To be pissed off with this comment?

[overreactionorno]

So been chatting/seeing a couple of times - bubbling we're both single adults - this guy. He's always been lovely and nice, respectful etc. I've got a good sense of humour and we enjoy banter.
So last night we were texting about meeting up again soon. From ages ago he's been after a massage off me as I'm qualified and I enjoy doing them. I've also got a yappy dog who can be annoying.
Text conversation went along the lines of have you got oil and a muzzle? I was confused as my car is currently in the garage being fixed and didn't know if he was referring to that, so I said 'oil? What for?' To which the reply was 'oil for the massage and the muzzle for you'
Now call me over sensitive and I'm prepared to get the piss taken out of me, but is this not quite a nasty thing to say to someone ? Especially when he's been kind and sweet and gentlemanly over the last few months of contact ?
(I'm more than willing to be B ing U)

"I did not appreciate the text."
Or block- such a great feature.
Every man is charming... at the start.

@ivfgottwins

It's a joke 🤷‍♀️

We know. It's the Type of joke and what it insinuates. Some of us have self respect (unfortunately) -joke

Of course it's a joke, but an icky one. I wouldn't have appreciated it at all. I think I am pretty easy-going, but don't like the sound of this joke. That said, I would probably let it go if it truly is a one-off, but keep myself alert to red flags.

An ex once made a "joke" about having a hidden camera recording us in his bedroom.

Even though I didn't meet him online and had known him for years, I wish I'd paid attention to what he thought was an appropriate joke, as he turned out to be a nightmare, and I still don't know if it was a joke...

Men who make these sort of jokes, who find the thought of other people being uncomfortable funny, are the pits. It's fine to make jokes at your own exiense, not that if others. I'm seriously shocked that so many posters can't differentiate between a joke made about burying a husband under a patio by his wide of many years, cand a joke made by someone the OP barely knows well.

Reminds me of that Seinfled episode, he's dating a masseuse who wouldn't give him a massage.

Anyway, it's hard to judge without the context of the relationship, my BF and I have plenty of jokes that would come across as horrible without the context, but the thing is, YOU find this a bit offensive, so you should speak up and clarify.
I once said said a joke to my boyfriend about his way to practice his religion, he found it offensive, told me so, and now I know that I shouldn't joke about that.
A joke is a joke when both are laughing. But doesn't mean that you can get it right straight away, requires adjustment.

I'd have laughed probably but then I have got the rottweiler reputation....I'm sure it was just a joke

Sounds like he meant it as a joke, it was just a very poor one.

Banter is teasing and making cheeky comments, some people don't like it and won't engage, which is fine - you don't have to !
You've said you've enjoyed the 'banter' with him over the last few weeks if you're going to engage in it then expect to be teased in return.
What kind of things have you been saying to him, is this one sided, or have you been saying cheeky stuff to him too ?

This could end up being a good thing - you've established a boundary early on. How he reacts to it and takes it on-board (or not) could lead to a healthier interaction between the two of you.

@Gingerwhinger1

Banter is teasing and making cheeky comments, some people don't like it and won't engage, which is fine - you don't have to ! You've said you've enjoyed the 'banter' with him over the last few weeks if you're going to engage in it then expect to be teased in return. What kind of things have you been saying to him, is this one sided, or have you been saying cheeky stuff to him too ?

“Banter is where men make misogynistic comments in a lighthearted tone, and then say it was just a joke and make you feel like you’re in the wrong when you don’t laugh along”

There, fixed that for you.

I mean, obviously it’s a “joke” as he’s not planning to put a muzzle on her. It’s what the joke says about his attitude that’s the problem

@Deathgrip I once read, I think on here, 'banter is just a synonym for being a cunt'

@deathgrip. Banter generally is used as an opportunity for people of both sexes to make underhanded and hurtful comments that will be dismissed as 'joking' by the perpetrator, when they cross a line. That is why I don't do it.
The op has stated she has enjoyed the banter, if you engage don't get upset when you get burned by it.

I've got a good sense of humour and we enjoy banter.

From the op.

Perhaps when OP says “banter”, she meant in the actual meaning of the term (playful and friendly teasing), not in the more recent definition (thinly veiled misogyny masquerading as a gag). Suggesting muzzling someone isn’t “teasing” - it’s not poking fun, it’s a thinly-veiled, deeply unpleasant remark. At best, it’s a criticism that someone talks too much. At worst, it’s demonstrating his attitude towards women.

I love this idea that if you don’t laugh at misogynistic “jokes” you have no sense of humour. I have a great sense of humour, so does my partner - there is plenty of banter, in the true sense. We manage to have banter without offending the other person or coming across as unpleasant. Miraculous.

@deathgrip. Most banter starts out as 'friendly teasing', which is entirely subjective, as evidenced by the multitude of interpretations of the dog muzzle comment.
If you're gonna engage in it , especially with someone that doesn't know your boundaries, then be prepared to offended.

Anyone wondering what's going on in people's heads because they're reading BDSM into stuff obviously hasn't spent much time online dating.

@TheWaif

Anyone wondering what's going on in people's heads because they're reading BDSM into stuff obviously hasn't spent much time online dating.

Nope, never done online dating as didn't even exist when I was last eligible to date lol been married since the dawn of time

Yuck. It’s a no from me 😳