Toddler at playground - WIBU?

Asiama · 2020-09-19T20:30:19+00:00

DS is getting to an age where he can play at a playground with other children and I don't know what the etiquette is in the situation I experienced today for the first time. Another toddler kept pushing DS and shouted at him to get out of the way whenever he went past. DS didn't respond and I couldn't see the parents of the toddler nearby. When the toddler pushed my son for the fourth time I looked at him sternly and said "no! We don't do that!" Toddler threw himself on the ground and had a tantrum but then got up and carried on playing, and didn't push my son again. Was I unreasonable to "discipline" the other child? I wouldn't have liked it if someone else had done it to my child but then I would hope I stay nearby and keep an eye on him so I can step in.

Lockdownseperation · 19/09/2020 21:33

I would have said no pushing thank you in a normal voice and if it continued then removed my child.

Magicbabywaves · 19/09/2020 21:33

It’s fine. I do this and I wouldn’t mind if someone told my child off. (Although I wouldn’t have vanished and left my toddler -and I would have definitely told them off before you!).

SquishySquirmy · 19/09/2020 21:34

I think what you said was fine, unless you were yelling it or something. Its not really discipline, its intervening to prevent him pushing your child again - prevention rather than punishment iyswim.

Lockdownseperation · 19/09/2020 21:34

Th parent of the toddler may have had more than one child at the park and that other child may have need them more at that point in time.

purpleme12 · 19/09/2020 21:34

If the parent is not there or not doing anything yes I always intervene. What you say and how depends on the age of the child and what's happening. But yes I've always said something

NoKnit · 19/09/2020 21:35

If your child is old enough to play by himself then he should also be old enough to stand up for himself and tell the other child no he doesn't want hitting. I'm sure the other kids mother was watching from a distance and sniggering at you. I do that all the time

NoKnit · 19/09/2020 21:38

Are you sure you are talking about a toddler? Some kids are small, my youngest is 4.5 but very short and people often mistake him for 2.5-3 year old when he is more than capable of dealing with things by himself.

purpleme12 · 19/09/2020 21:38

?

Some children don't have the confidence for that.

latheritup · 19/09/2020 21:39

@NoKnit

If your child is old enough to play by himself then he should also be old enough to stand up for himself and tell the other child no he doesn't want hitting. I'm sure the other kids mother was watching from a distance and sniggering at you. I do that all the time

latheritup · 19/09/2020 21:39

I would have done the same, OP.

NoKnit · 19/09/2020 21:40

Sorry so what I'm saying is that this 'toddler' you describe could easily be over 4 years old. If your own 'toddler' (you don't say how old) is just standing in the way and not responding to the other child then of course the impulse of a 4 year old is to push out of the way

Mippi · 19/09/2020 21:40

@NoKnit

If your child is old enough to play by himself then he should also be old enough to stand up for himself and tell the other child no he doesn't want hitting. I'm sure the other kids mother was watching from a distance and sniggering at you. I do that all the time

Normal people don't stand back and let their toddlers fight it out at the playground!

You did fine OP, I would probably say it nicely rather than sternly. Very weird of the other parents not to intervene though.

RealityExistsInTheHumanMind · 19/09/2020 21:41

Of course you weren't unreasonable to chastise him.

Clearly it worked too - bonus.

No one would have needed to with your child because you would have beaten them to it.

If, further down the line, you have another child who you are seeing to and someone saw your older child do something unreasonable I am sure you would be fine with someone verbally correcting them so long as they did it in a reasonable manner.

Thisismytimetoshine · 19/09/2020 21:43

@NoKnit

If your child is old enough to play by himself then he should also be old enough to stand up for himself and tell the other child no he doesn't want hitting. I'm sure the other kids mother was watching from a distance and sniggering at you. I do that all the time

You are truly vile, you poor thing.

missyB1 · 19/09/2020 21:43

im sure the other kids mother was watching from a distance and sniggering, I do this all the time

Oh are you very young? I expect once you’ve grown up you won’t do this anymore.

ParadiseLaundry · 19/09/2020 21:45

What you did was perfectly reasonable OP. I often tell other people's kids off and would have no problem with others doing the same to mine.

surreygirl1987 · 19/09/2020 21:45

Of course you did the right thing as the parents weren't around. I had a similar issue the other day when a child took my toddler's ball and wouldn't give it back... Bit awkward when parents are nowhere to be seen!

NoKnit · 19/09/2020 21:46

Normal people don't stand back and let their toddlers fight it out at the playground!

Actually that depends on where you live, absolutely normal in country where I am. I find the interference of British parents on holiday extremely stuffy. That is not how to teach kids to think for themselves

Lookingbackatme · 19/09/2020 21:46

NoKnit

If your child is old enough to play by himself then he should also be old enough to stand up for himself and tell the other child no he doesn't want hitting. I'm sure the other kids mother was watching from a distance and sniggering at you. I do that all the time

You stand back and snigger? So you’re the one with the feral kids. Awful parenting.

HandfulofDust · 19/09/2020 21:47

I wouldn't discipline another child bit if they're repeatedly doing something obviously wrong like pushing or hitting then firmly telling them to stop is fine.

purpleme12 · 19/09/2020 21:47

@NoKnit

Normal people don't stand back and let their toddlers fight it out at the playground!

Actually that depends on where you live, absolutely normal in country where I am. I find the interference of British parents on holiday extremely stuffy. That is not how to teach kids to think for themselves

You encourage a child to stand up for themselves. However you can't force them. Some children don't have that confidence And sometimes that means showing them how to do it

BarnabyButterfly · 19/09/2020 21:48

@NoKnit

If your child is old enough to play by himself then he should also be old enough to stand up for himself and tell the other child no he doesn't want hitting. I'm sure the other kids mother was watching from a distance and sniggering at you. I do that all the time

What the actual hell?

Op you did nothing wrong, forget about it.

Incrediblytired · 19/09/2020 21:51

I would have done what you did.

BarnabyButterfly · 19/09/2020 21:52

I find the interference of British parents on holiday extremely stuffy. That is not how to teach kids to think for themselves

I find lazy parents who don't teach their feral DC how to behave in public extremely annoying. That is not how to parent a child.

80sbambino · 19/09/2020 21:52

YANBU, I think it’s totally reasonable to do that. I told a little girl (I’d say she was 3 or 4) firmly to stop pushing DS and other kids on a slide in a soft play - proper hard pushes, and she’d tried to bite DS as well. Just went in for a massive chomp of his arm when he tried to go down the slide! A few other parents had noticed her as well but she kept disappearing and we couldn’t tell which adult she’d come with. Eventually it turned out she’d come with her granddad, who was in the cafe at the other end of the huge indoor space, sat reading his paper.