To ask what the shittest sex you ever had is?

[Magicra84]

Saw someone who absolutely insisted he wanted a proper relationship and not just FWB but the few times I saw him which led to sex he left within ten mins of sex ending. Sex was shit too. Three thrusts and he was done. Rubbish! As he was very good looking I hoped it would get better. I didn't give it chance to after he left immediately after twice.

I dont expect a man to get circumsised I just prefer it and for some strange reason 90% of the men I slept with were circumsised so I kind of took it as the norm.

Being curious, I would really like see a male equivalent thread :)

Nah, there's various types of "she wouldn't be a pornstar", and horrific shaming.

Lesbian joke made DP and I laugh this morning

The guy who lost his virginity to a mattress 😂😂😂

I was working a season in a beach resort, all young people having fun in the sun. Fancied this guy who worked at a different business for weeks and weeks, we would always bump into each other when out, he was good looking, funny, we’d openly flirt and there was this electric chemistry, but never have the opportunity to seal the deal for whatever reason.... so weeks and weeks of flirtation and promise, never being fulfilled. Then one evening my group of friends was partying in the same place as his group of friends and as the night wore on it became apparent that finally, tonight was the night. We snuck down to a private beach, it was a beautiful place, full moon..... skinny dipping, snogging waist-deep in the water, so so good..... and then we got down to it on the sand aaaaand..... suddenly the chemistry just fizzled. It was so boring. He pinned me down so firmly I couldn’t really do much to participate, but he wasn’t doing anything himself that was actually pleasurable. He buried his face into the side of my neck and kinda of slobbered there whilst pumping away. It was BORING. I lay there working out what star formations I could identify.

Soooo disappointing.

First Sex after I split from dh - huge disappointment- no foreplay whatsoever just for straight into it and gave me a UTi.
Also wanted to call me princess

Many many shit sex experiences but absolute worst has to be the ex who was into wearing my pyjamas and silky dressing gown / acting like a small child and wanting to be mummied. I’d told him I wasn’t into it but he just kept insisting on this and other similar stuff. It absolutely killed sex for me for ages. I was a proper idiot to go along with it for so long but we’re all young and silly at some point.

First time. Small penis (but he learnt to use it better and we had some great sex after) and came before I even felt him in me.

I don’t think only the playboys are good though. I’m my husbands only ever partner and we have great sex.

Could have been very shit: an ex used to lick my anus even if I got into bed after I’d been to the toilet for a number 2 and even if I was unwell with diarrhoea or such

And once I was jackhammered. Never would allow that again.

Ladies, mid-shag he went in for a snog and burped in my mouth.

Not a little gurgle... an actual cavernous wet rumble. I felt my cheeks inflate.

Car sex...just not enough room for good sex

Not the act itself, but an ex (we had amazing sex - just fantastic!) went to Amsterdam after we split up and I hear he went with a prostitute (said he wanted the whole 'Amsterdam Experience') anyway, not long after he came back I bumped into him in a (packed) fast food place - me with new bf. he was pissed out of his brains and shouted at top of his voice "I'll pay you for a shag - name your price, aw come on" etc etc for about 10 mins. Everyone in the place (including new bf) obviously assumes I was in the game - totally mortified!!!

This thread is both hilarious and depressing.

I've had some terrible sex. I'm a bigger girl and so that comes with it's own challenges and amusements.

1. The guy, around 19 or 20 years old at the time, who was just rubbing his penis in the space between my thigh and labia. And carried on even when I told him what he was doing because "it felt good and wouldn't get me pregnant"

1. A fairly short man who I met when drunk, who wanted stand at the foot of the bed and shag me on the edge but wasn't quite tall enough so ended up doing some sort of Jump-Thrust movement combo.

1. A one night stand who was a two thrusts and done, with almost no foreplay, who then spent years every time we ran into each other asking for a repeat performance and unable to fathom why I said no.

Apart from one ex partner, who was amazing, the rest of the sex I've had has been pretty mediocre, usually due to a mismatch in libido or tastes or problems with the fact that it's harder to find a position that works for a larger lady and a man with a smaller penis.

I do enjoy sex with my DH but due to erectile issues it ain't frequent and it ain't great which depresses me a bit!

The jump-thrust combo is hilarious, Iwanted. Sounds like he got a good cardio workout, so silver linings.

Worst was an American guy I worked with who had clearly never heard of foreplay and just thrusted in me like an ever ready bunny for about a minute, ejaculated then wiped his cock on my bedsheets dressed and left.

Second worse almost ties for the first position, was a guy who loved to finger me but on this occasions but had horrid long scratchy nails and had eaten Fucking red hot chicken wings without washing his hands.....needless to say my fanny was on fire and he offered to buy me some yogurt to cool it down, but first he wanted me to suck him off !!!!!!

Most , really only two have been good (but they were very good)

I was a new young escort, maybe 21 years old
It was the first time I slept with a ‘older’ man, he was maybe 50, really good looking.
He kept pounding away while he kept going soft and I had to pretend I was enjoying it. Will never forget.

I actually still cringe when I think of my worst shag, it was really awful. It was the first time I’d slept with this guy and when I was on top, he started saying: “come on you slut,” “come on you little cunt,” in a really gruff, menacing voice. It completely put me off my stride so he flipped me over into missionary and he spat in my face.

I pushed him off, quickly got dressed and walked out of his house. Might sound daft but i got home and cried my eyes out, he’d made me feel like a piece of meat.

@MomsPubis I have actual tears running down my face laughing, I think it was the inflated cheeks that pushed me over, quite the visual!

@MomsPubis, me too!

Franco that's really terrible, he sounds insane.

The man who had a 2 inch willy shaped like a walnut whip.

He went down on me, and while he was there tried to take a sneaky picture.

He also asked me to pee on him. When I recoiled, he told me we could do it in the shower and it wouldn't make a mess.

Happy days of early 20s dating... do not miss them.

Ugh @FrancoBegbieif only you’d got in there first and stabbed him with an ice pick.
Bastard.

First time having penetrative sex he said afterwards, For someone so big I wasnt expecting you to be so tight".

I was a size 12 and 5ft 8.

there was the one who cried afterwards about how rubbish he was. i made polite noises, but he wasn’t wrong.

the self-styled knows-what-women-want confidence trickster whose entire routine was me pinching his nipples while he jackhammered away. reader, i married him.

and the ex who just wanted me to do stuff he’d seen in porn. he made me feel like a hole. his idea of foreplay was to stand between me and the telly and take his trousers off. lovely.

and the one night stand (nothing to write home about) who told me in the morning that he loved me, and then spent the next evening (to my horror) trying to hold my hand in the pub. i dealt with this impending crisis by getting hammered on Jack Daniels and having sex with him again.