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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend said they're planning to break Covid rules..

304 replies

ThoroughlyForumed · 25/10/2020 11:07

I was visiting a close friend yesterday evening (all fine in my location at the moment). We got to chatting about Christmas plans and what we would do 'if' rules changed or were upped in our area.
Luckily for me my family is a neat 6 so as long as we stay in medium we can celebrate together but obviously would change the plan if anything changed. Her family is a larger 11 and she very candidly just said they were all planning to celebrate together regardless of what rules are in place then. I sort of shrugged it off at the time as I didnt want to start a hypothetical argument but AIBU for being secretly pissed off with her for being so cavalier with Covid rules?

OP posts:
Mytimetokillandmaim · 25/10/2020 11:10

Yabu. Leave her to it. It's her family and xmas.
Stay away from her then and worry about your own family.

GirlCrush · 25/10/2020 11:10

Well you didn’t let your feelings be known so her conscience won’t ever be pricked will it!?

If a close friend questioned my own actions I’d give it some thought...

PinkiOcelot · 25/10/2020 11:13

The majority of people on here are planning on sticking their fingers up to the rules.
Did you not see the thread on it through the week? Made for depressing reading tbh.
No one gives a shit about the rules.

Original poster
ThoroughlyForumed · 25/10/2020 11:16

@Pinki no I hadn't seen the other thread although know the rules are pretty divisive!
I'm glad I didn't question her in the moment but the more I thought about it the more annoyed I got as she's really a sensible person who I wouldn't have thought would ever break the guidance

OP posts:
MrsHerculePoirot · 25/10/2020 11:17

Maybe everyone planning on breaking the rules because they’ve already ‘given up so much’ and ‘had enough’ or whatever should read the thread started by frontline NHS workers. I’m following the rules for them not the shit show of a government.

dorispiffle · 25/10/2020 11:18

I think most people are going to break the rules, even in a medium area when socialising with people from a different house hold you're supposed to be 2m apart or 1m with a mask- I can't see many adhering to that.

MrsJunglelow · 25/10/2020 11:19

I am astounded people are still following this nonsense tbh

Original poster
ThoroughlyForumed · 25/10/2020 11:20

Same here, everyone's given up a lot in so many ways.
Also my DM and FIL are both classified as vulnerable due to heart/respiratory illness so I'm being extra cautious.
One of my friends is a GP who got Covid back in April, she's suffered with the long Covid symptoms with fatigue and sickness since then and she's a healthy twenty-something

OP posts:
Tfoot75 · 25/10/2020 11:22

We don't even know what the rules will be at Christmas, a 2 day relaxation was talked about in the news this weekend. Only an opinion by one scientist, but I think the government/sage would be modelling extremely low compliance over the Christmas period anyway so it's not like this friend will be the only one.

OverTheRainbow88 · 25/10/2020 11:22

Because you are lucky that your family fit nicely into the random number 6 that the Gov plucked out of thin air.

So get off your high horse as you aren’t in the difficult position of who to see at Christmas and who not to. Such judgement

user1493494961 · 25/10/2020 11:23

I think the rules will be relaxed at Christmas as many people will break them in order to see family and the Government know this.

SeekingAnswers3 · 25/10/2020 11:23

How lucky for you that you only have six. My family totals 7... so i can either ask the grandparent on their own to have Christmas alone, or tell the other very elderly grandparents that they can’t come for dinner. Which would you choose?

I’ve followed the rules to the letter but I don’t see why anyone should have to be alone at Christmas.

ReneeRol · 25/10/2020 11:24

Nice for you that your family fits into the right number. You've no right to judge people whose families don't.

ChaChaCha2012 · 25/10/2020 11:24

If the rule was 4 people, what would you do?

Original poster
ThoroughlyForumed · 25/10/2020 11:26

I do acknowledge that I'm very lucky with the 6 but if there were more of us we would visit different family members in tandem and stick with whatever the rules are at the time. I agree no-one should feel alone at Christmas but chunks of time each is better than nothing

OP posts:
Hannah12345625 · 25/10/2020 11:27

If your family had 7 people in it, would you be fine with not seeing your grandparents, for example, on Christmas day? It's lucky that you have exactly 6 people. A lot of people are not in the same position as you!! Anyway, there is no point in thinking about how it will be at Christmas as most likely everything will be different again!!

SeekingAnswers3 · 25/10/2020 11:28

And if there are no other family? Then what?

ChaChaCha2012 · 25/10/2020 11:29

if there were more of us we would visit different family members in tandem

That's not reducing the risk of transmission is it? Can you see how illogical the rules are? They're arbitrary, and not evidence based.

flaviaritt · 25/10/2020 11:30

People can’t live like this forever. Freedom of association is a human right. Personally I’m willing to wait a bit longer for a vaccine but I sympathise with those who can’t bear not seeing their sisters, brothers and best friends any longer.

Original poster
ThoroughlyForumed · 25/10/2020 11:30

Ok. I don't have to apologise to anyone for having only 6 in my immediate family group. It's exactly and only luck. I didnt even say anything to my friend at the time so I dont know why people are getting on my back about a hypothetical opinion which I wasnt even sure about hence posting on AIBU... clearly AIBU and should accept that lots of people will be/are ignoring Covid guidelines

OP posts:
dorispiffle · 25/10/2020 11:31

if there were more of us we would visit different family members in tandem*
*
And you'd socially distance from all these people too? I doubt it.

TheKeatingFive · 25/10/2020 11:33

People will see their family at Christmas regardless of restrictions. Better get used to this.

I expect the government know that though and if they’re smart they’ll work with it rather than against it and try to encourage responsible mixing.

ThisIsntMeHonestGuv · 25/10/2020 11:34

So you are spending time and energy on the fact that someone might break rules in two months time, when you don't even know if they will apply at that point?

I mean, you do you, but honestly yes, yabu.

m0therofdragons · 25/10/2020 11:35

I’ve followed the C rules to the letter but I’ll struggle if government says I can’t see my family at Christmas. There would have to be high deaths and hospitalisation for me to stay away from my parents having only seen them 3 times since March (only seen dad twice as I have 3 dc so can’t meet both parents now). We have the lowest rates in England so the rules are hard to accept to be honest.

BitGutted · 25/10/2020 11:35

My brother and his wife are both in the police and say that there is an "expectation" people will not stick to the rule of 6 and provided there isn't 20+ people throwing all night parties it's likely to be overlooked as most police forces won't have the capacity to "police" 8 people at a house not 6 instead of attending a major emergency. It's a difficult one

We're having Christmas in stages

So us 4 plus mum and dad at breakfast

Us 4 plus sis in law and boyfriend at lunch

Tea is 4 plus aunt and uncle (who will lunch with my mum and dad)

Boxing Day my cousin and her daughter plus us 4

Sorted!