To ask what the shittest sex you ever had is?

[Magicra84]

Saw someone who absolutely insisted he wanted a proper relationship and not just FWB but the few times I saw him which led to sex he left within ten mins of sex ending. Sex was shit too. Three thrusts and he was done. Rubbish! As he was very good looking I hoped it would get better. I didn't give it chance to after he left immediately after twice.

People asking about an equivalent thread by men on crap sex, I'm fairly certain there was one on here with male posters contributing, haven't a clue what it was titled though.

A guy I fancied and pulled in a night out. We went to his house as his mum was on holiday. He went down on me for two seconds then just started jackhammering, it was actually quite painful. Later on his brothers friend tried to get into bed with me...err what now? I got out ASAP.

1. guy was a 30 year old virgin. Had to use Viagra as could not get hard. Eventually got it "in". He started swearing "you fucking bitch". It went soft and fell out. He could only come by wanking himself off when I was wearing a black skirt. Turned out he was addicted to porn and had guilt isshoos.

2. very small penis. Had to shave his pubes off to make it more visible. Did not make up for it with either effort or technique. He was really arrogant as well. Just could not accept it when I dumped him. Took a lot of strength for me not to tell him one of the reasons why! He might have killed himself or something.

Yeah, I put a lot of effort into sex. Blokes often don't.

1. also had a personality transplant when he got drunk and would kick things. Deeply religious as well. Still living with his mother into his late 30s so I heard. Don't know what I ever saw in him!

I'm pretty confident men would say crap sex constitutes:

1. bad hygiene
2. lights off at all times

Basically, they would never say it's because our bodies aren't right. (too fat/vagina not small enough etc)

Wow. You have a very generous view of a lot of men, then...

A bloke who was good looking (or at least, he was then. I wouldn't find that sort of man at all attractive now: skinny and hairless) but had a tiny penis. It wasn't a micro penis but was very small and thin: about the size of my little finger.

Anyway, he kept going on about how good he was in bed and had had x many one-night-stands and that it was my problem that I didn't enjoy it with him. He was terrible though: he just shoved it in, thrust a couple of times and that was it. He was the most selfish man I've ever met.

He was a sulky bastard too and stropped when I said I didn't want any that night and that I wanted to go out instead. I saw him about 3 or so months before it ended - he sulked and I didn't bother chasing him. I told him how crap he was and that all those one-night-stands were exactly that because I was the only one stupid enough to go back for more.

If I'm really honest then the sex with DH is pretty shit now. Doesnt happen often, he has struggled with erectile issues (anxiety linked) and it's all a bit quick if he gets an erection and nothing exciting. TMI but I can get myself into a position so I can orgasm but it's not really because the sex is any good. I do love him though so it's just how its gonna be forever I guess. Maybe things will change once the kids leave home and it's not limited to late at night once they are asleep.

I found that sex in my late teens/early 20s was amazing. Any ONS or casual sex was adventurous and generally always good. Sex with DH early on was also great. I reckon casual sex now would be good but I would never cheat on DH.

Thinking about it there were 2 times where it wasnt good, one guy was so small it really didn't do anything and one was so big it hurt so much. He was lovely and knew it and was really considerate about it but it made it awkward and not really enjoyable. Neither of their faults of course but that's just how it was. It sounds awful as the first guy I had fancied for so long so it was a huge disappointment. Sounds so shallow but I was pretty young so I probably was.

I was about 17 and was in love with a lad the same age , I'm sure we were both virgins . We didn't live close to each other and he was training in the RAF so we didn't meet up very often
If things were hotting up , he'd go all bright red and sweaty and a heavy breathing . Tbh , it put me off , and as it was always in my mum and dad's house or his parents, so we never did !

I've had loads of shit sex. I've only had relationships with men who made the effort and cared about my pleasure though.

Bad sex:

• He kept grabbing my breasts and pulling on them (painfully, wtf, I told him to stop)
• I've had sex with several men (not at once!) who enjoy receiving oral but dont want to give oral they got dumped

-The worst one was when the guy wanted me to wee on him I didnt

Another one with a micro penis - he was about 6'6" so I would have expected at least a reasonable size. I think that was the only really bad one... so I've been pretty lucky guess.

There are either a lot of men with micro-penises or we've kept coming across the same ones...

I wonder what men would say asked this question? Without them having read this thread I mean.

Too late, I’ve read it now!

I think your attempts to centre the feelings of men yet again in a discussion that is primarily about women’s experiences is pathetic

I don’t have an opinion about that microdiscussion, but the thread is called “To ask what the shittest sex you ever had is?”, and so appears to be neutral on the subject of who can reply, even as it’s mostly women posting, for obvious reasons.

I’ve never had what I’d describe as shit sex, lucky me. Have only been with one woman(!), my wife of more than a few years now. Always make sure she comes at least once first, which is not meant as a boast; in fact, I sort of regard it as selfish on my part, as it’s so wonderful to just collapse into sleep straight afterwards, while she forgoes that luxury...

An older man who would say, "guide me inside you", when he was on top.

Why am I suddenly imagining a vicar.

My ex who didn't like to touch me intimately and once he'd finished would immediately leave the room to clean up. He had sensory issues and autism so I tried to understand but it left me feeling so used and alone.

Ex turned FWB. Categorically the best shag ever up to that point in my life. He never disappointed. Until ...

... we were both slightly drunk. Still all going great. He's on top of me and about to orgasm, when he moans:

"You know, I've always really fancied your mum and I'd love to do this with her!"

And that's how I found out that there is such a thing as an instant kill switch for sexual arousal.

"You know, I've always really fancied your mum and I'd love to do this with her!"

Oh my god. What did you say?

@MitziK brilliant! I'm stealing that!

Pisses me right off bean flickers. Don't flick it! You wouldn't like it if I flicked the end of your knob!! It's called a blow job but you don't see me blowing!!

Mine would be the one who took FOREVER to cum. I later found out it was cos he took Viagra. Really could have done without the hour long pounding. Followed by a roll over and snore stealing all the covers in winter. Don't know why I bothered coming back for more. I had to do all the work on myself.

An ex who wanted me to dress ‘sexily’ every time, it took all of the spontaneity out of it.
I have a bit of a problem with forced sexiness, it feels fake and ridiculous.

Also the jackhammers. It’s “Hello, I’m here, is there a nail under the bed you’re trying to hammer in?”

DP is wonderful, we’re very compatible, it’s hot, loving and funny, because the whole act is somewhat ridiculous, so occasionally (after we’re finished) we just burst out laughing!

Was about to have sex with this guy, he undressed and had the ugliest looking dick I've ever seen.Now I know none of them look great but this looked bumpy and abnormal. I feel bad looking back but I didn't fancy him much anyway so I got dressed made my exscuses and left.

I had the biggest crush on this guy at uni for 3 years - he was quite small, dark (Israeli I think) with long hair - I used to refer to him as God

When I finished with my long term twat BF I ended up going on a date with God.

We went back to mine and spent the whole night having sex without him ever finishing . I remember him standing up at one point as the sun was coming up and he went to close the curtain and pulled it off the wall!

I found out later that he was a bit of a stoner, which may not have helped. He was also circumcised so I had no idea what to do with it!

Biggest disappointment ever

I much prefer circumsised. Looks better and better sex imo.

And then there was the one who thought the phrase 'bean flicking' was actually an instruction. It's not a game of Subbuteo, Matthew.

OMG can’t stop laughing at that one!

Well some women do get designer vagina surgery and men do comment on womens vaginas just look at any male forum to see that.