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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask you to help me find this teddy bear for DD

200 replies

pinkcarpet · 11/09/2020 13:35

My DD (age 5) has had a teddy bear since she was born (was a gift from one of her aunts) and she absolutely loves it to death. Sleeps with it every night, runs to cuddle it when she is sad.

Unbeknown to me or DH she decided to put it in her schoolbag yesterday morning and take it to school. She got home from school and it was gone, no longer in her bag. She swears blind she left it in her bag all day but the last time she can remember seeing it is lunchtime yesterday.

She was in floods of tears yesterday afternoon, we retraced our steps all the way back to the school, looked in all the surrounding streets, I have posted on local groups and asked the school but no-one has seen it. We asked again at the school office this morning and still nothing. I have searched ebay and all the usual second hand sites I can think of but nothing is coming up.

So, AIBU to ask you to help me find a replacement bear, or should I use this as a life lesson for DD and not replace it?

To ask you to help me find this teddy bear for DD
OP posts:
AnnaSW1 · 11/09/2020 14:55

I'd just buy her a similar one from eBay. Even if you find the identical one she'll know it's not the same one because of the wear and tear. I found the identical toy to replace my three year olds lost one. Both were in pristine condition yet she knew it was a replacement. Your daughter would know it's not the same one right away so I'd just help her choose a new one instead.

Yeahnahmum · 11/09/2020 15:00

Boohoo she is 5 not 2.. and been told not to take things to school by you, plenty of times . Action -->consequence.

And to be honest : every parent knows that when your kid had a favorite stuffed animal/doll... you make sure you buy a spare 😅

impatient2bmummy · 11/09/2020 15:03

Op, is the bear hard like the older style bears where the arms are attached to joint type thing or just a normal fluffy floppy bear? Blush sorry for my very untechnical description

catmumof1 · 11/09/2020 15:16

Some on Facebook marketplace but looks like it might be a different dress and bow.

Original poster
pinkcarpet · 11/09/2020 15:24

Its a fluffy one, no joints.

@yeahnahmum We've been looking for a spare for almost 4 years for this very reason. By the time she decided it was her absolute favourite (aged 2) it was no longer available to buy new and its never been on ebay in the whole time since then. My DH has had an alert for years just in case!

OP posts:
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 11/09/2020 15:30

If you can’t find her a replacement, do you know people who would send you postcards from the teddy, telling your dd about her adventures? Might that help her get over the loss?

I do sympathise - when ds1 was the same age, he had a little lamb (called Lamby), who came on holiday with us. Ds1 had a game called ‘bingy’ which involved flinging the lamb up and over his head, shouting bingy then retrieving it and doing it again. Unfortunately, he managed to bingy the lamb over a hedge, into the field next door, and try as we might, we couldn’t find it in the undergrowth. He was very sad - but had been warned that bingy was not a safe game for Lamby.

AntsDeck · 11/09/2020 15:33

@pinkcarpet - is it this one?

To ask you to help me find this teddy bear for DD
Rae36 · 11/09/2020 15:34

There's a lovely picture book called Tatty Ratty about a girl who loses her toy rabbit. The rabbit goes on lots of adventures and ends up coming home all clean and fluffy and with new buttons and his torn ear sewed up by Cinderella or some such thing (obviously it's a completely brand new toy).

Worth a read if you have to replace with something not quite identical?

Original poster
pinkcarpet · 11/09/2020 15:41

@AntsDeck it has a pink dress and different coloured embroidery nose and feet) but yes, similar to that one.

OP posts:
AntsDeck · 11/09/2020 15:46

@pinkcarpet - ok. If it's worth you taking a look, it's on Shpock x

Mama1980 · 11/09/2020 15:53

Oh op what a nightmare. Your poor dd. Have you emailed the teacher/head asked them to keep a lookout and for them to mention it to the cleaners?

I feel your pain. My ds1 lost his teddy at a museum once many years ago. He was distraught, luckily the cleaners found him and had been alerted by the management after my panic stricken phone call. He was posted back special delivery, and with a childrens book and note which was very kind. Ds was so relieved, and teddy has not left the house since. He's now 13 and still sleeps with him.

AriettyHomily · 11/09/2020 15:55

Message the WhatsApp groups and go in and search behind the cupboards. It'll be somewhere.

GreyishDays · 11/09/2020 15:56

Can you put a poster up outside school in case a parent knows their child has it?

TweetUsOnFacebook · 11/09/2020 15:56

Maybe print out the photo and details and ask for it to be put on the school notice board/office window.

Original poster
pinkcarpet · 11/09/2020 16:01

I've messaged all the parents, I've called the office and asked the cleaners to look for it. We are not allowed into the school due to covid so I am relying on others looking for it. Its very frustrating. I have seen the similar ones on ebay but if I'm going to spend £50 to replace it I'd rather get an actual replacement not a different version, if I can

OP posts:
Shelby30 · 11/09/2020 16:05

You should join some of the preloved ted baker groups on Facebook if you are on it. There is regularly bears up for sale but they often go for more than they were new. I believe the pattern on the dress is called oil painting and I hate to tell you I'm sure it's a rare one and would probably be quite expensive to replace like maybe £50/£60 if you found one 😕

katmarie · 11/09/2020 16:06

The only thing I can suggest if it doesn't turn up is that the fabric for the bears dress is used in a lot of other Ted Baker clothes, a last resort could be to get a similar bear, some fabric in the form of a skirt or scarf or something and have someone make up a new dress?

RandomMess · 11/09/2020 16:24

She will know it's a replacement regardless so buy her a different one from EBay and just be very understanding and empathetic.

Sad
Jeremyironseverything · 11/09/2020 16:28

I'm pretty sure its still in a class mates bag that hasn't been emptied out yet. Maybe this weekend, maybe even longer. Having looked in lots of children's bags over time, it's not uncommon to see letters and stuff that have been in there for months, without parents looking.

Don't give up hope yet. I'm sure it'll turn up.

parietal · 11/09/2020 16:46

our DD lost her monkey at about that age. we bought an identical replacement but she knew immediately that it wasn't the same monkey. So it was known as 'monkeys sister.

real monkey turned up 2 weeks later, so now we have two.

Busybusybust · 11/09/2020 16:54

The school is your best bet. Some child took it home. Hopefully that child will be told to take it back! If not, you must make a huge fuss.

chubbyhotchoc · 11/09/2020 16:56

Is there not a Facebook or WhatsApp group for the parents with kids in your DD's class? Somebody must have it there

Original poster
pinkcarpet · 11/09/2020 17:00

I have messaged all the class parents twice. I have put it on the school facebook group. I have called the school office and asked them to look for it and we have checked the school lost property bins and DDs teacher checked the classroom (parents not allowed into school premises at the moment). But no sign of it anywhere. How common is it for kids to take home other kids teddies? Its not a tiny thing that could fit in a pocket

OP posts:
BlueThistles · 11/09/2020 17:03

I know my child's Bears. Someone must know that their child has a Bear in their possession that wasn't in there before. Surely 🤔