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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Breastfeeding toddler in a shop, AIBU?

999 replies

Refreshed · 17/02/2020 11:46

To cut a long story short, out this morning and fed DS (2.5) sitting on a cushion seat in a shoe shop. A few other customers around but nobody even looking like they'd like to try on shoes. All other seats next to me completely free.

An assistant came up to me and said please can I do that somewhere else? The seats are for trying on seats only.

DS was done by this point anyway so I got up and left.

AIBU to have fed him there, and see it as an acceptable place to feed? No other people were sitting there and I wasn't preventing anyone from sitting next to us in the mny other seats avaible Confused

OP posts:
BigChocFrenzy · 17/02/2020 12:16

It's OK if you were in the middle of trying on shoes and he got restless

However, cheeky to go in there and just BF

Those seats are there only for trying on shoes, not for people who are hungry, tired or needing comfort, whether age 3 or age 30

and regardless of whether noone was waiting for a seat

I'd not be surprised at the shop wanting to move on people who weren't using the seats for the intended purpose

Ohyesyoudid · 17/02/2020 12:18

YANBU

You are protected by law to be able to breastfeed your child.
Staff should be trained on this and you should complain to head office of the store responsible for telling you to move.

How people think this is U is beyond me?!!??
It doesn't matter if it's for comfort or food, the child wanted feeding, breastfeeding is protected by law and nobody was around.

Rosehip345 · 17/02/2020 12:20

Because a 2.5mth old hasn’t learnt to wait until appropriate mealtimes whereas a 2yr old can wait until you’re somewhere more appropriate.

GinLimeandLemonade · 17/02/2020 12:21

YWNBU - I've done similar with my son, and he was older than 2 and a half too.

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 17/02/2020 12:23

At what age/when to stop BF is a personal choice, and nobody elses business.

In this situation I think you just happened to come across someone who is weird about BFing older babies. I think people can be a bit odd about that.

Original poster
Refreshed · 17/02/2020 12:24

But what's inappropriate about feeding in 1 space nobody is occupying? To put it into perspective, even if every person in there sat down, there could still have been more seats available than occupied. Nobody was prevented for using the seats to try on shoes. And I was a customer too, having just bought shoes.

Funnily enough, I've nevee seen anyone try removing the fed up shopping partners on a busy Saturday, whilst who they're with is looking around.

OP posts:
Andtwomakesix · 17/02/2020 12:25

I am all for woman being able to feed in public and did so myself many times over a 3 year period. But I only fed mine somewhere I would sit and have a snack myself. Like sat on a bench in the park or shopping centre, in a cafe or restaurant. I tended to think if I wouldn't sit there and eat a snack (which I wouldn't do in the middle of a shop) I wouldn't stop and feed a baby. That said, if I worked there I wouldn't have said anything on that occasion as you blatantly weren't driving customers away taking up space.

KatherineJaneway · 17/02/2020 12:26

It might have been the assistant was uncomfortable with you breastfeeding a child of that age.

BuzzLiteYear · 17/02/2020 12:26

It would be fascinating if you had a friend who has a baby that's being bottle fed and they went to the same shop and fed their baby from a bottle.
I'm willing to bet the staff wouldn't say anything.

couchlover · 17/02/2020 12:27

Personally at 2.5 years he doesn't need to be fed there and then and could have been placated with a snack until you found somewhere more appropriate like a cafe to feed him.

Now if he was a small baby then fair enough, they need feeding when they need feeding so as you weren't taking up space for a paying customer then I think it would be fine to feed there.

WeAllHaveWings · 17/02/2020 12:28

IMO YABU, he is not an on demand bf infant, feed him somewhere more appropriate for feeding toddlers not a seat for customers trying on shoes in a shoe shop.

Juliette20 · 17/02/2020 12:28

I think YAB (a bit) U, OP, if you weren't in the middle of shoe-buying.

cochineal7 · 17/02/2020 12:28

I am all for breastfeeding and am fine in public. But a shoe shop is not a public space to use as you see fit. There is a difference to a park bench or a coffee shop where you are having a drink. Just in a shoe shop? No. Would you use this bench to sit down and have a sandwich or read a book?

ParadiseLaundry · 17/02/2020 12:30

How people think this is U is beyond me?!!??

I agree but Mumsnetters are evangelical about rules. Unless it's people with small children parking in parent and child parking spaces. And now breastfeeding in public it seems.

wednesday32 · 17/02/2020 12:31

ultimately you don't think you were being unreasonable so just leave it and move on with your life x

2020vision10 · 17/02/2020 12:31

Probably not the best place but if it wasn't busy and the seats were free I don't see it being a big issue, I'm assuming it was a quick feed and that you would have moved if someone needed the seat.

WarrenNicole · 17/02/2020 12:32

You were not being unreasonable. My son is almost 3. I’m still breastfeeding. I would have done the same. He feeds for about 10 seconds then he is done. No need to go to a cafe/back to my car etc for that.

Circlesroundandround · 17/02/2020 12:32

YANBU and well done for the extended feeding! I would be inclined to write a letter of complaint.

chocolatemademefat · 17/02/2020 12:34

Totally inappropriate to go into a shop purely to breastfeed. Not everyone is comfortable being around breastfeeding mums - men in particular in a place like a shop. There’s every chance you lost them sales.

At two and a half years your child could have waited until you found a more sensible place to do it. I don’t care how long woman breastfeed their children but I wouldn’t be sitting down next to them to try on shoes.

Your behaviour was very entitled and unfair to the shop owner. Sometimes children just have to be told no.

MyDcAreMarvel · 17/02/2020 12:35

What a horrible thread, op Yanbu.

maras2 · 17/02/2020 12:35

Daily Mail sad face pic please, or it didn't happen. Wink

AriadnesFilament · 17/02/2020 12:36

Yes, you were being unreasonable. People use those seats too often just to have a sit down/give their kids a snack/sit with someone while they try on a pair of shoes and it’s a right pain.

2.5 is old enough to wait for any kind of snack until you get somewhere that’s appropriate. It doesn’t matter that it was BF.

KarmaStar · 17/02/2020 12:37

Op,why ask if Yabu or not then argue that you are not?

amusedbush · 17/02/2020 12:38

It depends if he’s 2.5mths or years?!

what has that got to do with anything?

Because the majority of 2.5 year olds can speak and understand when they are told to wait. It wasn't a screaming infant, it was a toddler.

snowone · 17/02/2020 12:39

Everyone will have their own opinion about this - only you know if you were being unreasonable or not.

Personally I don't think a 2.5 year old needs breastfeeding instantly in the middle of a shop ASD or no ASD.