To ask you if you have a real life crush on anyone?

[Rainbowb]

And would you do anything if you could completely get away with it?! Mine is my daughter’s swimming teacher, he has the sexiest smile and is so good with the kids. Totally gives me the flutters but I’m guessing he’s not into overweight bespectacled women in their forties!

So we can add another to the list:

#NotAllHeroesWearCapesTom

He text to basically say he will not be stopping his teaching during this insane pandemic. His words were heroic. I knew he’d do this! He’s courageous and invincible.

My Tom is doing it too but he's doing it online.

#onlineTom

@Allaboardthemagicbus2020 I find that ovulation is particularly problematic when in the vicinity of a Tom. Suddenly their forearm musculature becomes much more pronounced and their taught arses more shapely. My ovaries pinged so loudly this morning it woke the dog.

The teacher Toms have very taught arses.

Must stop thinking about taught and taut arses and do some work.

You know I knew it looked wrong but couldn't think of another way to write it. It's because I am being ruthlessly ruled by my ovaries and I'm helpless in their thrall

It's exactly the right word. The teacher Toms do have taught arses.

This is good stuff, girls - taught and taut. Sub categories with semantic resonance derived from the material reality.
Or something.

Keep it coming. Ovulation as a trigger.

Does ovulation seek competence?

Is a crush more dependent on competence during ovulation?

Is it sperm competence or spanner competence ovaries seek?

#puttinghandymanTominfirstplace

@Peaceanddove

My Tom pinged a message my way and guess what my first thought was?

Yep, taught arse.

I'VE GOT TO STOP THIS.

Oh god @SuckingDieselFella I am so sorry this is all my fault I have subverted you and tainted you

@Allaboardthemagicbus2020 just between you and me I believe ovulation just requires a damned hard shag with no questions asked. But please paraphrase that into competence as it makes me sound like less of a shameless hussie

Believe me, this is not the first time I've thought about his taught arse.

Repeat to self 100 times: I must stop objectifying Tom. He's an authority in his chosen subject and it is beneath the dignity of all concerned to speculate about his arse. It is a very taught arse though...

Is this the way that men think all the time? It wouldn't surprise me.

@peaceanddove I think ovulation can happen just hinking about a hard shag.

My Tom - ooh that sounds so wishful - is sooo out of bounds.

Hinking? FFS. Thinking.

@LadySpratt tell us more.

Is he by any chance a teacher or is he called Tom?

What about his arse forearms?

And why is he out of bounds?

All bets are off in the current climate.

@Sucking, no, not a teacher. A sort of ex-colleague. Much younger, but wise. He’s loosely attached, I’m firmly attached. His hands, oh my word, they can work wonders; of course all of this was entirely professional.
So bloody competent. Aargh!!

#MagicTom
#AddictiveTom

#AddictiveTom, the most dangerous kind!

Damn, I bet if any of them read this they’ll be taking notes.

Prepare to see men roll up their sleeves as they walk past.

If you encounter builders on a site, expect the conversation to be about creating space for aesthetic values to flow.

#geekTom will shift from barely coherent to complete technical verbosity. Expect him to throw in some Klingon to check you are listening.

@peaceanddove

just between you and me I believe ovulation just requires a damned hard shag with no questions asked. But please paraphrase that into competence as it makes me sound like less of a shameless hussie blush

Strategies to employ when ovulating

Avoidance
Distraction
Childcare crisis (real or invented)
Conversion to new, stricter faith

Our research found that whilst these strategies all achieved a degree of success during the random controlled trial, eventually the symptoms of crush returned, often with greater intensity.

A random sample of testees showed that in terms of lasting efficacy (here defined as a period > 10 minutes in presence of crush, the only long term satisfactory solution was what we define as the ‘release’ technique.

This will be discussed further in Chapter 3.

my #teacherTom is knowledgable and exudes such quiet confidence & self assurance, & manliness & just thinking about him gives me the fanny gallops.
Unfortunately I have quite a lot of competition for his affections from the other (slutty) school mums, it seems his charms are widely appreciated.
What I find weird though is he is completely not my type at all and yet I SO would, like a screen door in a hurricane swoon

YES! But I am 37 and he is 26. Stomach goes fluttery when I see him. Amazing smile. In a local band I absolutely love.

@Allaboardthemagicbus2020 theres a god! I have another legit reason to email Cop Tom! And this time he has to answer

I am very grateful for you hypothesis @Allaboardthemagicbus2020 it's reassuring to realise my predicament has a basis in scientific fact and isn't just the result of me shamelessly lusting over my own husband. I shall explain to him that it's really not my fault and beyond my control as I order him into the bedroom again

I’m thinking, perhaps an alternative double-blind trial. You’re both blindfolded. Now there’s a thought.

Scrap the randomised control bit.

@LadySpratt

That has given me a real laugh.

Yes, alternative double-blind study, sans blind.

We’ll call it dialectical thinking: removing bias at source.

Will be ground breaking. Or earth shattering. Mountains will move either way.

#uptothejobthereTom?