A greedy bastard breakfast

[SquishyBones]

I was speaking to an old friend this morning who laughed and asked if I still had greedy bastard breakfasts. I asked what he was on about and he started going on about what I used to eat really laughing and banging on and exagurating saying I used to eat a couple of boxes of cereal and 2 loaves of bread etc.

What I actually had was a bowl of cereal, toast, a yogurt and a banana. This is what he called a greedy bastard breakfast. I feel like he’s been taking the piss out of me for years for this but never had the balls to bring it up with me.

Of course not when there's a fag in your mouth and it's also well-known that smoking is an appetite-suppressant. Your diet sounds awful, about 1000-1200[ calories and low on nutrients. On top of smoking which is one of the worse things you can do for your health.

I make up the calorie count with Guinness

Funny to see all the competitive under-eaters falling over themselves to declare that anything more than half a grapefruit is too much for breakfast

You also have a lot of competitive over-eaters on here as well, though, who think it's not a proper meal unless you're completely stuffed afterwards. Neither attitude is healthy.

But most people in Britain have a very sedentary lifestyle and don't need as much food as they think they do. 2,000 calories is too much for most women nowadays, but people don't like to hear it.

I actually eat a very balanced diet.
Typical day for me would be as follows:
2 x Skinny lattes plus my disgusting fags and a shower to wake me up.
Walk 1 mile to train to work leaving 7.45am
10am - Clementine/banana depending on whether I was hungry or thirsty
11am - 5 mini Quorn sausages or 4 M&S mini sausage rolls or 1/5th of a quiche Lorraine.
1-2pm - 1/2 hour gym workout involving cardio and strength building.
3pm - Sandwich (I used to eat after the gym). Typically a ham sandwich from M&S.
5.30pm Finished work.
6pm Glass of wine or Pint of Guinness before heading home on train.
Home? Either further alcohol or maybe a fillet of salmon/grilled pork chop/fried pork chop with side salad of green leaves dressed solely with olive oil and white wine vinegar or a portion of beef stew/chicken casserole.
Before bed - so about 10.30pm Some oatey biscuits.
Lemon infused water throughout the day.
Take the stairs at work.
Walk to train station and home from train station.
Gym daily.
Also drink water after 12pm, with coffee before 12pm.
Usually a dissolvable Vit C in the am.

So F u all criticising my breakfast. I'm happy being slim and fit. If I ate what the OP eats for breakfast, I would literally need to go for a lie down!

Your breakfast sounds fine op...as a nation we are disordered eaters.

@GimmeAy
You have a LOT of processed meat in your diet if you eat ham sandwich plus mini sausages/quiche Lorraine everyday. Processed meat (ham, sausages, bacon etc) should be eaten in moderation eg 1-2 times a week.

I really thought this was going to be a thread on what your perfect greedy bastard breakfast would be.

Mine would be:

Glass of fresh orange and mango juice, (other juices available for refill purposes).
Greek full fat yogurt with Greek honey and a selection of cut fruits and berries. Especially raspberries.
Full fried breakfast with sausages, crispy bacon, baked beans, fried eggs sunny side up, black pudding, mushrooms. Ketchup at hand. Hold those fried tomatoes: not necessary.
2 rounds white toast with lots of proper butter. Toast lightly browned and still hot. Butter should be melted in ideally.
Pain au chocolat - large, crispy, flaky, and hot, rich, oozy chocolate in the middle.
Large pot of English tea and milk on side.

nomnomnom. Few things better in life than a greedy bastard breakfast and little else expected of you for the rest of the day.

Sounds like a perfectly ordinary breakfast. Tell him to go and shove a baguette where the sun don't shine.

Mm all these nice breakfasts have made me picture mine ...

Bacon ciabatta (not too crispy bacon, fresh and warm ciabatta with melted butter oozing out) and ketchup. Yorkshire tea,ilk, 2 sugars. Pain au chocolat for afters but a proper nice big one not the titchy mini ones usually given at hotels

So F u all criticising my breakfast. I'm happy being slim and fit. If I ate what the OP eats for breakfast, I would literally need to go for a lie down!

If you want people to fuck off and stop judging you, why don’t you try doing so first? It would be just as reasonable to express horror at all the cancer-causing cigarettes and processed meat in your diet, so hop off your high horse.

There is literally about 2% of my diet that consists of processed meat.

@GimmeAy you're taking the piss, four cigarettes before going to work your poor work colleagues having to deal with that foul stench!

Your stomach may be small but your lungs must be massive with carcinogenic shit and the amount of processed crap you eat.

Skint people like you are not healthy, you're just as risk of heart attack etc.

You need to address your lifestyle it's fucking awful.

Skinny not skint!

Although you must spend a lot of money on that shit food and fags (at £12 a packet) you're probably skint and skinny!

There is literally about 2% of my diet that consists of processed meat.

The other 98% is fags, processed "non meat" and a tiny bit of fruit! Way to go!

we’ve even got someone encouraging a greedy bastard breakfast Thread on a Sunday so folks can post just how much they’ve over eaten.

I started that thread and its nothing to do with over eating. Its about a one off treat because this thread was making me (and others) crave our favourite breakfasts. So this Sunday we are making our favourites, some may go big, others may not but its their choice.

A one off blow out is not over eating. If I was to eat my favourite breakfast every day I would be massive, so I dont. I am a size 10 and happy to have the occasional full english with more meat than plate thank you. Feel free to take your sanctimony elsewhere.

@LadyFeliciaMontague

Well that’s at least 3 breakfasts by a lot of people’s standards.

Usually it’s....
Cereal. Or
Toast. Or
Yogurt and banana

I don’t know many people who could eat all that in one sitting for the first meal of the day.
If you don’t eat lunch that’s fine but, for people who would also have lunch and dinner, that would be excessive.

You don't have teenagers do you? My ds could eat that twice over and claimed starving by lunchtime.

DH (BMI 21) has a large bowl of porridge every morning. Then at 10ish he has toast to keep him going until lunch. . And mid afternoon he has another large snack - piece of cake and some fruit. He runs 10km several times a week and is super fit.

People have different metabolisms. People eat in different ways. if the OP is happy then no one should make fun of her food choices.

if the OP is happy then no one should make fun of her food choices.

I wish the same applied to me. I never attacked the OP, I merely said that I personally couldn't eat all that at once. I was attacked aggressively and personally by the fatties presumably. Your obesity is causing the NHS just as much if not more than my smoking.

@gimmeay are you actually serious daring to name call so grossly?! And the gall to point out the effect of obesity on the NHS... As someone who smokes?! Omg pot kettle much! Hope you won't be claiming cancer treatment when those fags catch up on you!

I was attacked aggressively and personally by the fatties presumably

As a filthy drain on the NHS myself I was sympathetic to the attacks you got about your smoking. Smokers contribute approx £12B to the treasury and cost about £14B and thats just based on the tax from fags. It doesnt include the income tax paid by those people as well.

However, its comments like the one above that have caused you problems. In your OP and those following it was, as I say to my teenager, not what you said but the way you said it. Attitude is all.

My ideal greedy bastard breakfast is eggs florentine. I know that’s not quite what we’re doing here but just saying.

PyongyangKipperbang There are only a limited number of sneers and personal attacks that I'm willing to let slide without feeling a little bit fucking ganged up on. I wasn't personal about the OP. I struggle with many issues so am the last to criticise anyone else. But obesity is causing the NHS more than smoking, so if you keep coming at me, expect me to hit back at some point or another. There's only so much a person can take lying down.

I kept on topic about what my greedy bastard brekkie is too. I only mentioned the fatties as I was surrounded. Do or die eh?

Duke - what are eggs florentine? I could google - but something tells me you are going to make them sound more appealing than a recipe

FLorentine is spinach which has NO place on a breakfast plate.

FACT!

@GimmeAy

I get you, as a filthy addict myself I cant function without five minutes on the back step with a cancer stick. But I do it safe in the knowledge I will cost less than I have paid.

@EmmaGrundyForPM Let's presume why don't we, that given that this is MUMSNET, the OP isn't the very hungry caterpillar, the tiger who came to tea, nor a 6 foot male growing and active teen.

Happy to oblige! They are poached eggs, lovely and runny, in hollandaise sauce on English muffins with spinach. They are not a healthy option (see: hollandaise) but they are absolutely delicious. Best served on a hangover with strong coffee and no regrets, I find

PyongyangKipperbang Given my preference for brunch and a late lunch, you'd be surprised what I'd have for brunch!

Gimme your recipe pretty please? I like spinach.