Breastfeeding toddler in a shop, AIBU?

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To cut a long story short, out this morning and fed DS (2.5) sitting on a cushion seat in a shoe shop. A few other customers around but nobody even looking like they'd like to try on shoes. All other seats next to me completely free.

An assistant came up to me and said please can I do that somewhere else? The seats are for trying on seats only.

DS was done by this point anyway so I got up and left.

AIBU to have fed him there, and see it as an acceptable place to feed? No other people were sitting there and I wasn't preventing anyone from sitting next to us in the mny other seats avaible

And I was a customer too, having just bought shoes.

For this reason, YADNBU

You bought shoes. I think it's fine to breastfeed there. It would have been a bit cheeky if you'd just wandered in off the street with no intention of buying shoes but that wasn't what happened so it was fine. I breastfed everywhere including shops.

YANBU

I feel like YABU mainly because breastfeeding a toddler seems odd/unreasonable to me ( which is a whole different issue)

However, you weren’t stopping anyone & were a paying customer so YANBU

What did the assistant mean by somewhere else?

Not in the shop?

In the shop but not on a "shoe trying" seat?

Everyone will have their own opinion about this - only you know if you were being unreasonable or not.

I agree. I'm not sure what the point of the post is, given that breastfeeding posts polarise commenters one way, or the other - and nary a mind will change in the process.

I honestly don't know why people can't read the bloody thread. At least highlight the OP and read their comments. OP was a paying customer. It all boils down to general squeamishness about what some people perceive as extended breast feeding. I don't think the shop assistant would've commented if you'd been feeding a newborn. At the end of the day you weren't inconveniencing anyone, and it would be worthwhile pointing out that breastfeeding is supposed to be normalised and supposed to be facilitated.

Totally inappropriate to go into a shop purely to breastfeed. Not everyone is comfortable being around breastfeeding mums - men in particular in a place like a shop. There’s every chance you lost them sales.

Except, as clearly mentioned, I didn't go in to breastfeed. I went in and bought shoes. If people are uncomfortable around breastfeeding then they can either remove themselves or not look my way, which wasn't actually near any shoes before someone suggests that. Or then could acknowledge their discomfort is their own problem and not to be resolved by the mother feeding

YANBU. How many of the people saying "he can wait" have breastfed cranky toddlers? At the end of the day, either its okay to breastfeed in public or its not. And if it is, then you shouldn't be expected to navigate a bunch of unwritten conditions as to when and by what age and under what circumstances it is deemed "acceptable".

YANBU for doing it.

YABU for posting in AIBU when you clearly don't think you're being unreasonable, and I suspect you may be adding to the story a little bit, honestly. I've worked in retail, and the difference between someone being told something they wouldn't like, and not being told, was almost always whether or not they'd bought something. I find it difficult to imagine staff being so arsey (because there was nobody else wanting the seats) to someone who's just bought (I'm guessing not cheap) toddler shoes.

But yeah - YANBU to breastfeed a 2.5 month old in a quiet area of a shoe shop.

I don’t think you should be feeding him in there. He is old enough to wait a little bit so you can take him to a cafe or somewhere you are not in the way of paying customers who want to try on shoes.

A newborn baby can not wait so i do think it’s very different. A 2.5 year old shouldn’t be getting a snack at an area designed for people to try shoes on. Also a 2.5 year old is much bigger so it maybe that it was harder for people to sit and try shoes on. I have sat and fed my then newborn baby a bottle at a shoe trying on area. People still sat down and tried shoes on. I doubt they would have done if I was feeding a much bigger 2 year old there but I wouldn’t sit and feed a 2 year old there anyway.

I'm going to give a tentative YABU as I think a 2.5 year old could be asked to wait until a better time. It's no different really to a toddler asking for lunch or a snack in the shoe shop, and I suspect in those circumstances you would have asked him to wait a minute.

Personally shoe shops tend to be a no food or drink zone which means your not following that rule. With a toddler they should be able to wait until your in a more suitable location.

personally I don’t think a 2.5 year old needs breastfeeding instantly in a shop ASD or no ASD

Most ignorant out of touch comment award goes to this one 🏆

Feeding a toddler takes literally less than a few minutes if it's to calm them down, and often only a few seconds. With a newborn you could be there ages feeding (not saying feeding a newborn is wrong there either).

Obviously no food and drink rules usually apply because food and drink spills and is messy Breastmilk from a toddler isn't going anywhere other than a toddlers mouth. But if you're going to compare to a newborn, however they're fed, there's a fairly good chance they could be sick

YABU.

I wish people would stop comparing it to a snack FFS.

I think if you walked in purposely just to sit and feed your child, that's unreasonable as there are much more suitable places.

I don't think it matters if the child is 2.5 months or years though

I breastfed both of mine into their toddler years and I fed them in public a lot, but I wouldn't feed a 2.5 year old in a shoe shop. I wouldn't feed a newborn in a shoe shop either unless it was a dire emergency. A shoe shop isn't a place to feed anybody unless you absolutely have to.

That said, I think the assistant would have been better off leaving you alone as you were doing an odd thing but you weren't hurting anyone or causing any hassle.

All for breastfeeding here but at 2.5 years old the child should be told to wait. A crying demanding newborn is fine in my opinion but not at this age

Your legal right to breastfeed in public places is outlined here and includes a shop
maternityaction.org.uk/advice/breastfeeding-in-public-places/

I am always disappointed how backwards views are in the uk surrounding breastfeeding and the age of the baby is completely irrelevant.

No problem - it's not as if the shop was full of customers hopping around trying on shoes with nowhere to sit!

No, YABU.

Not because of the breastfeeding, so please don't misunderstand. I actually think extended breastfeeding is great and wish I'd have been able to stick at it for longer.

It's not appropriate to do this in a shop and I agree that it fits into the same bracket as eating and drinking in shops. Something that I can't believe so many people think is ok.

Also, the seats are for people trying on shoes. That's a clear designation.

It's funny how different babies are. I never had to feed my baby in an uncomfortable place, he was always very placid and fed by routine strangely enough. As a toddler he's extremely difficult, can't communicate what's wrong and often gets distressed without any warning. Breastfeeding calls him instantly and is something I think of a God send now. Thea newborn stage was the easy time for me

I would sit and eat in a shoeshop so I think it's a bit odd you think that's OK

YABU. I'm actually against BF in public personally, but can fully understand why people do it. In your case I really can't, you had made your purchase and could have left and gone somewhere suitable.