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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who pays?

327 replies

Imfinallyhappy1 · 18/04/2021 14:01

Have had my niece (11) for a day at the park. We parked and as it was crowded said to my ds and dn be careful opening car doors please.

Dn and ds acknowledged and then dn Flung open her door and has hit a gorgeous merc beside us.

We were all wtf and she said sorry I didn't think.

There was approx 5 seconds between the warning and her opening the door.

I've left a note for the car owner and taken pictures.

Dn lives with my dsis and my parents. My mum said they will pay but my dad has said he's pissed off and I should pay?

Aibu? If my kids damaged someone's property even if they were with someone else I wouldn't expect them to pay.

OP posts:
Happinesscomesfromwithin · 18/04/2021 14:03

I would pay for my niece but then that's me. Family is family and it was a mistake.

Standrewsschool · 18/04/2021 14:04

Would it come off your car insurance?

ElaineMarieBenes · 18/04/2021 14:04

Your insurance company?

YellowGlasses · 18/04/2021 14:05

Surely your car insurance pays?

BlackCatShadow · 18/04/2021 14:06

Does it not just go through your car insurance?

BlackCatShadow · 18/04/2021 14:07

Slight cross post there

Purplecatshopaholic · 18/04/2021 14:07

Why on earth should you pay? Or have your premiums increase because your Insurance pays? She’s 11 - old enough to acknowledge her mistake, and to take responsibility for it

Lostinthemail · 18/04/2021 14:07

Either way I’d never ever take her with you again.

Angrypregnantlady · 18/04/2021 14:07

If its a lot you'll have to claim on your insurance. Expensive cars aren't a cheap or easy fix. But you'll probably have your excess to pay.

I don't know who should pay tbh. I'd be fuming if I were you. Maybe go halves?

TheresNothingIWantMore · 18/04/2021 14:08

I wouldn't go through insurance if I were you - the excess, loss of no claims bonus and premium increases will likely cost far more than the repair

Happycat1212 · 18/04/2021 14:08

I think you because she was in your care 🤷‍♀️

Stompythedinosaur · 18/04/2021 14:08

I think it's your responsibility as she was with you at the time.

Floralnomad · 18/04/2021 14:10

She was with you hence it’s your responsibility.

SheldonesqueHasGotTheWeevils · 18/04/2021 14:10

I know she is just a child but given that you warned them to be careful first, I’d not be thrilled at having to pay for what will likely be an expensive repair.

LizBennet · 18/04/2021 14:10

Ooh it’s a tough one, I’d be seething though if I’d given a warning first. I’d probably pay it to be honest, though I know my sister would offer to pay for it. (I’d hope).

Singlenotsingle · 18/04/2021 14:11

Notify your insurance company just in case the owner wants to claim. Strictly speaking, I think any claim should be against your dn as she did the damage, but I doubt there's enough in her piggy bank to cover the cost of repairs to a Merc.

Chamomileteaplease · 18/04/2021 14:11

If you use your car insurance presumably you lose your very valuable no claims bonus?

I would go halves. The niece was old enough to know better but even though I hear it was crowded, you still parked very close to an expensive car.

Hopefully your sister will make your niece pay back the money from pocket money, birthday money etc and a lesson will be learned.

Love51 · 18/04/2021 14:11

How much is it? Does she have pocket money? If it were my child in my care they'd be paying 10%. My children have to budget for clothes etc from pocket money, so they could afford it, I think (no idea how much it is, they could afford £50!) If she doesn't have any money she needs to be sent to your house to wash the windows or something. Although if she's accident prone I'd decline.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 18/04/2021 14:12

However you decide make sure your DN is fully aware of how much money, time and effort her 'lapse' has cost you and the owner of the car she damaged. I don't mean make her cry, feel anxious etc.

It wasn't an accident, it could easily have been avoided, even without your reminder. Doubtless she has got into and out if cars many times, it won't have been new to her.

She can't just be allowed to say 'oops!' and then forget about it. If she is to learn from her errors of judgement she has to be confronted with the consequences of her actions. How else will she learn?

BornIn78 · 18/04/2021 14:14

Your sister should be paying... not you and not the child’s grandparents

sunflowersandbuttercups · 18/04/2021 14:15

How much will the damage be? Surely this is what car insurance is for?

Maybe get her mum (not your parents) to pay the excess?

Floweree · 18/04/2021 14:15

If she was younger I would say probably you as you had agreed to take her out knowing that something like that could happen. At 11 though and with you even making a point to say it I would let them pay. Yes it was an accident, but seems the right age to learn a bit about consequences.

Butwasitherdriveway · 18/04/2021 14:16

Why on earth would your dad pay?

Why isn't DN paying?!

Floweree · 18/04/2021 14:16

Well, your sister anyway

ZenNudist · 18/04/2021 14:16

I think she should pay some out of her own money so she has consequences. Can your dsis pay the rest?

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