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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Breastfeeding toddler in a shop, AIBU?

999 replies

Refreshed · 17/02/2020 11:46

To cut a long story short, out this morning and fed DS (2.5) sitting on a cushion seat in a shoe shop. A few other customers around but nobody even looking like they'd like to try on shoes. All other seats next to me completely free.

An assistant came up to me and said please can I do that somewhere else? The seats are for trying on seats only.

DS was done by this point anyway so I got up and left.

AIBU to have fed him there, and see it as an acceptable place to feed? No other people were sitting there and I wasn't preventing anyone from sitting next to us in the mny other seats avaible Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
Refreshed · 17/02/2020 11:47

Sorry for the multiple typos! That should say trying on shoes

OP posts:
sickandtiredofsick · 17/02/2020 11:48

It wasn’t busy , it was fine

Rosehip345 · 17/02/2020 11:49

It depends if he’s 2.5mths or years?!

Nicknacky · 17/02/2020 11:50

Why did you need to do it there?

I would have went to a coffee shop or somewhere where I could get a drink and relax.

Original poster
Refreshed · 17/02/2020 11:50

2.5 years (the title does say toddler)

OP posts:
sickandtiredofsick · 17/02/2020 11:50

Why does it matter if he was 2 months or 2 years ?? What does the age of the child change ! It’s recommended to breastfeed till 3

SarahAndQuack · 17/02/2020 11:50

Was it obvious you were in the middle of buying shoes? I think if you were, it's fine, but if you looked as if you'd just wandered in and sat down, they might be a bit narked.

I don't think the issue should be the breastfeeding, so much as that you were sitting there not actively trying on shoes.

It is a bit strict given you say no one else seemed to want to sit down, so they weren't very busy, but on the other hand I get why shop assistants might get fed up with people who aren't actually shopping being there. The other day I was buying something for DD and two women managed to have a whole conversation and were still standing around cluttering up the shop by the time I'd paid and got out! Then they wandered out again having bought nothing.

garbagegirl · 17/02/2020 11:50

It depends if he’s 2.5mths or years?!

No, it really shouldn't!

knittedgoldfish · 17/02/2020 11:51

@rosehip345 ...why would that matter?

If it wasn't busy then she was being a jobs worth.

PrincessHoneysuckle · 17/02/2020 11:51

Yabu a 2.5 year old doesn't need to be breast fed imo.

DrunkenUnicorn · 17/02/2020 11:51

Meh, technically the seats were for paying customers trying on shoes so you could argue you shouldn’t have been feeding there but only IF they would have the said the same to someone bottlefeeding their baby- ie it really was the taking up of space that customers might use that they had issues with not the breastfeeding.

forkfun · 17/02/2020 11:52

Would you have given him any other snack there? I don't think shoe or clothes shops are places to eat and drink. Don't care whether the nourishment comes out if a breast or bottle. I think the only exception would be a wailing newborn. A 2.5 year old can wait until you are somewhere suitable for eating (cafe, our local library has an area where you can eat, a bench, etc.)

Original poster
Refreshed · 17/02/2020 11:52

Nick Does it really matter why? If he ever feeds in public now it's only ever for a quick one. No point in sitting down and relaxing somewhere for coffees because he's done within a few minutes.

And the shop I was in was one you have to drive to, then drive again to reach anothee retail outlet

OP posts:
stealthbanana · 17/02/2020 11:53

It’s a bit of an odd place to feed, particularly a toddler who can wait until an appropriate time. I can imagine feeding a tiny baby in a shop if you were caught short but don’t really see why you’d do it for an older child.

I mean, you wouldn’t sit your toddler down on that seat and give them a sandwich or some crackers would you? (Would you??!)

Nicknacky · 17/02/2020 11:53

Of course it matters why you sat there. It’s a place for trying on shoes.

rottiemum88 · 17/02/2020 11:53

I'm a bit on the fence, edging towards YABU.

As you say, it wasn't busy so you weren't actively getting in anyone's way. However the assistant was right that those seats are intended for people who want to try on shoes, so using them for any other purpose isn't strictly speaking very reasonable either.

Was there nowhere more appropriate you could have chosen to feed, like a cafe for example? At 2.5 years it's not like you're tied to a regular feeding schedule in the same way you would be with a breastfed newborn, so I just don't know why you'd choose to do it there.

AlexaAmbidextra · 17/02/2020 11:53

Why would a 2.5 year old need to be breastfed while out shopping?

OldEvilOwl · 17/02/2020 11:54

Well the seats are for customers wanting to try shoes on so YABU. Also being 2.5yrs surely he/she could have waited

NotYourHun · 17/02/2020 11:54

I’m breastfeeding a toddler currently. I’d feed him whenever/wherever he needed feeding but I wouldn’t sit somewhere feeding if I wasn’t actually (or planning to be) a paying customer in that particular shop. I appreciate it’s not busy now but it nought next annoying for them if it suddenly gets busy. It is half term as well! Toddlers do tend to be able to wait a bit or distracted as well.

sickandtiredofsick · 17/02/2020 11:54

I think a lot of people are making the (wrong) connection with breastmilk for a 2.5 being food, it’s also a massive source of comfort and 2.5 is a hard age so saying oh you wouldn’t give them a sandwich etc isnt really the right comparison

nocluewhattodoo · 17/02/2020 11:55

Did you go into the shop purely because they had seats so you could sit and feed? Or were you planning on buying shoes before the staff member was brusque with you?

I can understand staff being annoyed that someone has come into the shop and plonked themselves down with no intention of purchasing anything - you wouldn't do that in a cafe or restaurant.

Some people are weird about breastfeeding, as you can see on this thread, which is why I imagine the shop person tried to move you on as it might put off other customers. I fed DD for 2 years, often out in public and never had a negative comment or even an odd look from anyone.

Kolo · 17/02/2020 11:55

I agree with @SarahAndQuack. If you were in the shop anyway, trying shoes on, or with someone looking for shoes, then I think it's perfectly acceptable. In fact I think it's perfectly acceptable to nurse a small child anywhere public. I could understand them not being so happy if you'd gone in deliberately to feed your child and weren't there shopping.

LolaLollypop · 17/02/2020 11:55

I think a 2.5 year old can wait for a snack. Like PP said, if my daughter demanded her lunch in the middle of a shoe shop I'd tell her to wait.

Younger babies who are crying to be fed, of course, do it as soon is convenient.

sickandtiredofsick · 17/02/2020 11:56

My 2 year old is fed 3 times in the night and has about 5 feeds in the day one big one at nap time and the rest are just a few minutes it’s actually quite normal

Seeline · 17/02/2020 11:56

Were you actually buying shoes?

If not, YWBU. If you had to drive there, you could have sat in the car and fed him. If you were waiting to be served, then fine. I really don't think you can wander into any shop and plonk yourself down on a customer seat just to feed at any age.