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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask you to help me find this teddy bear for DD

200 replies

pinkcarpet · 11/09/2020 13:35

My DD (age 5) has had a teddy bear since she was born (was a gift from one of her aunts) and she absolutely loves it to death. Sleeps with it every night, runs to cuddle it when she is sad.

Unbeknown to me or DH she decided to put it in her schoolbag yesterday morning and take it to school. She got home from school and it was gone, no longer in her bag. She swears blind she left it in her bag all day but the last time she can remember seeing it is lunchtime yesterday.

She was in floods of tears yesterday afternoon, we retraced our steps all the way back to the school, looked in all the surrounding streets, I have posted on local groups and asked the school but no-one has seen it. We asked again at the school office this morning and still nothing. I have searched ebay and all the usual second hand sites I can think of but nothing is coming up.

So, AIBU to ask you to help me find a replacement bear, or should I use this as a life lesson for DD and not replace it?

To ask you to help me find this teddy bear for DD
OP posts:
SephrinaX · 11/09/2020 13:41

Can you ask her Aunt where she got it?

Original poster
pinkcarpet · 11/09/2020 13:45

It is made by Baker by Ted Baker, and originally sold in Debenhams for about £20. They are discontinued. There are similar ones on ebay but not this design/colour version.

OP posts:
Mellonsprite · 11/09/2020 13:48

One of the kids will have taken a fancy to it and taken it out of her bag. Ask the school to send a message to the parents of her class, to see if a child has taken it home.

SephrinaX · 11/09/2020 13:48

It looks likes the Ted Baker ones though.

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/402362365361

missnevermind · 11/09/2020 13:48

Could you get her a similar one and tell DD that it is her bears sister or cousin come to keep her company.

SephrinaX · 11/09/2020 13:48

@pinkcarpet

It is made by Baker by Ted Baker, and originally sold in Debenhams for about £20. They are discontinued. There are similar ones on ebay but not this design/colour version.
Ahh I see.
Original poster
pinkcarpet · 11/09/2020 13:49

Sorry @sephrinaX maybe I wasn't clear. I'm not asking to identify it, I know where it was originally purchased but they are discontinued. It was bought in 2014.

I'm asking if anyone knows of one that might be available for sale that I cannot find online, or if anyone has one lying at the back of a cupboard unused.

Or should I just tell DD "sorry they don't make them anymore" and she learns her lesson for losing it.

OP posts:
Original poster
pinkcarpet · 11/09/2020 13:49

It is a very raggedy and well loved version (much scruffier than the picture) and I have already asked all the parents in her class and the class teacher.

OP posts:
Gobbycop · 11/09/2020 13:52

Personally I'd keep trying to find it or replace it, she's only 5.

Plenty of time for life lessons.

Ishihtzuknot · 11/09/2020 13:54

It’s likely to still be at school somewhere, either a classroom/lost property/another child’s bag so there’s a good chance it’ll turn up at some point. Does the school have a Facebook page you can post to for non-class parents to see? Maybe directly message ted baker too as sometimes they do have discontinued stock.

TweetUsOnFacebook · 11/09/2020 13:57

If you can't find a replacement maybe lost bear could send a letter saying he/she has gone on a holiday but meanwhile a new friend will be coming to stay. Buy her a new one and hopefully in time she'll be happy with it and not do sad about lost bear.

Fingers crossed for you that the original turns up though. It's so sad when they lose a beloved soft toy.

Original poster
pinkcarpet · 11/09/2020 13:59

I'm pretty annoyed that she took it to school. She has been told multiple times to leave her toys at home and the school has a rule that nothing from home except a water bottle/lunchbox should be brought, which she should know as it has been drummed into them every day by the teacher since they went back!

She did it without telling anyone, and it was only when she got home and realised it was missing from her bag that she came clean and was in floods of tears.

She knows she did something silly, and she knows it is going to be really hard to find it or to replace it. But she's only 5 and she bloody loves this teddy so much and I don't think she's realised it might be gone forever. I have a limited time to find a replacement and finite resources to do so. I've spent 4 hours looking for it or a replacement already and I have a job and another DD to deal with. Why do kids get so attached to these things, and why do companies stop making them!!!

OP posts:
iwannascream · 11/09/2020 14:03

Hi I feel your pain as my daughter left her much loved teddy in a hospital waiting room many years ago, could you email or telephone Ted Baker customer services to ask for some help. They may have one sitting on a shelf that they could send you. It's worth a phone call or an email nothing ventured nothing gained lol

mummumumumumumumumumum · 11/09/2020 14:20

I had a toy i loved like she loved her teddy. I lost it in a carpark in Truro when i was 10, it was dark and i got out of the car to go to dinner and he must have fallen out. (the memory is burned into my brain!). I have never known loss like it and i know that sounds dramatic. I never got over it and my mum and I, if we are ever in the area still look for him. I am 43 now and for my 41st birthday my mum sourced a new one from ebay, actually helped by some posters on mumsnet. He was plastic and when i opened the box and smelt the smell of my beloved toy i sobbed like a baby. Please don't ever stop trying to find the teddy or a replacement. I know mine is a replacement but i have made him look as much like the original as i can and I have slept every night with him since

Original poster
pinkcarpet · 11/09/2020 14:33

Oh no that's so sad @mummumumumumumumumumum and I can literally feel the pain. She was so so upset yesterday.

OP posts:
Original poster
pinkcarpet · 11/09/2020 14:34

I've emailed Ted Baker but not holding out much hope as it would be stock from 5+ years ago.

OP posts:
mummumumumumumumumumum · 11/09/2020 14:36

Put it all over facebook, do you follow any of the instamums? i dont follow any of them but they might share?

Original poster
pinkcarpet · 11/09/2020 14:39

I've put it on every local facebook group I can think of. I'm not on instagram, I wouldn't even know who to ask on there.

I would much rather find the original than a replacement, but its been 24hrs now so I'm not very hopeful and adults aren't allowed in the school playground at the moment so having to rely on kids/teachers to look for it before the weekend when (if it is in the school still) it will likely be binned by the ruthless covid deep cleaning team.

OP posts:
SirVixofVixHall · 11/09/2020 14:40

I bought an identical teddy for my dd in case something like this happened. She found the pristine identical one , years after I had bought it, and was very confused. I had to confess that I had Teddy’s cousin, just in case Teddy ever decided to go on holiday...
Keep trying ebay and I am sure you will find the same style. Get an email alert, that will save you having to browse daily.

My childhood ted was stolen when I was a teenager, and I am still upset !

Cheetahfajita · 11/09/2020 14:42

Email school. One of the kids will have taken a shine to it and taken it home. It'll probably reappear today.

I'm a teacher Wink

SirVixofVixHall · 11/09/2020 14:43

I also wouldn’t be cross with your dd, these are unsettling times for everyone, I imagine she wanted the comfort of having him in her bag.

Cheetahfajita · 11/09/2020 14:43

Just seen you've spoken to school. Hopefully it'll be in a bag today and she'll bring it home.

DishRanAwayWithTheSpoon · 11/09/2020 14:43

I reckon someone from the school has taken it

Youd be unlikely to pick up a teddy from the street, but another child might take a teddy home they found in school. Not necessarily someone in DDs class

ginnybag · 11/09/2020 14:49

OP, it's not the same dress, but....

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/224147464324

Original poster
pinkcarpet · 11/09/2020 14:53

Thanks @ginnybag I have seen those, but the dress and the hair bow are different and the texture of the fur isn't quite the same. DD2 has one of the newer ones from 2018 and they are also a slightly different shape.

I know it would be similar - but to DD it would definitely be a new/different teddy and not a replacement, if that makes sense.

OP posts: