To ask you if you have a real life crush on anyone?

[Rainbowb]

And would you do anything if you could completely get away with it?! Mine is my daughter’s swimming teacher, he has the sexiest smile and is so good with the kids. Totally gives me the flutters but I’m guessing he’s not into overweight bespectacled women in their forties!

Because the reason we met is our DDs are friends and both do the same activity. There is a lot of hanging around at this activity.

I think I wrote that to show we get on well, rather than hes showing signs of being interested in me.
And I cant figure out if its nice to have a reason to spend time with him, or if crushes from afar are easier to deal with.
We get on well, and have a laugh. Even before I developed this stupid crush, we would have spent this time together.
I see this for what it is, purely a stupid one sided crush, not a Disney dream or romcom romance. He hasn't led me on at all. He doesnt flirt or make any suggestive comments. He isn't messing with my head on purpose....

My head is messed up because I'm long in the tooth and have been treated like shit to the point where I lost faith that decent men exist. Realistically I know not all men are bastards, many of my friends are married to decent husbands but I refused to entertain the idea of ever being in a relationship again in order to protect myself and DC from trauma.

This is the first time in decades that I've had a friendship with a male independantly rather than because I'm friends with his wife/work together etc. It's the first time in over 12 years that I've had any flutters and it has really thrown me. Especially because i know he hasn't done anything like flirt etc to trigger it, and he's married.
I suspect it's a combination of this, and genuinely enjoying his company that has triggered the crush. If he was single, I would definitely consider a relationship with him, and that is unsettling after being so resolutely single and independent for so long.

But he isn't single, he's married.
Trust me, I won't be going there, and if he did anything to imply interest, he would immediately be put into the "See! Most men ARE bastards" pile because I know too well what it's like to have a cheating husband and father of my children. Also, I will not be the other woman.

I keep meaning to ask if he has a single brother...

I'm waiting for this crush to pass, but in the meantime kind of enjoying the reigniting of whatever is going on for me, secretly, quietly and with no wish for anyone else to know....hence confessing anonymously on MN.

In a nutshell, he's floored me by being one of the good guys and handsome, funny, I feel relaxed in his company etc etc making me reconsider my resolutely single status. And he's sexy AF!

I've had the same crush for 5 years.
He was just some random guy who came in my workplace a couple of times a week and we chatted.
He has now moved in to the house next door but one!
With his girlfriend, who is lovely and friendly.
I still fancy him but the novelty is wearing of now I see him almost daily.

Isn't that part of what a crush is, though? Safe, because you would never go there? I think I want to keep my crush as a crush. I would possibly run a mile if he were to do anything.

It's nice daydreaming during the monotony of work, travel, etc

@BrainBetrayingMe I actually think that all sounds healthy and positive - you are still alive and have feeling and he is a safe place to start to feel those things again as you are sure you won't act on them

Yes, for 20yrs. Nothing will ever come of it, but it'll always be there I think.

I had a massive crush on a well known actor for years. His DC and my DC went to school/nursery together and I became friends with his DW who is also an actor. I could never fully relax on nights out in case I blurted out about my crush when under the influence. (I do think she would have found it funny though.) As time went on I realised that I didn’t actually like him as he was a lovely person, and not the bad boy he played on TV!

i do and i know the feeling is mutual. can’t wait to see him at half nine in the morning. my god he’s gorgeous and so nice with people

I have a massive crush on a woman at work, and I have done ever since I worked there. We are both married to men so nothing will ever happen but she is amazing.

@Cakewineorgin

James Nesbitt? Colin Farrell?

Give us a clue......

I have (a colleague for past half a year) and I did (started flirting more obviously with him and we slept together recently). It’s been a complete train wreck since but part of me is still thinking totally worth it.

My DPs best friend, who is ten years younger, single, gorgeous, sexy AF. He has the most piercing blue eyes, he’s six feet tall, fit, comes from an Italian family so will drop into fluent Italian randomly when drunk, is very tactile and gives the best hugs with a little hair kiss. Very funny, intelligent, passionate about justice, books, music, rugby...
Sigh. I wouldn’t do anything and I don’t think he actually even really knows I’m a girl. I think he ‘practices’ on me because I’m safe, as he’s actually very shy. But oh, when he’s had a few, looks at me with those eyes, and smiles a very sexy smirky smile, I am sorely tempted to scare the crap out of him and land one on him.
I feel better now, getting that off my chest.....

Why @Rainbowb he may just whip off your specs and tell you you’re beautiful! Do you actually have to concentrate very hard on what he’s saying to avoid drifting off looking at his hands, or jawline or whatever does it for you?

Yes and I'm sure he knows though he very kindly pretends not to. He was supporting me through a difficult time and was so kind and gentle and calming to be around. Nothing could ever happen because of his work role and he's married. But...but...being supported by someone like him after a very long and abusive marriage...sigh
He emails very occasionally to ask how I'm doing, all very correct and above board, and I sometimes long to write back and tell him how I feel. I won't though. It would all be excrutiatingly awful and embarrassing if I did. I dream a lot though...it makes life a little brighter!

Yes I'm learning a language and fancy my tutor a bit. I'm stuffing up my lessons because it makes me really nervous!

Yes. My ‘Tom’ is in the workplace but I don’t see him often. Often enough to have had some fucking amazing dreams though.

He has a degree in microbiology, has written a book for kids and is very funny, not my usual ‘type’ looks wise but looks you in the eyes when he speaks to you.
I’m very married, as is he.....
Oh well.

Yep, I do. He's a colleague from another company who I work with on a frequent basis. He's a lovely person and very good-looking, but I'm married and I suspect he may be gay!

@Normaknowall

Italian you say? Tall and shy? Where does he hang on out? I could take him off your hands.I’d be doing you a favour, really...

Oh yes. Would never do anything about it but a man I work with... Gutted I've changed role and don't come into contact with him any more. First time I worked with him my brain fried for a second and I completely forgot what I was supposed to be saying to him!

@Bigblue20 I can’t hand him over to just anyone. He’s not perfect, you know. He sings in the car, wears a flat cap and drinks OJ straight from the carton.
Can you look past his being unable to cook? If you can, he’ll be a pushover.

DP thinks it’s hilarious. He even brought him out on Valentines night because he had no date (!?!) and encouraged him to wear his leather jacket, tshirt and ripped jeans. Cliche for a reason, people... It was the best V Day present I’d ever had, except I couldn’t take him home and unwrap him. I looked like the unglamorous chum out with her gay best friend couple, sadly, although my threesome fantasies were ramping up. He’s kind of like a less muscly version of Chris Evans, with the beard. Actor Chris Evans.

He even smells good. I’m a drooling mess just typing this. FFS.

Oh no @Norma this is not good - my role will be therapeutic for both of you.

I sing everywhere - its the Irish in me. We are made for each other as I can’t cook either but then if he’s that bad, he won’t know will he??!!!

Chris Evans...

Men have really upped their game since they discovered grooming products. They really are getting revenge for years of makeup and good clothes.

My neighbour, he knows I have a huge crush on him after a drunken night out last year. He isn’t my usual type at all physically, he’s nice, kind and has a cute dog. I’ll be watching him tonight (on TV, I’m not a stalker). My boyfriend fancies him too, so we sometimes sit and look at his various instagram pictures like 13 year olds 😂

@bigblue20 blue is his favourite colour. It’s probably fate.

But I’ll still be checking out his arse and being all gooey over his giggly drunkenness even if you get married. My crush is as deep as it is inappropriate. Thankfully he is oblivious.

A school dad. Currently divorcing one of my friends and I am married.

Thing is, I see why she's divorcing him. Negative, grumpy, quite selfish. But I also see her flaws - flighty, disengaged, also a bit selfish.

I feel for both of them though as they're both unhappy and going through shit.

Stayed for a glass of wine picking kids up when she was out. And fuck, thats something I won't be doing again. You could actually see the chemistry.

Lovely eyes, kind smile, easy to talk to.

Doesn't help me and my husband have had a few dramas lately.

See my username. Really did not invite this feeling into my life!