ago he's been after a massage off me as I'm qualified and I enjoy doing them. I've also got a yappy dog who can be annoying.
Text conversation went along the lines of have you got oil and a muzzle? I was confused as my car is currently in the garage being fixed and didn't know if he was referring to that, so I said 'oil? What for?' To which the reply was 'oil for the massage and the muzzle for you'
Now call me over sensitive and I'm prepared to get the piss taken out of me, but is this not quite a nasty thing to say to someone ? Especially when he's been kind and sweet and gentlemanly over the last few months of contact ?
(I'm more than willing to be B ing U)Wink

OP posts:
Palavah · 04/05/2021 21:12

Not nasty as in cruel, but nasty as in suggestive of BDSM, which does nothing for me.

If it's not your sort of thing then just tell him.

user1471457751 · 04/05/2021 21:12

That would be enough to make me ditch him. What a pig

KizzyMoo · 04/05/2021 21:13

I'd take that as he first obviously meant the dog but then thought it would be funny to change it and say it's for you, meaning you are chatty and he wants a peaceful massage. I'd take it as a joke.

JustAddCoffee91 · 04/05/2021 21:17

Yeah sounds like he's an arsehole!

Terminallysleepdeprived · 04/05/2021 21:19

My first thing was for the yapping dog but actually he has been a bit creepy.

I would be wary op

Ivycrescent · 04/05/2021 21:20

Ew. I can’t think of a way in which that comment isn’t either offensive or yucky.

slashlover · 04/05/2021 21:20

It's difficult to understand tone over text. I'd have taken it as a joke though.

ThatIsMyPotato · 04/05/2021 21:21

Ick

Lelophants · 04/05/2021 21:22

Creepy.

Original poster
overreactionorno · 04/05/2021 21:23

Thanks for the replies. I think you're right it started as the muzzle fir the yappy dog and he changed it to me for a 'joke'. But I didn't think it was funny at all and thought it may just have been me.
He's texting me now being nice and friendly. Think I'll just ignore and block. Thanks vipers Smile

OP posts:
dudsville · 04/05/2021 21:23

I wouldn't like it.

BelleBlueBell · 04/05/2021 21:24

That would be a no from me, horrible comment and it doesn't even make any sense, why would you need a muzzle to do a massage Confused

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 04/05/2021 21:26

Especially when he's been kind and sweet and gentlemanly over the last few months of contact

And now he's charmed you his true self is appearing. You're right to get rid

heidbuttsupper · 04/05/2021 21:26

I wouldn't appreciate that comment either op. It's not even funny if he was trying to make a joke

Billandben444 · 04/05/2021 21:28

Perhaps he was meaning to text
"and the muzzle for you.r dog" but pressed send to soon? Trying to find an excuse here for such a nasty comment!

Original poster
overreactionorno · 04/05/2021 21:28

@BelleBlueBell

That would be a no from me, horrible comment and it doesn't even make any sense, why would you need a muzzle to do a massage Confused
Haha yeah, I'm not even that talkative, and especially not when doing a massage, you normally keep it to minimal chat for the relaxation aspect.
OP posts:
RiseNBrine · 04/05/2021 21:30

Hard to tell if it was meant as a joke or what – the muzzle to keep you off him (cause it’ll be hard to resist) or stop you talking or something? @KizzyMoo ‘s suggestion sounds plausible. On the other hand I suppose it could also have a darker or sleazier subtext or reveal a dodgy attitude.

Given the fact you guys banter it sounds like it’s most likely a misguided attempt at a joke, but I’d find it offputting too and would probably leave him to sweat on read with that one. Keep your ears open for any other flags or signs of weirdness / inappropriateness / disrespect.

Eloiseifyouplease · 04/05/2021 21:31

I personally would've just taken it as a joke, I think he was trying to be funny.

But if you're concerned or it offended you, just ask him why he said it. His answer to you asking him about the comment will tell you all you need to know about him.

Ariannah · 04/05/2021 21:31

If he was going to say the muzzle was for the dog... well that’s even worse than saying the muzzle was for you! Anything other than love expressed towards my dog would be a deal breaker for me. Either way it’s a bad comment, I’d ditch him.

Howyoudoingirl · 04/05/2021 21:32

I would assume it was a joke maybe in a 'you won't be able to resist me type of way. Either that or maybe referring to a mask. I refere to my mask as a muzzle

HannaHat · 04/05/2021 21:32

Big no from me, even if he meant my dog.

NinetyNineRedBalloonsGoBy · 04/05/2021 21:33

No way ... he's employing the stereotype of women's voice being an irritating, inconsequential thing. Even if you forgave it now you'd never quite forget that's his view of your voice. Run for the hills!

NoProblem123 · 04/05/2021 21:39

Red flag. Look out for others.

SelkieFly · 04/05/2021 21:39

It is easy to be charming for 3 weeks.

EdwinPootsLovesArchaeology · 04/05/2021 21:42

He's not funny, he's not witty, he has disastrously poor social filters, and he's given you cause for concern.

I really think he's a prick.

I'm glad you're acting on it. Good luck in the future.

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