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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask you to help me find this teddy bear for DD

200 replies

pinkcarpet · 11/09/2020 13:35

My DD (age 5) has had a teddy bear since she was born (was a gift from one of her aunts) and she absolutely loves it to death. Sleeps with it every night, runs to cuddle it when she is sad.

Unbeknown to me or DH she decided to put it in her schoolbag yesterday morning and take it to school. She got home from school and it was gone, no longer in her bag. She swears blind she left it in her bag all day but the last time she can remember seeing it is lunchtime yesterday.

She was in floods of tears yesterday afternoon, we retraced our steps all the way back to the school, looked in all the surrounding streets, I have posted on local groups and asked the school but no-one has seen it. We asked again at the school office this morning and still nothing. I have searched ebay and all the usual second hand sites I can think of but nothing is coming up.

So, AIBU to ask you to help me find a replacement bear, or should I use this as a life lesson for DD and not replace it?

To ask you to help me find this teddy bear for DD
OP posts:
Original poster
pinkcarpet · 11/09/2020 21:35

I will not be telling DD that her beloved teddy has caught covid!!!! She has been sobbing this evening. She said she can't stop thinking about her teddy being outside on her own in the dark and cold. Taken her over an hour to go to sleep.

She has other cuddly toys but noone is precious like this teddy and even a replacement won't be the same I fear. We have got friends looking for it in the area and will ask the school again on Monday but its been over 24hrs now so I'm losing hope

OP posts:
Original poster
pinkcarpet · 11/09/2020 21:39

@supertree it has only been on ebay once in the last 4 years and went for £85, my husband was bidding on it to have as a spare but he lost out to a higher bidder at the last minute. So they seem to be quite rare, annoyingly!

OP posts:
Original poster
pinkcarpet · 11/09/2020 21:58

DD is finally asleep after a lot of tears and now I'm trawling every website I can find. Is there anywhere apart from ebay, gumtree, shpock, depop that sells 2nd hand items?

OP posts:
VeggieSausageRoll · 11/09/2020 22:04

My money would be on one of the friends she showed it to. I wonder if their parents have actually looked for it or just asked them?

Original poster
pinkcarpet · 11/09/2020 22:17

Her two best friends parents have definitely looked for it and the friends helped search lost property at school today.

Norhing on any 2nd hand selling websites that I can find. Poor DD

OP posts:
RandomMess · 11/09/2020 22:30

No a replacement won't be the same so don't spend silly money on one.

Pick a couple of nice cuddly toys she does have and tick them up with her. It will take time and cuddles.

NerdyBird · 11/09/2020 22:33

I feel your pain (and your dds) OP. My daughter lost her beloved teddy some years ago. It was an m&s one and only a couple of years old but already discontinued. We'd previously looked on ebay but none available. DD managed for a bit with one of her other bears 'teddy's big brother' and we got the Tatty Ratty book and read that a lot. We were very lucky to find one that was only slightly different to original teddy after a while. I hope you find the right bear, I do recommend the book and a stand-in bear in the mean time.

Original poster
pinkcarpet · 11/09/2020 22:53

Thank you I will look for a copy of Tatty Ratty

OP posts:
Princessbanana · 11/09/2020 23:10

eBay?

To ask you to help me find this teddy bear for DD
eggofmantumbi · 12/09/2020 06:50

Have you tried vinted? There are some toys on there

GoldfishParade · 12/09/2020 07:01

Forget the replacement, it's not the same, and anyway: somebody must have this teddy.

Can you not organise with the teachers to do a massive thing where you put up "missing" photos (LOL) around the school and outside school gates, offering some kind of awesome reward (not money, something a kid would love). Get the teachers to tell their classes too. Tell all the kids that anyone who finds the bear and takes it to reception by (one week max) will be given this great reward.

Let's face it, some kid has it. It's just a question of coaxing them into being able to blamelessly give it back.

Whoopsies · 12/09/2020 07:05

Poor little thing. Ds once took a teddy into nursery (it was a specific themed one that went with the topic they were doing, he didn't care about it much so I didn't mind the risk) and it went missing. The teacher checked all the other bags and a little girl had put it in hers just because she wanted it. Kids don't think these things through sometimes!!

user1471538283 · 12/09/2020 07:48

One of the children has it. I would ask the headteacher if each teacher could ask on Monday morning or send a note to all the parents. Your poor DD

Polnm · 12/09/2020 08:11

@GoldfishParade

Forget the replacement, it's not the same, and anyway: somebody must have this teddy.

Can you not organise with the teachers to do a massive thing where you put up "missing" photos (LOL) around the school and outside school gates, offering some kind of awesome reward (not money, something a kid would love). Get the teachers to tell their classes too. Tell all the kids that anyone who finds the bear and takes it to reception by (one week max) will be given this great reward.

Let's face it, some kid has it. It's just a question of coaxing them into being able to blamelessly give it back.

In non cv19 times yo ask would be a piss take but At the moment any parent who suggested that clearly has no idea what is happening in schools
whatsoccuringnow · 12/09/2020 08:23

No advice but I hope it turns up. My DS has a ratty little monkey he brings everywhere. None of us are sure where it came from. His tag says made in 2002 and DS is only 2! I've often googled it to find a spare but no joy. Our little ones comfort teddies really are irreplaceable. I hope it turns up for her.

Coldhandscoldheart · 12/09/2020 08:24

Have you completely emptied her bag and all it’s pockets? Being an inveterate loser of things, sometimes they turn up where you’ve already looked. Checked in the sleeve & hood of her coat etc. Because sometimes things hide.

worlybear · 12/09/2020 08:25

Just a thought but did she have P.E.that day?
Have all the gym bags been checked?

Hotwaterbottlelove · 12/09/2020 08:53

This happened to me when I was 7. My stomach still lurches when I think about it. Sad

midnightstar66 · 12/09/2020 08:58

Have you retraced your steps if she was sure it was there on leaving the classroom? And posted on local group pages incase anyone has seen it. Our local area page has great success reuniting lost teddy's

Corono · 12/09/2020 09:14

tell her it caught covid?
Social distancing lesson and don;t take toys to school when told not to all in one.

@EveryDayIsADuvetDay how exactly would telling her it caught Covid help? What a nasty response.

OP, is it worth appealing to TB directly?

Original poster
pinkcarpet · 12/09/2020 09:23

We retraced our steps as soon as she noticed it was gone. My DH also went out that evening and the next day to look. We are not allowed in school grounds but the class teacher has looked and the school office have asked the cleaners to look too. I've posted on every local group and asked the school to put it on their social media accounts. We are going out to look in the streets again this morning. But if it was lying on the street we would have seen it by now. Its not in her bag, her jacket or anywhere in the house. I emptied every cupboard, box and drawer in the house last night looking.

OP posts:
boymum9 · 12/09/2020 09:24

I hope you manage to find it or an exact replacement! Poor little thing, I feel your pain too, I've been trying to find on eBay for 2 years now a particular white company sleeping bag that my now 5 year old left in an airport somewhere in America when he was 3, and he still talks about it and it breaks my heart!! It was his special comfort thing

Original poster
pinkcarpet · 12/09/2020 09:34

@boymum9 its heartbreaking when they are so attached to something. Reality has really sunk in this morning for DD, its going to be a difficult weekend for her

OP posts:
Griselda1 · 12/09/2020 10:06

Do sad for your daughter. I was brought up in a very poor household and a visiting uncle once bought me a very favourite toy. He went missing in my teens and I can still remember the smell, it's hard to explain how important a part of my childhood he was.
You're doing all you can do for her and I pray he turns up.

DishRanAwayWithTheSpoon · 12/09/2020 11:03

@polnm this is something that my mum (a teacher) has done, as she did the same when she lost her teddy as a child and found it.

If OP provides the missing posters it takes about 5 minutes, if you teach 5 year olds a bit of this sort of thing is necessary. A child has most likely taken the toy lets be honest, which means someone in the school has stolen something and Id expect a bit of effort to get it back