To ask you to help me find this teddy bear for DD

[pinkcarpet]

My DD (age 5) has had a teddy bear since she was born (was a gift from one of her aunts) and she absolutely loves it to death. Sleeps with it every night, runs to cuddle it when she is sad.

Unbeknown to me or DH she decided to put it in her schoolbag yesterday morning and take it to school. She got home from school and it was gone, no longer in her bag. She swears blind she left it in her bag all day but the last time she can remember seeing it is lunchtime yesterday.

She was in floods of tears yesterday afternoon, we retraced our steps all the way back to the school, looked in all the surrounding streets, I have posted on local groups and asked the school but no-one has seen it. We asked again at the school office this morning and still nothing. I have searched ebay and all the usual second hand sites I can think of but nothing is coming up.

So, AIBU to ask you to help me find a replacement bear, or should I use this as a life lesson for DD and not replace it?

A bit of effort @DishRanAwayWithTheSpoon? Seriously?
As much as I agree this is sad and hope the teddy turns up, please do not suggest a teacher makes ‘a bit of effort’. The OP has already said the teacher has helped to look for it. I can tell you from someone who is working in a school through this pandemic, there is far less time than usual for us to ‘make an effort’.

OP I hope it turns up over the weekend. You did say you were concerned about it being thrown in a deep clean but I honestly think if the cleaners found it, they would put it in the school office or a nearby classroom.

Ah, poor little mite. Fingers crossed he turns up. Another child may have taken him, but hopefully she will get him back. Going to kiss his feet at break, that is so sweet, poor little thing.

@pinkcarpet is that extra fabric the teddy is sitting on in the picture? Could you not buy a bear in the wrong dress and have a local seamstress make a new little dress. I'm sure you'd be able to match the pink ribbon online.

I reckon another child has taken it too. Hopefully a parrnt may notice and youll get yiur bear back.

@EveryDayIsADuvetDay

tell her it caught covid? Social distancing lesson and don;t take toys to school when told not to all in one.

You would tell an upset young child her much loved missing toy has caught covid, to teach her a lesson?

Wow.

Unfortunately I don't have any extra fabric to make a dress although I'm trying to source some via resellers of Ted Baker scarves. The real teddy has been washed many times and doesn't look like that photo any more.

I've asked all the parents in her class to check bags. The school is strict about keeping classes separate so I don't think another kid outside her class would have it unless she left it lying in the playground for a long time and it was picked up when the other groups had their break (the school has split into 3 groups for each year that take staggered breaks)

Fingers crossed teddy has been "taken in error" and turns up at school on Monday

Is it possible she had her bag unzipped and it fell out somewhere?

My daughter lost a very precious cuddly toy when she was small and we put an ad in the local paper - it was free for lost and found. It fallen from under the pram and had been sitting behind a counter in the shop while they waited for someone to come and claim it.

Could you ask your local radio station to put out an appeal? Our local press loves that sort of thing.

Hi op huge sympathy. Just going to share some hope.
Dd2 (7) lost a monkey last year she was very upset about. It was also impossible to source. After lots of Facebook posting a neighbour gave me an identical monkey bought from the same local shop and I gave it to dd2. When she saw it her reaction was very strong and she went a bit foetal and didn't talk to anyone until bed time she was just doubled over this monkey. It made me realise how vital these items are.

Meanwhile a year later just lately another parent found original monkey when she redecorated her child's bedroom (where dd2 has been often) behind a cabin bed....so original monkey found its way home.

Secondly dd2 lost the bloody fitbit at school at the start of educare in March. I was assured all the staff and cleaners had looked for it and it couldn't be in the school as it would have been foung blah blah. Fitbit returned to dd2 in the last week of educare found by a cleaner right where dd2 said she took it off!!!!

Do they have lockers at school? It might be in one of the lockers.

I would double double check with the friends she showed it to...

I would also have an extra hard look in her bedroom and the house in general. It could just be she took it in on a different day and has completely forgotten no matter how much she thinks it was yesterday. (Ok its a small shot she's got the wrong day and coincidentally it is lost in the house, but as a parent of 3DCs here I'm used to the genuine swearing blind by small kids that they definitely did this or that on a certain day or time and occasionally, they are mistaken).

Another one - PE bags as a PP has said. Especially if PE bags are kept in lockers.

I would also ask the school if you could do a "Missing" type poster on the gate or the door for a few days. Could have been picked up by a toddler sibling on the school run. Surely if another child had taken it, it would be noticed by the parent eventually but they might not realise where it came from.

You really have my sympathies. My youngest has a teddy which features on 98% of family photos for 5 years because it was never out of her hands from being a baby. It has travelled extensively. It is now so precious that it is only allowed out of the house if me or DH are going too. The close 2nd favourite (easily replaceable, ha!) goes on the overnight trips to grandparents etc, mainly because I can't trust grandparents to keep an eye on the precious favourite teddy all the time when out and about and it would probably be left in a park which would lead to devastation . I hope you find it or its identical replacement soon.

This happened to us once, no sign of Patrick (DS's cuddly dog) when we got home from nursery. I was worried I'm put him on the roof of the car while strapping in DS and then just driven off. DS was distraught - we got a new one but it wasn't the same because original Patrick had been chewed and mended by grandma. He did turn up though, about a week later - on the way home DS had got him out of his bag and shoved him in the pocket on the back of the driver's seat.

Do you pick her up from school in the car? Could it be in there?

It went missing on Thursday, she told me it was in her bag when she left her classroom but when she arrived home it was missing. We went back and retraced steps immediately and went out looking again this morning. I have no way of knowing if it really was in her bag when she left the school as adults are not allowed into school grounds at the moment and she was picked up by a friend as I was working. She noticed straight away the teddy was gone from her bag so I think the day is correct but I don't know at what point during the day it went from her bag and I don't know if someone took it or it fell out in the classroom/playground.

There are no lockers. They keep their bags and outdoors shoes in cubbyholes at the back of the class. The teacher has already looked on Friday but will ask again on Monday. I'm losing hope of replacing it or finding it and cannot go into school to look myself. DD has been moping all day, doesn't want to play, just sits like a zombie watching tv and looking heartbroken.

Thank you for the stories of happy reunions @nevernotstruggling and @IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere. Maybe all hope is not lost yet

@pinkcarpet does she have the teddy every night for bed?

There is a very similar one on eBay France , you could always say she went to Paris to update her wardrobe and then had to quarantine .

Yes @corono she sleeps with it every night. On Thurs night I managed to distract her with a different teddy and thought we'd find it Friday at school. On Friday night she was crying for over an hour before going to sleep because reality of losing teddy had hit her and she woke again at 1am in tears and couldn't get back to sleep for a couple of hours so she's now exhausted and very sad.

@KitNCaboodle I was replying to a post suggesting it was ridiculous for a teacher to help. Read the context of my post.

You are deliberately twisting my post to get a point about teachers working hard, I made no indication that OPs teachers hadnt made an effort. Going round the school taping some posters and aaking at the start of a school day is 'a bit of effort' and tbh a key part of being a teacher.

Ok, so it was definitely the Thursday then @pinkcarpet !

I'd go for lost posters on lampposts and through doors on the school run?

He's there, he just needs a little help getting home.

Oh. Poor little thing. I really hope one of the little darlings brings Teddy back to school on Monday!

I'm 51, I'd still be absolutely heart broken if I lost my teddy.

When we were young we nearly missed an international flight as my sisters teddy was missing in New York (stop over) after turning the hotel upside down. We unpacked the suitcases and found him 🧸 one of my parents must have absent mindedly packed him!

It was a stressful time as we were moving overseas.

I still have that Ted too as heartless sister was going to throw him out as a teen. 😳🥺

the thought of her despair is very upsetting 🥺

If you could get the message out that he can be left back somewhere, without anyone seeing who has him, (presuming someone does) it might help.

I know that might not be an easy task at the moment. I'm so sorry for her, the poor little mite. Fingers crossed, he turns up next week.

I bet it’s on the school premises somewhere. My dd once lost a small giraffe in school - it had fallen out in the playground, got picked up by a nursery staff member and spent the weekend in nursery. If it’s been picked up by a teacher somewhere then it may be lodging in another classroom. Unless children are indulging in theft, they are usually very keen to return lost property to the owner.

If it was lunchtime she had it out to show friends... can she remember if she took it to play with in the playground rather than just standing by the cubbyholes? Is there any shrubbery it could have been dropped in by accident? Or could it have been left in the canteen if that's where she eats lunch? Has anyone asked the lunchtime staff?

I would bet it's still somewhere near or in the cubbyholes. Possibly in someone else's cubbyhole.

Otherwise I'd still ask if you could put a poster on the school gate and say it can be handed into reception if found.

@parietal

our DD lost her monkey at about that age. we bought an identical replacement but she knew immediately that it wasn't the same monkey. So it was known as 'monkeys sister.

real monkey turned up 2 weeks later, so now we have two.

Same. DD lost her monkey at a retail park. Very distinctive thing it was. I went in every shop (never forget the teenage shop assistant in GAME asking “a real monkey?!” )

Asked in TKMaxx who checked lost property and took my number in case anyone brought it in. 2 weeks later I was in there for a mooch and found it for sale in the toy dept! (Complete with DD’s snot/dribble marks.)

I tore the manager a new one, wrote to head office and got a £50 gift card as compensation.