Who pays?

[Imfinallyhappy1]

Have had my niece (11) for a day at the park. We parked and as it was crowded said to my ds and dn be careful opening car doors please.

Dn and ds acknowledged and then dn Flung open her door and has hit a gorgeous merc beside us.

We were all wtf and she said sorry I didn't think.

There was approx 5 seconds between the warning and her opening the door.

I've left a note for the car owner and taken pictures.

Dn lives with my dsis and my parents. My mum said they will pay but my dad has said he's pissed off and I should pay?

Aibu? If my kids damaged someone's property even if they were with someone else I wouldn't expect them to pay.

Your car insurance would pay, but if I was DN's mum I'd pay your excess.

If Your sister took your child out would daddy be insisting she pays?

Of course it could have been prevented, with child locks. That would have been the answer with a younger child and for example, with an 8yo, it would have been OP's fault for not using them.

@Christmasfairy2020

I'd have drove of

Well then you're a dick!

I'm so surprised at people saying OP should pay - I think this is her sister's responsibility if OP warned the niece.

Couldn’t you have just driven away and parked somewhere else?

Surely it’s up to the other driver whether or not to go through insurance anyway?

@Butwasitherdriveway

Oh fgs . You all knew I met the nieces mother

😂🤣

The neice's parent should pay (or who ever will bail her out).

If my kids did damage to property while out with someone else i'd expect to cough up.

I'd be fucking furious with my DC and NOT expect Aunti x y z OR Granny and Grandad to pay.

Re: driving off, if it was on CCTV and the merc owner got hold of it it would then be 100% OP taking the hit. Plus her future insurance premiums.

She was in your care and it was your car that did the damage. I try to avoid parking close to enough to other cars for this to happen, especially expensive ones. If unavoidable children in the back don't open the doors. If you warned her to be careful you must have been cognisant of the risk.

Therefore I think the damage is your responsibility. Annoying as it is. Unfortunately car ownership is hazardous and expensive.

Your sister, her mother, should pay really. I don't think you should direct too much anger towards your niece if she's otherwise a good kid. My DC are 7 & 9 and I'm hyper aware of them opening car doors, no matter how many times I tell them, they still fling the doors open without a care in the world, I just don't think that they get it! If I pull into a particularly tight space, or next to a particularly nice car, then I'd likely get out and open the door for them to prevent disaster, but hindsight is a wonderful thing.

I know @BlueDahlia69. I'm not doing well 😂

Your sister should pay. FFS, some people's excess is £500! Why should you stump that up and have your premiums raised after you warned them? I wouldn't take her out again.

If I were you OP (the driver) I would use my insurance or pay. Your niece damaged the car but with more caution you could have prevented it - parking somewhere with more room/ using childlocks or telling your niece not to open her door and doing it for her. I don't agree it's easy to get out of a car when there isn't enough room to open the door. Plenty of times I've held the door for my children and its pushing close to or on the other car with my hand between.

If I was your sister and you asked me to pay I would but I would be pissed off and I would decline any future offers to take her out thinking "I can't afford it!". I think asking your sister to pay could damage relationships.

When people are giving examples of children damaging couches - if I had a young visitor and allowed them to keep their shoes on/ put muddy shoes on the couch/ eat chocolate on the couch etc I would think it was my own fault when it got damaged.

As the OP warned her DN and her DN caused the damage anyway, I think the moral responsibility falls to her DSis, who should pay for the damage and punish DN for her inability to think about consequences - maybe taking away screen time.

In reality, though, I'd expect whoever in the family has more money to pay for it - whether that's the OP or her DSis. Because, family.

I’d always open the car doors for my kids if parked close enough to someone to hit them. Telling them to be careful doesn’t always work. If I were their Mum I’d pay but never leave them in your care again as I couldn’t afford it.

If I was your sister and you asked me to pay I would but I would be pissed off and I would decline any future offers to take her out thinking "I can't afford it!". I think asking your sister to pay could damage relationships.

I daresay I wouldn’t be rushing out to take anyone’s kids out for the day if I were to be solely responsible for any damage they did accidental or no.

I think if the sister does not offer to pay (either in full or insurance excess) she will damage their relationship.

I feel for the OP.

*Lostinthemail

Either way I’d never ever take her with you again.*

Hilarious!

@Bimblybomeyelash

*Lostinthemail

Either way I’d never ever take her with you again.*

Hilarious!

Why?

Why should she take her out when the family behave like that !

You should be paying. She was in your care, it was your car.

If my sister had taken my daughter out for the day and my daughter had caused some damage, I would offer to pay for the damage....she's my child, therefore my responsibility. At 11 I'd also be having a chat with her about being careful in situations like these, I know its often completely accidental and lots of kids do it, but it's always worth making them aware of being respectful of other people's property

Definitely one to chalk up to experience now though OP, use those childlocks

@Christmasfairy2020

I'd have drove of

Nice. Some complete twat did exactly that to my car, I'd only had it 3 days. I parked further away from the shops yet she decided to park behind mine and ended up making a right mess of the bumper, £500 to get it fixed. Fuming didn't cut it. Don't be that twat that everyone despises.

If my kids damage anything of someone else's, I pay, and have done, regardless of being there or not. They're my kids! Take someone else's child out for the day and end up with a bill that could be incredibly high with excess and raised premiums? No good deed goes unpunished

Your niece's parents should pay, as it's their child that did the damage.

Decency, would make me ensure my Sister was not left potentially out of pocket footing a bill, for damage accidentally caused by my young daughter, after my Sister had taken her out for the day, with her own family.

Seems unkind, but that's just me🌸