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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Breastfeeding toddler in a shop, AIBU?

999 replies

Refreshed · 17/02/2020 11:46

To cut a long story short, out this morning and fed DS (2.5) sitting on a cushion seat in a shoe shop. A few other customers around but nobody even looking like they'd like to try on shoes. All other seats next to me completely free.

An assistant came up to me and said please can I do that somewhere else? The seats are for trying on seats only.

DS was done by this point anyway so I got up and left.

AIBU to have fed him there, and see it as an acceptable place to feed? No other people were sitting there and I wasn't preventing anyone from sitting next to us in the mny other seats avaible Confused

OP posts:
WaitrosesCheapestVodka · 17/02/2020 11:57

And the shop I was in was one you have to drive to, then drive again to reach anothee retail outlet

YANBU in that case. It's not as easy as nipping out to another accessible warm place.

I thought legally a woman can breastfeed anywhere public, including shops?

10FrozenFingers · 17/02/2020 11:57

I think you had a cheek.

Maybe excusable with a new born but not with a toddler. Very rude of you.

Original poster
Refreshed · 17/02/2020 11:57

I mean, you wouldn’t sit your toddler down on that seat and give them a sandwich or some crackers would you? (Would you??!)

No because that's bloody messy

OP posts:
Original poster
Refreshed · 17/02/2020 11:57

I mean, you wouldn’t sit your toddler down on that seat and give them a sandwich or some crackers would you? (Would you??!)

No because that's bloody messy

OP posts:
user1471449295 · 17/02/2020 11:58

If you just saw a seat and went in to BF then yeah YABU. It’s not an public seat. If you were buying shoes then yanbu

AmazingGreats · 17/02/2020 11:58

YABU not the time or place in a shoe shop. Maybe a tiny baby, but even then I think that shoe shops are not a place to eat or drink. I wouldn't give my child that age a beaker of water in a shoe shop. I wouldn't bottle feed or breastfeed in a shoe shop.

Original poster
Refreshed · 17/02/2020 11:58

I mean, you wouldn’t sit your toddler down on that seat and give them a sandwich or some crackers would you? (Would you??!)

^No, because food is messy and can smell.

For those asking, yes we did buy shoes. But I didn't need to try them on him

OP posts:
tiddlerthefish · 17/02/2020 11:59

I don't think issue is actually BF here. I think it's that you were sat somewhere for paying customers (or potentially paying customers) and you weren't one.

If you were trying on shoes and got caught short then yeah I think it's fine to feed your child there, regardless of age. If your child wanted a feed and you just stopped off there because it was a free seat and you had no intention of buying from that shop then YABU and should have gone to a coffee shop (and bought a coffee!) or otherwise found a free public seating area/feeding area if there as one.

Nicknacky · 17/02/2020 11:59

You could have went back to your car?

I’m all for breastfeeding, I breastfed my youngest but I wouldn’t have just plonked myself down in a shop in an area that was designed for another use.

OldEvilOwl · 17/02/2020 12:00

Well the seats are for customers wanting to try shoes on so YABU. Also being 2.5yrs surely he/she could have waited

Nowayorhighway · 17/02/2020 12:00

A 2.5 year old doesn’t need to be breastfed in the middle of a shoe shop. I’m still BFing my 15 month old but rarely have to in public anymore, he can have a snack instead like a regular toddler.

Baaaahhhhh · 17/02/2020 12:00

It really does matter if it is 2.5mths or 2.5years. A 2.5 year old does not need demand feeding in a shoe shop. Were you even shopping for shoes?

forkfun · 17/02/2020 12:00

But if it's about comfort, sickandtiredofsick, why not just comfort the child with a hug or a cuddle or talk about it? I'm completely pro breastfeeding for however long people choose, but I don't think that gives you the automatic entitlement to do so whenever and wherever. It's important for kids to learn that sometimes they have to wait (young kids, not babies obviously).

sickandtiredofsick · 17/02/2020 12:01

Yes because 2 year olds are well known for their patience .....

Nicknacky · 17/02/2020 12:01

sick And as a parent it’s up to you to manage their patience. You are the adult and in charge.

OldEvilOwl · 17/02/2020 12:02

Don't know why my post posted twice Confused

Sux2buthen · 17/02/2020 12:02

You're protected by law. Feed onWink

drinkygin · 17/02/2020 12:02

@PrincessHoneysuckle don’t breastfeed a 2.5 year old then. IMO. HTH.

1busybee · 17/02/2020 12:02

I guess I’d look at it as - would you have sat your child there to eat a snack ? If so crack on. If not yabu

sickandtiredofsick · 17/02/2020 12:02

Sometimes depending on the situation it’s the only type of comfort that will do, by all means try a hug etc first but I’ve found with my dc that it’s the ultimate comfort/calm down tool from the age of about 18 months

sickandtiredofsick · 17/02/2020 12:03

And often managing that means a quick breastfeed and all is calm again

DrinkSangriaInThePark · 17/02/2020 12:03

I just don't understand why a 2.5 year old needed to be "fed" there and then?

Surely breastfeeding a toddler is not about food as much as comfort? Could he not wait?

Original poster
Refreshed · 17/02/2020 12:04

But we weren't preventing a single sole from trying on shoes. The shop is fairly big and had only a few people in there, none looking to sit to try on shoes and nobody else trying on shoes next to us.

Every single seat was empty, there were lots, we just took up one single seat. And definitely not busy, if it was then I'd think it perfectly okay to expect someone BF to move so people waiting can try on shoes.

And again, we were paying customers who had already paid. We just didn't need to try the shoes on

OP posts:
mantarays · 17/02/2020 12:04

If you’re not a customer then I think you were taking the piss, honestly. It’s a private business, not a park bench.

mantarays · 17/02/2020 12:05

But as I’ve just seen the drip feed, YANBU. You were a customer.