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AIBU?

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Original poster

Man in ladies toilets

140 replies

Beansprout30 · 28/12/2019 21:15

Twice now I have been in the ladies toilets and there has been a male in there. First time I walked in with my three year old daughter and there was a guy washing his hands just leaving. I just ignored him and carried on but felt very uncomfortable. Second time was yesterday, came out of the cubicle and a man and his female partner, plus young child (not a newborn baby) were changing child’s nappy. At the time I thought what the heck, mum obviously needs a hand, but now I think why didn’t they just use the single disabled/baby change toilet. Why did he need to come into the ladies?
Is this becoming normal?! And aibu to ask how you would have reacted to males being in the ladies public toilets?

OP posts:
Underneaththetree · 28/12/2019 21:17

Did you just ASSUME their gender Shock

superram · 28/12/2019 21:18

If the man identifies as a woman then many places don’t have an issue. Did you question them? I would have.

Original poster
Beansprout30 · 28/12/2019 21:19

Both very much looked like males so yes I did assume

OP posts:
NoseyBuggerMummy · 28/12/2019 21:22

No I've never seen this. I can understand a man going to the ladies if it's the only baby change area but if his wife was with him one would assume she could change the baby alone. It wouldn't bother me but it's a bit weird and not actually allowed.

Wearywithteens · 28/12/2019 21:24

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

Happysummer2020 · 29/12/2019 01:13

That would really annoy me too. Men should stay out of women's spaces....

PumpkinP · 29/12/2019 01:16

I’ve never seen this. Why does the mum need a hand to change a nappy, I’m a single parent and never needed any help to change a nappy Confused

ButterflyBook · 29/12/2019 01:18

I don't know any men at all who would willingly walk into a womens toilet for any reason at all. Unless in an official capacity of cleaner or plumber. I'd be surprised as well.

Bluerussian · 29/12/2019 01:18

I've not come across this and think it's very odd for a bloke to go into the women's toilet but have to say I (I'm a woman) have been in a men's toilet at a motorway services. There was a very long queue for the 'Ladies' and a few of us saw men going in and out of theirs so we just went for it and used the cubicles.

I can't imagine the man in your loo had a similar excuse.

alexdgr8 · 29/12/2019 01:18

but I think the very real problem is that you don't know they were men, nor can you know, because now anyone can say they are female, and thus have to be accorded all the rights and privileges, access to areas set aside for women.
it seems there is now no real or obvious proof of who is to be regarded as female officially.
I certainly don't like it. but what can we do. its getting very intense.

Sparklesocks · 29/12/2019 01:19

I haven’t ever encountered this.

Honeybee85 · 29/12/2019 01:19

I have never seen this but this would really bother me and I’d report him to the staff if this happened in a cafe or restaurant. I don’t care if he’s with a female partner or not, men invading women’s spaces is not on. I can’t imagine my DH doing this under any circumstances and if he ever did he would be told off by me.

T0tallyFuckedUpFamily · 29/12/2019 01:26

I have a very low opinion of men who use a space that they know is supposed to be female only. It shows that they don’t give a shit about how women feel and that’s not the mark of a decent man.

nzborn · 29/12/2019 01:30

Geting too common where l live

NearlyGranny · 29/12/2019 01:34

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NearlyGranny · 29/12/2019 01:37

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NearlyGranny · 29/12/2019 01:37

March, not match!

goodluckdontdie · 29/12/2019 01:43

I haven’t ever encountered this

Me either.

Honeybee85 · 29/12/2019 02:00

Anyone who is over 8 or 9 years old & who has a penis should not enter women only spaces.

It’s that simple.

stupidtabloidheadlines · 29/12/2019 02:06

I've not encountered this, either.

slashlover · 29/12/2019 02:35

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Ozgirl75 · 29/12/2019 04:16

This is why I’m so pleased that most shopping centres over here in Australia have “family” bathrooms as well as male and female. I have 7 and 9 year old boys and I don’t love them going into the men’s as I have read horror stories of what can happen to young boys in them, equally they and I aren’t comfortable going into the ladies either.

If there isn’t a family one, I would send them to the men’s but 9/10 there is one available.

PapayaCoconut · 29/12/2019 04:43

I don't know, I've started using the men's toilets whenever it suits me, seeing as biologically male people can use the women's. Why should anyone follow the rules anymore?

NotherOp · 29/12/2019 05:03

@Ozgirl75 Not sure where in Aus you are, but I’ve never seen a ‘family bathroom’ at a shopping centre here. It’s hard enough to find more than a single unisex accessible toilet in far flung areas of the centres....

Hellofromtheotherside2020 · 29/12/2019 06:14

I'm in Australia too and have seen plenty of family toilets - almost every Westfield Shopping Centre has a family area.

And no, it's very unreasonable that a man was in the ladies toilets. But unfortunately becoming more common. I'm so angry women no longer have safe spaces anymore. It's like that woman's crisis centre in Canada where a "self identifying" woman, who was actually a male predator, gained access to the area to rape women. Just make some bloody unisex or trans toilets thanks.

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