Who pays?

[Imfinallyhappy1]

Have had my niece (11) for a day at the park. We parked and as it was crowded said to my ds and dn be careful opening car doors please.

Dn and ds acknowledged and then dn Flung open her door and has hit a gorgeous merc beside us.

We were all wtf and she said sorry I didn't think.

There was approx 5 seconds between the warning and her opening the door.

I've left a note for the car owner and taken pictures.

Dn lives with my dsis and my parents. My mum said they will pay but my dad has said he's pissed off and I should pay?

Aibu? If my kids damaged someone's property even if they were with someone else I wouldn't expect them to pay.

I dont imagine there is any legal position on this matter where a child has caused damage.

In this incident it was Op’s car and it will be the owner of the car who will be obliged to pay or give insurance details if the owner wants to pursue it. Whether the OP then gets money from the child’s parents is another separate issue altogether.

In most situations of this, although no-one is thrilled by it, I’d imagine the hosting person driving would be offering to pay AND the child’s parents would be offering or at least to contribute. Most people are keen to overly cover themselves and mo leave someone else out of pocket in these situations where family is involved and there’s a simply been an accident. Everyone accepts it is an accident and is willing to sigh and suck it up.

A shame when there’s a dispute and no-one wants to.

It’s not about legalities in terms of parents or hosts in damage is caused generally by a child. The car owner is legally responsible for damage their car causes.Usually adults take responsibility for children in their case and their actions.

@Imfinallyhappy1 - have you heard back from the owners of the other vehicle? Have you had a chat with either your niece or your sister to discuss what might happen if they do contact you??

Sorry for the late update. So I didnt speak with my parents or my sister since. My dad hung up on me when he was rude so I have t felt the need to talk anymore yet. I got a really nice test from the car driver saying this:

Hi thanks for the note you put on my car yesterday there is not much damage I’m sure some touch up paint will sort it out so no worries thanks for letting me know

So it’s a really good outcome for all involved. I screen shot and sent to my dad and he read but didn’t reply to me.

I said to the gent that I was very sorry and if he needed anything he has my number. He replied again saying he has young kids and understand what kids are like and to forget about it.

Thank you for everyone views and it definitely made me think about what happens when I do take other people’s kids out and they break/damage something.

My goodness OP, so pleased that your decency hasn't bitten you.

You sound like such a great woman.

As does the other car owner.

I'm so sorrry for you that your family are what they are.

Now you know.

You however are a wonderful woman.
I truly hope you get everything you deserve.

Your family sound fucking awful. You poor thing.

I’m glad you had the good luck to have your door bump into someone as kind and decent as you.

All the best flower. You good egg that ye are

@osbertthesyrianhamster

Your family sound fucking awful. You poor thing.

I agree... tbh I wouldn't have sent them the Car Owners very kind message.

Stay away from people who do not value you OP, your parents included.

Well done you 🌸

Stay away from people who do not value you OP

That too

I’m glad it’s turned out OK, he sounds like a nice bloke. Your family not so much though.☹️

Could you offer to go halves with your sister? Or thirds with parents? Cheaper for you than upping your insurance next year.

Just see your update. You and the other car owner sound nice, glad it worked out.

The car owner has treated you way better than your family

@Eddielzzard

The car owner has treated you way better than your family

Absolutely this.

Glad to read the update OP. Your family are really not nice. You deserve better 💐

@Imfinallyhappy1

Sorry for the late update. So I didnt speak with my parents or my sister since. My dad hung up on me when he was rude so I have t felt the need to talk anymore yet. I got a really nice test from the car driver saying this:

Hi thanks for the note you put on my car yesterday there is not much damage I’m sure some touch up paint will sort it out so no worries thanks for letting me know

So it’s a really good outcome for all involved. I screen shot and sent to my dad and he read but didn’t reply to me.

I said to the gent that I was very sorry and if he needed anything he has my number. He replied again saying he has young kids and understand what kids are like and to forget about it.

Thank you for everyone views and it definitely made me think about what happens when I do take other people’s kids out and they break/damage something.

Thats lovely of him, shows its always worth being honest as well.

That's so nice of the car owner. Shame about your dad though. I don't get his attitude. It wasn't your fault. I guess if you take his niece out again just open the door for her until she reaches the age of 18 lol

That was really nice of the car owner, op. Great update. Shame about your family. Hopefully they'll realise that the whole thing is silly and start replying to you.

I’d pay for my niece if it was an accident and I’d parked too close to another car. It’s the sort of thing kids do sometimes. I once opened the door of my best friend’s dad’s car smack into a concrete pillar! He didn’t say anything nor did he charge my parents for the dent!

Sounds a bit rude to ask her parents to pay!

Friends of mine have accidentally broken things eg overnight guest fell down a step into my kitchen and somehow ripped the door off a nearby cupboard trying to save herself. MIL once smashed the (luckily safety glass) shower screen when she slipped. It was covered by my insurance and even if it wasn’t wouldn’t dream of charging them for accidental damage. I’d warned friend about the step and MIL had chosen not to use the anti slip shower mat but accidents happen?

A friend’s DD knocked my coffee over recently and stained a very expensive rug. Mum was mortified and offered to pay for cleaning but I laughed it off. And hired a rug cleaner.

It’s not like your poor DN hit the car on purpose!

Her mother should be paying. You were already doing her a favour by taking her child out for the day. You warned her to be careful with her car door. She's almost in high school, she needs to learn to take responsibility for her own actions. You should not have to pay. Her mum should have to, and should then decide whether the girl should have to contribute in any way.

At what age do you think children could be allowed to open their own door?

I open the doors for my teenage step kids if I’ve parked in a tight space! It’s too easy for kids to forget, or think they’re in a different car, and swing the door open without registering what you said.

If I’m with DH and we’re pulling into a tight space whoever’s not driving gets out and gets all the kids out before he pulls into it.

Expecting kids (and some adults) to open doors without clipping the one next to them, then wriggle out through a tight space, is a little silly?

What a nice driver! Glad it worked out well for you OP

That driver was very kind and generous - but it sounds like you've still learned the hard way how little your family value you, OP.

I'd be inclined to stop taking my DN anywhere for now, and instead have contact at her home, where if she breaks anything, it's your parents' problem. Your family really haven't treated you that well over this incident and it's a real shame because you sound far lovelier than they deserve.

What a great update. We did the same when someone left a note on our car. It wasn't a new car and we wouldn't have bothered sorting out the ding if we had done it ourselves.

I understand that if you lease your car you might have to pay to get any dings repaired.

Maybe you and your sister go halves on the damage and if not then you and your sister ask the niece for a contribution and you and sister pay difference.

Note to self don’t take Niece out again.

We should be able to take third party liability for kids, like with dogs.

We do here in Germany. It is quite usual for them to cover accident costs (took a my DDs friend swimming with us when they were about 10 and a similar thing happened. Her dad's 3rd party insurance took care of everything)

Unfortunately, this is the one thing that 3rd Party Personal insurance doesn’t cover in Germany. When this happened to DH’s car the other driver’s girlfriend, who caused the damage by opening one of the doors too widely, wanted to claim on hers and they said no as the damage was caused by a vehicle. The owner had to claim on his car insurance instead.